Page 68 of You Are Cordially Invited

My heart stuttered in my chest. “Cam?”

Chapter Thirteen

Cam

Earlier that day

I’d walkedout without even waking him. Left a fucking note, of all things. A coward’s way out.

But I hadn’t been ready to face him, to tell him what I’d done in the wake of everything he’d said to me. He’d been right, more right than he knew, and I refused to add a lie on top of everything else.

Stunnedpretty much summed up my feelings about our ‘discussion’. Reuben didn’t raise his voice, not to me, and man there’d been times he probably should’ve, but that wasn’t his way. He gave me plenty of room in our relationship, seemingly content to let me go and watch the show. I’d tried not to abuse that trust, but clearly, I’d been running on default. Reuben was solid and quiet and just so fucking wonderful, and I’d taken that for granted. Not only had I taken it for granted, but I’d walked all over that agreeable nature without a backward glance.

My stomach soured at the thought.Who the hell was I?

Worse yet, he’d called me on it, and he didn’t even know the full extent of what I’d done.

“We’re getting married on Saturday, Cam...”

Except we weren’t. I’d done exactly what he’d been talking about and postponed everything.

Without talking to him.

Thinking it was the right thing.

I mean I’d planned it all, right? He’d stepped back and let me do everything because that’s what I’d wanted. And so what? That meant I could just go ahead and postpone it as well?

What was wrong with me?

Why didn’t I wait?

Because I was cleaning house like I always did when shit got too much. Clean sluice rooms, clean the ER, clean our house, sweep old boyfriends under the rug, clean our lives, clean the slate.

Start again. Reboot. Take control.

Fucking, fuck, fuck.

How could I tell him that now? What would he think?

Would he think I’d given up on him?

Never.

I would never give up on him.

I’d given up on me.

Shit.

Reuben getting hurt, Stella and the baby, the wedding, the press, Reuben’s fucking father. Nowhere to go.

Clean house.

Empty shit out.

Get the stressful things Icouldcontrol off the list, whatever the cost.

Except maybe the cost would be Reuben this time.

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