Page 60 of You Are Cordially Invited

And so I did, slow and gentle. He slipped his tongue between my lips and I relished the feel of his warm flesh filling my mouth as we briefly made out. My heart brimmed with hope again, drifting home, grounded from the exhausting and pointless cartwheels it had been spinning in my chest. Reuben was real. We were real. Our love was real. So yeah, maybe I could believe that we were gonna be okay as well.

He rubbed his nose against mine and held my gaze. “What did the doctors tell you last night? You were going to wake me.”

“Oh.” I schooled my expression. “Well, it was nothing more than what they told you, so I figured I’d let you sleep.”

A flash of disappointment crossed his face.

“Basically we just have to wait and see if it comes back.”

“Whenit comes back,” he corrected.

I swallowed hard. “Whenit comes back.”

“I’ll be off for a while after this, for sure,” Reuben said as I studied him. “That’ll mean we’ll have time to plan for the baby, together.”

What the hell?I could barely put one foot in front of the other, let alone think about the baby. Other than believing we were crazy for exposing another family to our circus of a life, of course. “I, um, yeah. But maybe we should wait till we know about you first before we think about the baby.”

More disappointment. “That’s very pessimistic,” he commented. “So, you don’t want to talk about it?”

I ran from the scrutiny. “It’s not that I don’twantto. I just don’t think there’s any point until we know more.”

Deep lines creased his forehead. “Have you changed your mind?”

I threw my hands in the air. “Reuben, what is this? You’re lying in a hospital bed, unable to move from the neck down, and you want to talk about babies?” I needed him to stop.

His gaze turned wary, and a deep sigh fell from his lips. “Well, I guess that conversation’s not happening. Is there anything youdowant to talk about?”

I need you to get better. How the hell are we going to get married?

“I’m sorry.” I buried my face against his arm. “Ignore me. I’m just scared.”

“Then talk to me.”

And I almost did. I almost blurted out how terrified I was when I saw him go down on the field. That I didn’t know how I’d cope if he couldn’t put his hands on my body again. That I had a million balls in the air and I didn’t know how I was going to keep juggling them. That I needed him to tell me everything was going to be okay. That his dad was being an arse. That Cory was missing us. That I wanted to crawl in beside him and pretend that none of this was happening.

“What are you wearing?” His voice rolled through me like a warm curling tide, hitting me low in my balls, and I glanced up. The dark flecks in his grey eyes glittered.

I looked down at my clothes. “Um, Jake dropped off a few things.”

“No.” And then he smiled. “Whatare you wearing?” His gaze flicked down my front and I finally understood.

“Oh.” I had to think about it. “Just briefs,” I admitted. “Nothing special.”

He scowled. “I thought so. Do you still have that go-to bag in your office for our surprise dates?”

I nodded, a smile tugging at my lips.

“Then change. You’re... fading into the paintwork and you don’t belong there.” He smiled. “Youdeservespecial, Cameron Wano, every day. And maybe especially today, I think you need it.”

I smiled because he understood me so well and because he was right. I pressed my lips to his and then raced downstairs to change into the blue lace briefs I had stashed in that bag. I pulled them on and stood tall. And when I got back to his room, he made me show him.

“Much better,” he growled and promptly fell asleep.

At 10.00, I pressed hard on Reuben’s nail bed and watched for any sign he’d felt it. He... slept.

The All Blacks’ media guy rang to read me the press release they had planned for noon and I approved it, only later realising that I still hadn’t told Reuben about that little fiasco. It could wait.

At 10.15, Michael called in to say he and Josh were headed home for a break and a change of clothes and that Mark had taken over with the media.

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