Page 85 of The Mechanics of Lust

“Stop doing that,” I growled. “I don’t know, all right?”

She took a breath and blew out a long sigh. “How do you recognise a potential match with a dog?”

I choked out a laugh. “Now, I know you’re not comparing boyfriends to choosing a damn dog, right?”

She shrugged. “Just answer the question.”

“Whatever. Well, there’s breeding, obviously.”

She chuckled. “Let’s pretend Luke passes the hip-dysplasia test and other hereditary issues.”

“All right. Well, there’s temperament. For me, I like bold but not stubborn. Intelligent. Quick thinking. A dog that anticipates what I need but who can pivot. Who has the potential to work as part of a team. Who wants to work. Who bonds with me. Trusts me.” I rolled my eyes at Charlie. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you? But this has nothing to do with real human relationships.”

“No, you’re right,” she agreed far too readily, and I steeled myself. “Human relationships are way more complex because the roles can shift. There’s give and take, stepping in when the other needs you to lead for a while, and vice versa. Encouraging the other to grow and take chances, all of that.”

I thought about how Luke enjoyed me bringing it both in bed and out of it. And how when I was with him, I felt more fully... me, like that made any sense. It wasn’t like I hadn’t beenmewith Holden, but with Luke, it felt... more.

Sam appeared and headed for the kennels, while Tom called out to let the guests know dinner was almost ready and Holden started walking our way.

Charlie leaned in close and whispered, “All I’m saying is—and I can’t believe I’m having to remind a gay guy about this—you like who you like. End. Of. Story.”

“Please tell me we’re talking about Zach’s secret lover.” Holden held his hands over the fire to warm them.

“Oh, no. There is nowein this conversation.”I glared at my best friend before firing Charlie my best don’t-you-fucking-darelook. They smiled as one and my gaze bounced between them. “Now you’re just pissing me off.”

“Everyone up to the table,” Tom called.

I jumped to my feet. “Whoops. Look at that. Gotta go.”

“Wait a minute.” Holden put a hand on my arm.

Charlie looked between us and got to her feet. “Don’t keep us waiting too long,” she warned. “Alek will start chewing his arm off if he’s not fed soon.”

The second she was gone, Holden dropped his hand. “I just wanted to check in with you. You’ve been pretty quiet. It’s not like you. Have, um, have things finished with this new guy?” He eyed me cautiously. “Is that why you’ve been such a prickly bastard?”

I couldn’t,wouldn’trespond, my throat thick and scratchy with emotion I wasn’t prepared to show.

When I didn’t answer, Holden sighed. “Okay, none of my business. All I’m going to say is that I haven’t seen you smile as much as you have in the last couple of months for... well, for years. Including while we were doingourthing, which is a bit of a blow to the ego if I’m honest.”

I snorted. “I’m sure you’ll survive.” Then I thought about what he said and added, “You think I’ve been smiling a lot?”

He snorted. “Hell, yeah. Like the cat who got the cream.”

“Oh.” Heat bloomed in my cheeks.

Holden laughed. “Yeah, exactly like that. Come on, let’s eat.” He threw an arm over my shoulder and steered me toward the table. We’d just finished loading our plates and grabbed a seat when the relentless brassy noise of a car horn echoed through the camp and up the river valley.

Heads spun as we all recognised the sound of Gil’s ute, and Holden shot to his feet and started running. Seconds later the vehicle blasted through the gate into camp, kicking up stones and spraying water in a large arc off the back tyres. I ran to Holden’s side, as did the rest of the team, my heart pumping. Gil’s arrival like this meant nothing good, that was for sure.

The second he’d skidded to a stop, the driver’s door flew open and Gil jumped out. To everyone’s surprise but mostly mine, he bypassed Holden and made a beeline for me, blurting, “Your dad and Jules are missing somewhere up the top of Halifax beat above Yellow Tarn.”

The air whooshed from my lungs. “What do you mean, missing?”

Gil shook his head, his expression bleak. “I’m not entirely sure, but apparently, your dad went up to check on a group of wethers he’d spotted from the Cessna yesterday. Jules insisted it could wait, that the cloud was too low. Everyone thought it was settled, but while they were busy in the woolshed, Paddy took Chip and headed off on his own. Just after lunch, he called your mum on the satphone to say he’d moved the wethers down and was on his way back. That’s the last anyone’s heard from him.”

I shook my head in furious disbelief. “That idiot.”

Gil nodded. “Jules took Hopper and went after him, but it’s been three hours and still no word.”

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