He cocked a brow. “Oh really.” Disbelief written all over his face.
I fired him a dirty look. “You know I’m liking that cover shot less and less.”
He laughed and I reached for my sketch pad, the scratch of long pencil strokes down a floor length coat serving to calm the muddle in my head.
“And that was before Beck knew anything about me,” I griped. “Plus, I really don’t have the time. I need to stay focused, Hunter, not dissecting my sexual hang-ups in minute detail in front of some fucking stranger when it could just end up a total waste like with Nolan.”
“Nolan was a narcissist who couldn’t get past his own arsehole. From what you’ve told me about Beck, he’s right behind you in this. Unless you’re telling me you feel the same for Beck as you did for Nolan?”
I shot him a look. “I loved Nolan.”
He cocked a brow and said nothing.
I crumbled. “Okay, so I thought I did. Now, I’m not so sure.”
“Because of Beck?”
“Because of a lot of reasons, but yes, Beck is one. Things are... different with him. I’m not saying I’m in love. Jesus, Hunter, it’s barely been a month. That would be ridiculous.”
More of that patient look and the nothing that went with it.
“Fat lot of help you are.”
“Oh, come on, Rhys, what the hell do I know about love? But I do know Nolan was a mistake. You were lonely and you settled for the first guy who seemed willing to try.”
He was right. “Well, I liked him, even if you didn’t. I thought maybe the whole head-over-heels thing was never going to happen and Nolan was as close as I was going to get. What’s so wrong with wanting someone forme?”
“Oh, babe.” Hunter circled the table and pulled me into his arms. “Nothing’s wrong with it, but you deserve the whole enchilada.” He pulled back and smiled that boyish smile that was responsible for melting the hearts of more than a few men before they quickly realised they were in it alone. “You don’t have to settle, so how about not fucking this up just because you’re scared to try again. It’s early days for you and Beck, I get that. But you and I both know you can’t just close your eyes and hope for the best. I guess the most important question is whether you think Beck is worth it.”
The fact Ididn’thave to think was scary as hell. “He is. Or at least I want him to be.” I pushed away and walked to the window, an eddy of old leaves catching my attention, whipped up by the stout southerly. “But if I do this again and itdoesn’twork, not even with Beck, then what’s left? And if he leaves me like Nolan—” I sucked in a shaky breath and sighed. “I want a normal fucking life, Hunter, or at least a good shot at it. I can live with a few wrinkles, some workarounds, and even some no-gos. But I want a partner and a family and all the stupid hearts-and-roses shit.” I wiped at my eyes. “God, I am so pathetic.”
Hunter appeared at my shoulder, his arm around my waist. “Enough.”
“Yeah, I know.” I straightened my spine. “I amnotpathetic. I’m a fucking awesome survivor.”
He nodded. “And you deserve a life.”
I threw him a look. “AndI deserve a life.”
His face lit up in a warm smile. “Then you have your answer. I’ll send you the bill. Now, I have a man to see about a potential mid-week dinner and fuck combo. And you have a very excited young dude downstairs to get ready for a ball. I hope you found a good pumpkin. Lord knows I could give you the damn mice. Fucking landlord is ignoring all my emails.”
“It’s a dance, not a ball.” I steered Hunter down the stairs to where Kip was supervising Jack trying on a selection of clothes I’d picked out for him. “And as for the other, if you’re not careful, you and Kip will only have each other left to fuck in the entire city of Auckland.”
Hunter gave a horrified grunt, and Kip turned from where he’d been flipping the closed sign on the front door and immediately crossed himself. “Like hell,” he gasped.
Hunter grinned. “Yeah, what he said. I love your sassy arse, honey—” He ruffled Kip’s hair, earning himself a flick on the forehead. “—but you and I would be a total fucking disaster.”
Kip huffed. “I couldn’t agree more. Now getyoursexy arse out of here. You’re making my display units look untidy.” They shared a secretive look, then Hunter was gone.
“Where’s Jack?”
“Out back with Drew.”
“Drew?” My heart picked up. “I need to see—”
Kip grabbed my arm. “Give them a minute, yeah?”
He had a point. “Okay, so, what was all that with Hunter?”