Page 22 of The Mechanics of Lust

Not exist. Not look so tempting. Not fill my dreams and every fucking waking thought in my head. Not be nice. Not confuse me. Not make me wish for things I shouldn’t. Not scare me.

“It’s not you,” I finally admitted. “It’s me.” It sounded ludicrous even as I said it, but for all intents and purposes, it was true. I might not be sure about Luke, but the fact I was absurdly attracted to him wasn’t his fault.

He snorted. “Really? ‘It’s not me it’s you.’” He made air quotes. “That’swhat you’re going with?”

I shrugged. “It’s all I’ve got. I’m working on it, okay? Can we leave it at that, please?”

He hesitated, scanning my face for... who the hell knew what. Eventually he sat back down again. “All right. But if you try and spray me with disinfectant, I’m out of here.”

I couldn’t help but smile and raise my hand, my thumb and forefinger barely apart. “Not even just a little—”

“No.” He chuckled and batted my hand away, the tension between us dissolving for maybe the first time ever. “Come on then. Give me a couple of stories I can work with.”

And so I did, sharing a few short accounts involving mustering misadventures, weather catastrophes, and the first female station owner in the Mackenzie. Luke listened raptly, asked a ton of questions, and I found myself slowly relaxing into his enthusiasm and obvious interest.

It wasn’t... terrible. In fact, it was kind of nice, which was less reassuring than it sounded. Luke was quick-minded, interesting, and fun, exactly what the rest of the team had been telling me for months. He shared some of his own flying adventures but didn’t hog the conversation, and he had the kind of dry, sardonic sense of humour that I loved, something I’d already known but refused to acknowledge, because... reasons, most revolving around the realisation that Luke wasn’t just a pretty face. He was a lot more, a fact that made him particularly dangerous to my bruised heart.

Agreeing to talk had been a mistake, because slowly but surely Luke was wheedling his way under my skin and undermining my defences. I liked the man, no surprise there. But the already complicated history between Holden and Gil and myself notwithstanding, if Luke and I started fucking as well, the station would give any soap opera a run for its money.

By the time we were done talking, a half hour had passed. My beer was finished, Luke’s cup was empty, the kitchen was dark under the clouded sky, a light rain was spattering on the window, and there was still no sign of Holden and Gil.

“I should go.” I got to my feet and Luke quickly did the same. “Thanks for flying us today. It’s good to know we still have a pilot.”

“You’re more than welcome.” Luke’s bright blue eyes found mine and lingered there for a beat or two. “I enjoyed talking with you, Zach.”

Something fluttered in my chest, and I didn’t trust myself to give any answer that didn’t include shoving my tongue down his throat, so I simply nodded and turned to leave.

“But just so we’re clear—” Luke’s voice was so quiet I almost missed it. “—I’d rather it was you, on Friday.”

I froze in place, keeping my back to him.

“I’d rather it was you and not Doug I was meeting for a drink.”

I turned slowly to face him. “Me?”

A tiny smile tugged at his lips. “Yes, you. Call me a masochist, but I’d rather spend a few hours being put in my place by you than flattered by Doug.”

I almost laughed. “Then you’re crazy.”

Luke’s expression barely flickered. “It’s been said before.”

I folded my arms and studied him for a moment, the air between us electric with possibility. “I’m not interested in a hookup,” I lied.

His smile broke free. “I don’t recall asking, but good to know. However, the real reason behind me mentioning it is that I’m the new kid in town. I’m trying to meet people and make friends, and you seem like a nice guy to make friends with.” He held my gaze. “When you give me a chance, that is. I’mtryingto fit in. Trying to build a new life after... well, everything.”

A nice guy to make friends with?I reeled in a surge of pleasure and sympathy because that fucked with the whole keeping Luke at a huge whopping distance thing, something that I was already doing a pretty shabby job of maintaining.

“And I wish you well with that,” I finally offered. “I do mean that. But I’m sure Douggie will do a standout job for whatever it is you need.”

Luke nodded. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” His gaze burned into mine with enough heat to set every one of my lying protests alight. “Maybe Iamimagining this.” His finger waggled back and forth between us.

“This?” I sucked in a breath while berating myself for falling into the trap of asking the question.

His mouth curved up in a tiny smile and he took a step closer.

I took a couple back until my shoulders hit the wall.

Luke took another half step, and I was forced to look up and fall into those blue, blue eyes.

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