Page 70 of You Are Cordially Invited

She continued, “You were a kid who screamed ‘different’ from the minute you left my belly. And I don’t just mean different in the fact of liking makeup and pretty things, or being gay, or beingfabulous, because you know I love all of those parts of you, right?” She arched a brow, and I didn’t even have to think.

I’d always known she loved me wholly and completely.

“Good,” she continued. “You also have one of the biggest hearts I know, a sharp mind, merciless tongue, and a passion for protecting people. That’s what makes you such a wonderful nurse, a gifted charge nurse, and a champion for those LGBTQ youth of yours. You’d fight for your staff and patients and kids until your last breath.”

Warmth washed over me, which was kind of amazing considering how gloriously I’d fucked things up and the depth of the misery pool I was swimming in.

She drew a sharp breath. “All of those qualitiesalsomake you a great parent to Cory and partner to Reuben. They need that strength and fighting spirit. They need someone who can stand up to the media and all the crap that comes with Reuben’s celebrity, and a person who’ll fight for Cory to live his best life. You do all of that, admirably.”

I rolled my eyes. “I sense a but.”

She smiled softly. “Butthose qualities weren’t just handed to you. You’re fiercely protective, preciselybecauseyou know exactly how it feels to be ganged up on, to be threatened, to be ridiculed, even by that bastard of an ex of yours, Dom. And to make sure that never happens again, you take control whenever you can, and mostly that’s worked for you. Giving up that control, however, has never been your strong suit, and if you try and take that into a relationship, you’re asking for trouble. You don’t like to show weakness, and you don’t ask for help. You don’t feel comfortable letting anyone else be your strength, and yet you want to be that for them. But that just means you hold all the power. You have to let Reuben share that.”

I groaned. “He said exactly the same.”

A smile tugged at her lips. “Smart man.”

“You know, you might have led with this conversation a few years ago before I made an arse of myself.”

She patted my hand. “You needed to learn this for yourself. And you of all peopleneededto make an arse of yourself. No better lesson.” Her smile was wide.

“Not at the cost of Reuben,” I muttered.

“Pfft.” Her pat turned to a stinging slap and I jerked my hand away. “Give the man some credit,” she admonished. “And since when do you give up so easily?”

She had a point. I straightened in my seat, took a calming breath, and she eyed me approvingly.

“That’s better. You’ve spent your whole life putting up walls to keep a safe space around you, Cam. And even when those walls aren’t so necessary anymore, they don’t fall down of their own accord. You have to unbuild them. Do you trust Reuben?”

“Of course I do. No one more. That wasn’t why I didn’t talk with him. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through and I didn’t want to add to his worries. I guess I thought it might take the pressure off both of us.”

She nodded. “Reuben’s a good man, one of the best I know. He’s got an excellent brain, good instincts, and he survived twenty-three years of having a total and dangerous dick for a father, while at the same time managing to protect his nephew. He’s an incredibly strong man and I doubt he needs the protection you think he does. Plus, you need to consider if you were really protecting him or simply trying to stay in control and protect yourself. And it’s not just Reuben. You didn’t talk withanyone.”

“Shit.” My head fell against the back of the couch.

“Making decisions for someone you care about without asking isn’t love, Cam. It’s patronising, undermining, and even crippling. It says you don’t have faith in them, in their capacity to prevail. Now, I don’t for a moment believe you think that of Reuben at all. The question is, what are you going to do about it, and I can’t answer that for you.”

She kissed my cheek and left me a hollowed-out shell on the couch.Mothers.

I gathered the shreds of my dignity and headed back to the hospital, getting as far as the ER before being waylaid by Michael and Sandy who were holed up in my office in deep conversation. A conversation that came to an abrupt and telling end as soon as they laid eyes on me.

“Where the hell have you been?” Michael eyed me from behind my own desk, his expression one big pissed-off glare. “Reuben’s been asking for you all morning. You missed his doctors’ roundandthe imagingandthe big rugby bosses think tank across his bed.”

Shit.

“You would never do that without a good reason, but fucked if I can come up with a single one.”

I slumped in the spare chair next to Sandy. “Hello to you too. And get out of my chair.”

“No.” He scowled. “You look like shit. Start talking.”

Sandy took my hand. “What happened?”

Nothing. The word was right there on the tip of my tongue, itching to be voiced. It would be so fucking easy. Dodge. Smile. Snap. Sass and snark. It was all there for the taking.

Instead, I swallowed hard and told them.

Everything.

---