Page 6 of The Mechanics of Lust

Julian’s eyes went soft. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Julian, let’s go,” my father grumbled. “You were the one in a hurry.”

I shot him a filthy look and whispered, “Dickhead.”

“Give me two minutes,” he told our father and then turned back to me and lowered his voice. “You’re right. Heisa dickhead, but I’m working on him. We all are. Even Mum got shitty and snapped at him the other day when he refused to let us talk about you. He’s so damn pig-headed.”

My gaze jerked back to Julian. “She actually said something?” I tried not to feel hopeful. My mother generally followed whatever my father said without question, even when it came to him leaving me no choice but to leave home after I’d come out to them the previous year. If I was “going to be gay”—my father had almost spat the words like it was a choice—then I had to keep it out of their sight. I couldn’t ever have a man stay over in my cottage or even raise the subject in conversation.

Given his ultimatum, it became the easiest and most difficult choice I’d ever made. I left the station that very day.

Jules snorted. “Well, don’t get too excited, but yeah, she put him in his place. It shocked the hell out of him along with everyone else.”

I chuckled. “Good for her. Tell her I... miss her.”

Jules’ smile turned sad and he nodded. “I will. She loves you; you know that. She’s just not a strong person. But don’t give up.” His hand clasped my shoulder. “Anyway, I better go before he bursts a blood vessel. Lunch next week?”

“If I’m not still hungover from tonight.”

He frowned. “You better not be planning to drive back to Miller’s or I’m handing Nola your car keys right now.”

I almost laughed. Jules had personified the protective older brother while we were growing up. “In this state?” I opened my arms incredulously, swaying slightly in the process. “I don’t think so. I’ll be sleeping in the ute.”

Jules glanced over my shoulder to where Luke was still standing, and I realised Luke must’ve heard everything we’d said. Jules thanked Luke for having my back before adding, “And make sure he doesn’t drive.”

I was about to protest that Luke had absolutely no say in what I did or didn’t do when Luke muttered, “Not a chance in hell.”

I turned and fired Luke a killer glare, the impact no doubt tempered by the fact I over-balanced and Luke had to steady me. As soon as I had my feet again, I shoved him away none too gently.

Those spectacular blue eyes narrowed. “What was that for?”

“For being a dick. I don’t need youkeeping an eye on me. I don’t needanyone.”

Luke looked a lip twitch away from a smile, which only pissed me off further. Julian’s curious gaze bounced between us, knowing he was missing something, but rather than ask, he pulled me into another quick hug and then headed back to my father.

I watched them leave, my hand lifting to cover that gnawing ache of grief and yearning in my heart. If only it was as easy to hate someone as it was towantto hate them. I’d once seen my whole life playing out on my family’s station, or maybe Miller’s—raising a family, training my dogs, working side by side with Julian or Holden.

It only went to prove how fucking badly you could get things wrong.

I scrubbed my palms over my eyes, shrugged off Luke’s hand, and made a wobbly line for the front door. Outside, the warm summer air did nothing for my head, my brain spinning like a wonky top. I paused and sucked in a few deep breaths and let my head fall back. Over the Mackenzie Basin, a slightly blurry blanket of stars gleamed as far as the eye could see, the jagged peaks of the Southern Alps wrapped in black shadow against the midnight sky. As always, it set my heart to rest.

I gathered my wits and began to weave my way toward my ute, which I’d parked about as far away as you could get from the front door so that Gil wouldn’t see it when he’d arrived. I’d got about halfway there when Luke’s voice rang out behind me.

“Hey, wait up.”

I didn’t. I kept going, muttering over my shoulder, “Go away, Luke. I appreciate your concern back there with my dad, but I’m fine. Also, I’m tired.”

He didn’t go away, of course. Instead, he fell into step alongside. “I know you’re not planning to drive home—”

“Hey—” I spun to face him a little too fast and had to give my brain a second to catch up. “Do I look like an idiot?”

He blinked and took a step back. “Not at all. That’s why I said I knew you weren’t. But you did leave this behind.”

I scowled at the jacket in his hand and then grumbled, “Thank you.” I went to take it from him, but he whipped it away, his eyes dancing.

“Only you could make thank you sound like a life sentence.”

I narrowed my gaze, or at least I gave it my best shot, all things considered. “Now you’re just pissing me off.” I turned and kept walking. “Keep it. Whatever.”

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