Page 99 of Flare

Beck leaned close and rubbed our noses together, then kissed me. “And are you okay with that?”

“Yeah.” I sighed and let the realisation sink in. “I think I am. It has to be for me this time, formyfuture, regardless of how that looks... or with who.” I shot him a nervous glance but all he did was smile.

“Exactly the way it should be.”

I fingered the soft curls on his chest and studied the way they flattened and ran in one direction around his nipples. “But he also said that things might get stirred up before they got better, especially if there are other things happening in my life.”

“Like the show and Gloria.”

I blew out a long sigh and pressed down on his nipple. “Yeah. So maybe we should be prepared.”

“We. I like the sound of that. And it makes sense.”

I took a deep breath and looked over his shoulder to the window where the shadowy branches danced in the wind squalls like ominous puppets. “He also said that we could do a joint session sometime,ifyou were interested?” I chanced a quick look.

Beck was smiling. “I’d love that. Whenever you’re ready. I admit to doing a little research of my own.” He winced.

I shot him an amused look because, of course he had. “Bloody professors.”

He shrugged. “Occupational hazard. But it got me thinking that it might help if I had someone to talk to as well. Perhaps Callum could give me a name.”

I gawked. “You’d do that?”

“For us? Of course, I would. So, tell Callum, yes.”

My mouth opened and closed like a guppy, remembering Nolan’s refusal to even consider talking to someone.It’s your problem, not mine.He’d help where he could as long as it didn’t require too much of him, but it certainly didn’t include looking at himself.

“I’ll tell him,” I finally managed. “And thanks.”

He tipped my chin up and gently pressed his lips to mine. “No need to thank me.”

I settled against his shoulder. “Tell me more about your family. It must’ve been hard on your dad when your mum left like that.”

He sighed. “Yeah. They met when they were eighteen. I think Dad fell head over heels, but I’m not sure my mother ever felt the same. I get the sense she was never particularly content with suburban life. The few snippets of memory I have are of a bubbly, pretty woman who loved to sing. It makes her sound happy, right? And maybe I thought she was at the time, as much as a small child can decipher these things. But as I learned later, most of her singing happened on an empty bottle of wine or two.”

“Oh, baby.” I cupped his face and brought his lips to mine, the kiss sweet and laced with salt from his damp cheeks. “Jesus, we’re a pair.” I nuzzled into his hair.

He sucked in a breath and continued. “She was a bit of a free spirit, and I think Dad fell in love with a brightly coloured songbird when what he really needed was a nesting penguin.”

“No dragons for them, then.”

He shook his head and smiled. “No dragons. Whether her boredom prompted the drinking or the drinking made her dissatisfaction worse, who knows? It may or may not have contributed to my cleft lip and palate, but my issues certainly didn’t make things any easier after.”

“Hey.” I rested my forehead on his. “You weren’t responsible for any decisions she made, no more than I was responsible for what happened to me. You were a child who’d been dealt a crap hand and needed love, not a self-absorbed parent. What happened to her?”

“The police turned up on our doorstep years later to say she’d been killed in a motor vehicle accident. Drunk driving. We didn’t know it at the time, but Dad had never filed for a divorce. I think he secretly hoped she’d come home one day, or else my mother had scared the bejesus out of him.

“Bloody hell.”

Beck pulled back, his eyes glistening, and something flipflopped in my belly.

He took a slow breath and continued. “Dad wasn’t one for conversation, but he was solid. He probably could’ve done without me being outed as gay on top of everything else, but he just got on with it. Serena felt her loss the most, maybe because I had too many other things going on. She was a pretty wild teen—lots of guys, lots of parties. Then she fell pregnant at twenty-one, and that’s when the gambling started. Just little stuff at first. She’d always had that addictive tendency, like Mum, I guess. But none of us knew how bad it had gotten until she was caught fiddling her employer’s books. She stole thousands of dollars of investors’ money, and watching her taken through court, about broke Dad’s heart.”

I gave a low whistle.

“And I’m determined Jack won’t go the same way as his mother and grandmother. He misses Serena more than he’ll admit. I’m trying to do my best, but it’s not like I had a great role model for a mother myself.”

“Jack doesn’t need another mother, Beck,” I reminded him softly. “And you had a pretty great role model with your dad. It’s not what gender you are, you already know that.” I tipped his chin up to look at me. “Right?”

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