Page 14 of Flare

Monday lectures didn’t start till the afternoon, which made for a relaxing start to the week. And never one to miss an opportunity to get away from the science faculty, it had become habit for my best friend, Rafe, to arrive at my office on Mondays with paper bag lunches in hand. Today was no different, and true to form, his long frame was currently sprawled in the sunny armchair next to the window, a half-eaten chicken burger in one hand, a coffee in the other, and his mouth unattractively agog.

“Shoplifting?” He blew a long, low whistle. “Man, that recent behaviour glitch went south fast. I know you said he was having problems, but that’s a long way from breaking the law. Has he said why?”

“What do you think?” I mumbled around a mouthful of steak and kidney pie. I’d blitzed through about a million calories since Friday and a reckoning was coming, but it wasn’t happening today. Today, I’d instructed my best friend to bring the best fast food the university cafeteria had to offer, and he knew my weaknesses well. “I was supposed to pick him up from school but then I got landed with Kate’s second-year class at the last minute when she fell ill, and I had to tell Jack to get himself home.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Rafe assured me. “Jack’s not a child.”

I stared at the card for Flare sitting on my desk. “No, he’s a sixteen-year-old kid whose world has been turned upside down in less than a year. His mum is in jail. His dad’s a few thousand miles away in Darwin and hasn’t seen Jack since he was two, the fucker. And Jack has shifted hundreds of miles from his home to enrol in a new high school, minus his friends. Plus, he’s moved in with his single, gay uncle who he’s only ever known in that ‘occasional long weekend and Christmases together’ kind of way. Jesus, Rafe, I’m fucking drowning here. I have no idea what I’m doing.” I took another bite of my pie and a balled-up paper bag hit me on the forehead.

“Ow.” I pitched Rafe a glare. “Cut it out.”

“Then stop putting yourself down.” He tossed his golden waves back, raised his arm, and three-pointed a second paper bag into the bin with his usual eerie accuracy. Effervescent, charming, and irrepressibly roughish, Rafe was the sunshine to my eternally introverted, grumpy, and reclusive arse. It had been that way since we were kids.

“Easier said than done,” I grumbled. “You’re not the one rearranging your whole life, professional and personal, to fit around the suddenacquisitionof a sixteen-year-old teenager with big fucking issues to deal with. My department head is pissed as hell that I’m not jumping in to cover the summer classes I did for them last year, and I’m getting a ton of pressure to take on more of a load now we’ve lost two staff to the cuts.”

“We’re all under pressure,” Rafe reminded me, not that it helped.

“But I can’t simply leave Jack floating in the breeze for almost three months over summer break. He’ll have just turned seventeen, and that might be an okay age for most kids to look after themselves, but Jack’s not most kids. You don’t have to look much past this latest shitshow to see where that could lead.”

“Can your dad come up here?”

I shook my head. “His diabetes is too brittle. I don’t want to add to his stress, and I don’t know who I’d be more worried about.”

“Bugger.”

“Yeah, and on top of all that, I got an email wanting me to take on another doctoral student.”

Rafe’s brows crunched. “This far into the year?”

I nodded. “A transfer from down south. Something about a conflict of interest with the original supervisor. I said no, but I’m not sure that’ll fly. My life feels like this teetering pile of building blocks. One wrong move and it’ll all come crashing down.”

Rafe crossed his feet on the arm of my chair and studied me in silence. “You’re doing okay, Beck. They can’t force you.”

“No, but they can make it pretty damn uncomfortable. I’ve already been given Cynthia’s class when she goes on maternity leave.”

“I thought Ken was taking that.”

I shrugged. “Apparently not. But Jack’s had enough years playing second fiddle to his mother’s gambling. He deserves to come first, for once.”

Rafe nodded. “He’s lucky to have you, even if he’s in too much pain to see it. You’re also an easy target with his mum not around. But you’re alsonotSerena, and maybe that’s a good thing as far as Jack’s concerned. You can only be you. There’s a ‘parent Beck’ inside you if you give him a chance. Stop trying to be someone else’s idea of a parent. You’ve got the goods yourself.”

I soaked up Rafe’s words, not realising how badly I’d needed to hear them. “It’s nice to know someone has faith in me.”

He gave a wicked smile and opened his arms. “On the other hand, what the hell would I know about kids? Have you even seen me date a guy with family?” He shuddered and I laughed.

“Dear God, spare me yourrewards of a man or woman in every portspeech, please?” I groaned.

He flashed his dimples at me. “Well, at least Ihavea sex life. Yours packed its bags a decade ago and bought itself a condo in Fiji where it’s enjoying margaritas on the beach and watching straight porn so it doesn’t get too excited. Although, I have to say some of that stuff has its moments.”

“Nope.” I held up my hand. “Stop right there. My dating life is not up for analysis.”

Rafe shot me a grin. “Just as well, cos I’d have to use the biggest microscope in my physics lab just to find that pathetic sucker.”

A pained sound escaped my mouth. “Can you please just shut up?”

Another grin. “No. Have you thought anymore about getting Jack some help?”

I sighed. “He’s refused point-blank until now, but this time I’m putting my foot down. He can talk or not talk, but he’s going to at least get the opportunity. I’m struggling here. And Serena agrees.”

---