Page 111 of Flare

“You need to think carefully about this Beck.” There was more than a hint of warning in his tone. “I need team players going ahead, people who can see the bigger picture and turn this department around. And I’d appreciate you not rolling your eyes.”

Fuck.

“You’re one of the best lecturers we have, I can’t deny that. But you’re not indispensable, Beck. Don’t think that you are. And if you keep taking personal time, you’ll leave me no choice but to reconsider your fit in this department.”

Personal time?I was so done with this shit.

“I have absolutely zero illusions about my indispensability, Brian.” I kept my voice calm. “But my contributions as ateam playerspeak for themselves, long before you ever took that seat. I’ve taught almost every course on our English calendar and have published more than most, more than even you, I believe.”

I left the indictment hanging and he flushed. Then I barrelled on, straight past Rafe’s voice of warning in my ears. I checked but nope, not a single fuck to give.

“This department has had my undivided loyalty and hundreds of unpaid hours for years,” I seethed. “And I’ve rarely asked for anything in return. But my circumstances have changed and I won’t put my nephew at risk just to cover classes that you should have employed a proper substitute for. And I certainly won’t do it just to stretch your budget or make your contact hours look better.”

“It goes with the job.”

“Maybe so. But right now, I’m the only father figure Jack has. Hell, I’m the only available parent figure. And I won’t fuck that up even if it means walking away from this department. Iamskilled, you’re right about that, and I won’t be without a job, Brian. It just might not be here. And you know what, I’m more than fine with that. Now, I am taking today and tomorrow off. Mark it as annual leave or whatever you like, but I am taking it, and I’m fully entitled to do so, in case you have any ideas about writing me up. I’ve set work for my classes and emailed it out. I’ll see you Wednesday.” I pushed to my feet. “And you can take me out of your planning for next year. One way or another, I won’t be here.”

I left in a sea of anger, disappointment, and surprisingly, relief. Not that I’d had much of a choice in my decision. I’d hoped that once the shock settled and Serena was improving, Jack would be okay. But instead, he’d taken a huge step back into that unpredictable moody powder keg I thought I’d seen the last of—flitting between anger at Serena, grief for the gaping hole in their relationship, fear for her health, and resentment for the life he’d been torn from. It was like Groundhog Day and my temper was unravelling. I’d even convinced my father to hold off visiting so he didn’t cop any collateral blowback.

To twist the knife in my heart, Jack might’ve been keeping me at arm’s length, but hewastexting with Rhys who’d called to let me know. Go figure. Their exchanges were mostly inconsequential—stuff about his old school and his life back in Napier, and I’d told Rhys to let it run, for now. The most important thing was Jack was talking tosomeone.

On Wednesday I made it to work after dropping Jack at school with a promise to visit Serena that afternoon. A phone call from his concerned school principal at noon put paid to that. Jack hadn’t been seen all day. Following a frantic few moments, common sense kicked in and a quick call to the hospital confirmed Jack was in fact parked in Serena’s room, having informed the staff that I was fine with him being there.

Since he wasn’t answering his phone, I cancelled my class—which went down about as well as I’d expected—and hightailed it to Auckland Med to give him a piece of my mind. I found him curled up beside his sleeping mother, looking young and exhausted, while Serena had drains coming out every orifice and a face the colour of ash. My anger drained in a second and I collapsed on a chair opposite a sympathetic guard and just tried the fuck not to cry.

By Thursday morning I was tired of it all. Jack was still giving me the cold shoulder, for who the hell knew what—having the audacity to exist, most likely. I rang his therapist and booked an urgent appointment for that afternoon. Apart from having to almost drag him through the door, it must’ve gone well enough, because he actually talked a little when I picked him up, and minus the sarcastic sneer I’d been subject to all week. Miracles did happen.

The only other positive note in the whole week—Serena’s transfer orders finally came through and she was set to move to the newer, more relaxed facility the following month. It couldn’t have come at a better time, and the smile on Jack’s face was like a rainbow after a storm.

“Is that from Rhys?” Rafe indicated the envelope I held in my hand. He was sat in his usual Friday afternoon position in the chair next to my window, earnestly avoiding the touchy topic of my imminent resignation at the end of the year. To his credit, he seemed to support my decision. Didn’t mean he was happy about it, although I guessed that was more about him missing my sunny office and sparkling conversation than any real concern for my future employment. I needed to start charging him rent.

I nodded. “Two VIP passes to his show next week.” I handed Rafe the passes and stared at the note on my desk that accompanied them.

I know you might not be ready to come since we haven’t talked yet, and if so, feel free to hand these on. But I wanted you to have them because it won’t feel the same without you. I hope things are improving with Jack and Serena. I miss you.

Yours, Rhys

I frowned at the words.Yours.What did that really mean?

“Are you going?”

“Huh.” My gaze jerked up. “Oh, I, um, I don’t know. It’s been a crazy week and Rhys and I haven’t had a chance to talk since last weekend. He’s so busy with the show, and things still feel... awkward between us.”

“Mmm. Meaning you’ve been acting chickenshit.” Rafe threw the passes onto my desk and put his feet up on the chair I normally sat in. “And I’m guessing things will stay awkward until you actuallydo, you know,talkto the man. There’s a novel idea.”

I shot him an irritated look. “And when exactly was I supposed to manage that?”

He raised his hands. “Hey, I’m not the enemy here.”

I sagged in my chair and picked up the note, turning it over a time or two before giving it to him to read. “I’m sorry. I know you’re not. It’s just we’ve been having these maddeningly polite text conversations all week about Jack and Serena and every damn thing except us, and it’s driving me crazy. Maybe he doesn’t want to talk.”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake. What drugs are you on? The guy came to sit in the hospital with youafteran argument and with no idea what reception he’d get. And this note screams he still wants you. Grow a pair.”

I flipped him off. “Thank you very much for that sound and carefully considered advice.”

He scowled. “Do you think if Rhys really cares for you, that he’s going to push when your life is in the crapper?” Rafe set about folding the note in his hands.

No.I sighed. “No. I don’t. But that’s the point, isn’t it? My lifeisin the crapper, and he has Fashion Week coming up with the final rehearsal tomorrow. Not to mention the shit going down about his designs. In the few words I’ve gotten out of Jack, who’s following it on social media, the whole Instagram thing has gone viral. There were even people protesting outside Mennz on Tuesday, and the press have been trying to pin Rhys down for an interview, which he won’t do for obvious reasons. Besides, I thought you were pissed with Rhys for scarpering? You hardly rolled out the welcome mat for him at the hospital.”

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