Page 96 of The Mechanics of Lust

Zach chuckled. “That man can sleep anywhere.”

I found Zach’s hand and gave it a friendly squeeze. I wasn’t even going to pretend. I just needed to touch him. To my surprise, he responded immediately, squeezing back and sending my heart into its usual and ridiculous pitter-patter of hope. The memory of his elation when we found Jules and Paddy and the feel of his lips back on mine was stuck in my brain on an ever-repeating loop.

Overall, the day hadn’t been at all good for my heart. Too many mixed messages. All except the one that had been accompanied by a look of regret that left no room for misinterpretation.I shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m sorry.

“How are you doing?” I croaked out the words. “It’s been a day.”

I couldn’t gauge his expression in the dark but his answer was... cautious. “Okay, I think. I’m not sure it’s hit yet.”

“Me neither.”

And that was the sole measure of our conversation. Other than Jules’ snoring, the cockpit remained as quiet as the hushed fog that blanketed it as we tried to fall asleep.

Yeah, not a chance in hell.

And when Zach’s quiet breathing also failed to sink into sleep, I whispered, “Are you uncomfortable? Do you want to swap seats?”

He hesitated, then said, “No. I’m just... cold. Probably the adrenaline crash.”

I swivelled on my seat and put my back to the chopper’s door. Then, with one foot on the floor and the other leg pressed against the back of the seat, I opened my arms to him. “Come on. Shove that pack between the seats and try scooting back against me. Can’t be any more uncomfortable than sitting upright in these things, and it’ll keep us both a little warmer.”

I sensed him weighing the pros and cons and totally got it. Having Zach curled in my arms wasn’t going to help make things less awkward for either of us. Call me a masochist and be done with it. “Body heat, remember?”

More hesitation, but then with an obvious reticence that stung a little, he layered a couple of bags between the seats and gingerly perched on top of them before resting back against me. Neither of us could fully stretch our legs and we had to shuffle to find the least uncomfortable position, but eventually we settled, and damn, if Zach didn’t fit like magic in my arms as he always did.

And if I had to bite my lips to stop from pressing a kiss to his head, that was nobody’s business but my own. Over the next ten minutes, the stiffness in Zach’s body slowly bled away and exhaustion claimed him. He grew heavy on my chest, his head lolling sideways against my jaw, his soft snores telling the rest of the story.

Sleep well, baby. You’ve earned it.

Rest didn’t come quite as easily for me though—thoughts about the man in my arms tumbling through my brain like scree down those slopes. The scent of stale sweat, dog, damp mountain, lanolin, and all the crazy things I loved about Zach began to slowly unstitch all the good work I’d done on those wounds he’d left when he’d walked away.

I tightened my arms and he turned slightly and burrowed his face against the side of my neck, his warm breath giving life to memories of him sharing my bed. Memories I could well do without.

Still asleep, Zach’s fingers hooked the green silicone wristband like they so often did, the feel of it making me smile. He seemed to like playing with it, spinning it around, or fingering the wordPoppawhen we were hot and sweaty after an epic round of sex. Sometimes he asked about Callie, sometimes he just played with it in silence, almost like the idea of it, ofmeas a father, more than simply the guy he was fucking was somehow fascinating, or maybe... unsettling.

Did it make it harder for him to keep me in that nice little box he’d put me in? I could only wonder.

What do you think?I asked Callie the question in my head.Am I a fool to keep hoping?

My head fell back against the side window and I stared out into the pitch of the night.I wish you could’ve met him.

Her answer when it came was no surprise.I have.

And somehow, I knew it was true. Not that it made the losing of him any easier.

And with that thought in my heart and Zach safely in my arms, I gave in to exhaustion and drifted into a restless sleep.

CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE

Zach

It wasthe snore in my ear that woke me—reassuringly familiar and yet achingly tender at the same time. Then there was the heat at my back, the arms around my waist, and the unmistakeable scent of Luke’s cologne rising from his skin amidst all the other aromas he’d accrued from the day before.

My eyes sprang open to the grey light of dawn flooding the interior of the cockpit. I lay quiet for a moment, revelling in Luke’s hold while at the same time cataloguing the bone-deep ache that seemed to emanate from every square centimetre of my body. It protested like a tractor had run over it and then reversed just to make sure.

I glanced into the back seat to check on my father and blinked when my eyes landed on his, open and watching me in return, or maybe watchingus. His expression was unreadable. I fought the urge to free myself of Luke’s hold because... fuck my father. Without Luke, he’d still be on that hill and maybe not waking up at all. If he had a problem with what he was seeing, he could damn well keep it to himself.

“He’s still groggy,” Jules whispered, looking wide awake and sitting with his back against the door. “He knows where he is and most of what happened, but he still can’t move his right leg and his speech is all over the place.”

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