Page 27 of The Mechanics of Lust

We clinked bottles and I was about to take a long swallow of beer when the bar door swung open and the entire team from Miller Station strode in as a single pack led by a red-faced Sam. Gil caught my eye, glanced between Doug and me, and smiled. Then he nudged Holden who looked our way and did much the same thing, adding a wink at the end for good measure.

Dear God. Kill me now.

They swarmed around the bar and that’s when I saw him hiding at the rear of the pack. None other than the elusive Zacharia Lane. Dressed in a fitted black T-shirt tucked into sinfully tight blue jeans that sported a large silver belt buckle, the man dripped sex appeal all over the pub’s century-old floorboards. His auburn waves shone gold under the bright lights of the bar, and if I hadn’t seen his face, I’d have known him from the sexy country-boy swagger he had down to aT.

Well, fuck me. Then he could do it all over again.

Tom slapped the wooden top on the bar to get everyone’s attention and I almost jumped. “In honour of our youngest shepherd’s fourteenth birthday—” Tom paused to hoots of laughter and Sam turned an even deeper shade of red. “—there’s a round of drinks for everyone courtesy of Miller Station.”

Everyone in the bar cheered and clapped.

Everyone except me.

Because I hadn’t taken my eyes off Zach from the second I’d seen him. He was so fucking hot he sucked the air from the room. But not just hot. He was also beautiful in that way men had when they had no idea how truly lovely they were. When that innocence was unaffected and genuine. It knocked the socks off all the sophisticated bullshit games I’d spent the last year indulging in, in some misguided attempt to forget the pain of losing Callie and my marriage imploding. And as I watched Zach smile at something Charlie said and then casually reach out and ruffle Sam’s hair, the straightforward, honest simplicity of the man stole the breath from my lungs.

But as I watched, I realised something else. There was a nervous quality to Zach I hadn’t seen before, his gaze flitting around the bar like he expected to be set upon by thieves and vagabonds at any moment. I almost laughed, because there was no doubt in my mind as to the source of his discomfort and who the vagabond was. I didn’t know whether to be flattered or plain pissed off that he clearly wasn’t going to be happy to see me.

Either way, I didn’t want to ruin his night. He deserved to enjoy downtime with his team without me cramping his style. I’d finish my beer and then leave him to his party and head home. But before I could look away, Zach’s crystal green eyes finally found mine, and there was nowhere to run.

He blinked like he was processing the reality of me sitting there, then his gaze slid sideways to Doug, and I was pretty sure I caught an eye roll.

Well, shit.That stung a lot more than it should’ve. And also, hell no to leaving if that’s the reaction I was going to get every time we ran into each other. I was kind of tired of the whole stale dance.

“Something I should know?” Doug’s gaze flicked between Zach and me, a smile tugging at his lips. When I said nothing, he pressed. “Would he happen to be the reason this pleasant evening we’ve been having isn’t going any further? Because it’s not, is it?”

I ignored the bit about Zach and shook my head. “I’m sorry. I’m not looking for a rinse and repeat of my Wellington life. It wasn’t helping me get back on track, if you know what I mean.”

He shrugged. “Hey, you can’t win ’em all.”

I glanced over to where Zach was chatting with Tom and some other guy I didn’t know and sighed, because for sure, you couldn’t. Then I turned back to Doug. “I’d like to be friends though, if that works for you. I’m a little short of those right now. Besides, this is a small town.”

“That it is.” Doug’s expression turned sympathetic. “Don’t shit where you eat, right?”

I snorted. “Pretty much.”

He lowered his voice. “And by ‘back on track,’ are you talking about recovering from the death of your daughter?”

I huffed dispiritedly. “I’m not sure anyone ever recovers from something like that, but feeling hopeful again would be a start. I have to stop running and start building something new that doesn’t involve a merry-go-round of men and too much alcohol.”

Doug nodded thoughtfully and raised his bottle. “Well, you can never have too many friends, right?”

I clinked mine to his and said, “Thanks.”

We drank a toast to friendship and then Doug put his bottle down and tipped his head toward Zach. “So, are you saying it’s nothing to do with a certain gorgeous young shepherd that keeps looking our way like he wants to punch me in the nose but eat you for dinner, and yes, he’ll have fries with that?”

My gaze immediately shot sideways to Zach, and Doug huffed in amusement like I’d proved him right, which I supposed I had.

I levelled Doug with a half-hearted glare. “Arsehole.”

“No doubt about that. But am I wrong?” His expression dared me to disagree, and I suddenly found myself tired of the whole fucking thing.

“No, you’re not wrong,” I admitted with a heavy sigh. “But don’t ask me why cos I don’t know.”

“But you like him for maybe more than just a hookup.” Statement, not question, and to my horror, I found myself nodding.

“Crazy, right? But nothing’s going to happen. Zach’s made that perfectly clear. He might wanna fuck me, but he doesn’tlikeme, and although I might be a bit screwed in the head, I’m not interested in that kind of self-flagellation added to all my other issues.”

“Amen to that.” Doug chuckled, and we clinked bottles again.

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