Page 97 of The Mechanics of Lust

“You been awake long?”

He nodded. “Hardly the Hilton, right? I fed the dogs and gave them a run.”

“Thanks.” I eased myself out of Luke’s arms, trying not to wake him, but his eyes sprang wide.

Blinking in the light, he dragged his hands down his face, grumbling, “Christ, what a night.” He circled his shoulders and then turned gingerly in his seat, wincing at the protest from his muscles. “I’m gonna file an official complaint about this hotel.”

I snorted and slid out the passenger door to stretch my cramping legs. Four dogs instantly appeared at my side in a boisterous welcome. After administering pats all around, I sent them back under the tarp to keep warm.

Inside the chopper, Luke popped the kinks from his neck and peered through the windshield. “It’s still pretty murky out there, but I don’t think it’s as bad as last night. Whaddya think?” He directed the question to me. “Is there a breeze?”

I lifted my face to the sky and nodded. “More than yesterday, at least. And it’s turned easterly. That should help.”

The cloud still hung in wispy threads over the tarn, licking at its surface and swirling around the boulders, but that previous sense of a solid wall of grey was gone from the night before. In its place were occasional glimpses of mountains and the valley below. And looking up, I could even pick out a little of Halifax beat snaking up toward the peaks.

The helicopter door opened and closed, and a few seconds later Luke joined me at the edge of the small plateau. “Fuck, it’s cold.” He rubbed his arms and stared over the edge down into the misty valley with its tempting glimpses of the river. “If this wind keeps up, we’ll be fine in a couple of hours.” His shoulder nudged mine. “I just spoke to Gary about the rescue chopper idea, but since there’s only one available and we can’t give them a time for the pick-up, they suggested flying direct to Christchurch would be the quicker option. They can’t clear us to land at the hospital, but if we call once we’re on our way, an ambulance will meet us at the airport.” He cupped my cheek. “Don’t worry. We’ll get him there safely. You can rescue me anytime, mister.”

I snorted and elbowed him back. “Let’s hope I never have to. And thanks... for last night. It couldn’t have been comfortable for you.”

He turned and our gazes caught for a moment. “I could never be uncomfortable with you in my arms.”

My cheeks flushed hot and I quickly looked away. “I, um, better let Mum and the others know we’re okay.”

Luke nodded. “I left it on my seat.”

I headed back to the helicopter for the satphone, aware of his eyes on me all the way. I had no answer for all those questioning looks or the troubling emotions that were surfacing inside me in response. His presence was a constant reminder of what I’d been missing, but more than that, of what Iwanted.

Could I really risk my heart again? Was it as easy as that?

Charlie’s words came to mind.Who says you can’t have all of it or at least some of it?

Idid.But I was beginning to wonder exactly where that certainty had come from. Or was it simply a warm blanket to keep me safe from another rejection, just like Charlie said?

* * *

Still thick around the peaks, the cloud had cleared enough from Yellow Tarn by eight thirty for Luke to give the green light, and once he’d let Gary know, we were off. Jules had intended to get off at Lane Station with the dogs and then drive Mum to Christchurch Hospital, three hours away. But we landed to find that Emily, Holden, and Gil had already picked her up after my earlier call that morning. She’d be there when Paddy arrived or soon after.

Considering the tension that existed between the stations, or more accurately, Dad and Miller Station, it was an incredibly kind thing to do, and I was reminded of Tom’s comment thatIwas a part of Miller Station too and that they always looked after their own.

As promised, an ambulance was waiting at the airport when we landed and we handed Paddy over. Figuring Mum would need some kind of transport, Jules hired a car and then we followed to the hospital. Emily, Holden, Gil, and Mum were all waiting in the Emergency Department when we arrived, and my mother was first to grab me in a hug and thank me.

Startled, a jumble of emotions clawed at my chest—anger, disappointment, and just plain fucking hurt bubbled up inside, but it wasn’t the time. And with Luke’s presence looming over me like the biggest of shadows I couldn’t seem to shake, I slid my arms around Mum’s waist and returned the hug.

I was pretty sure I caught a grunt of approval from the big man at my back, and it almost brought a smile to my face. After that, Mum and I kind of retreated into our corners and I was okay with that. It allowed me the opportunity to lean against Luke’s shoulder and snatch some sleep as we waited.

Once Dad finished a barrage of tests and was fully admitted, we followed him up to the ward where we waited again while another team looked him over, stinking up the visitors’ room with our unwashed bodies. Mum, Jules, and Emily talked quietly at one end of the small room while we sat mostly in silence at the other. Looking to pass the time, I eventually excused myself to the accessible toilet and cleaned up as best I could with the scratchy paper towels and pump soap.

We’d been told Dad had indeed suffered a stroke—a big one, according to the physician who’d seen him in the ER. It had left him with a dense right-sided hemiplegia that was going to need months of rehabilitation and speech therapy. That he hadn’t died on that mountain was down to Jules getting to him quickly and all of us getting him down to that helicopter to shelter.

He was still a bit hypothermic and his blood pressure was up and down, but he was stabilising. A night exposed on a mountain in near-freezing temperatures could easily have pushed him over the edge. How much mobility he’d get back, no one was prepared to guess at that early juncture. But I didn’t need the details to know that whatever happened, my father’s temperament would ensure it resulted in a massive pain in the neck for everyone on Lane Station. Paddy Lane unable to get around on his own, call the shots, or run his own land was going to makeNightmare on Elm Streetlook like a freaking fairy tale.

I caught my brother’s eye and we shared a look. He was about to walk through the gates of hell, and judging by his expression, he already knew.

And then there was Luke. From the mountain to the hospital waiting room, he’d barely left my side. Every time I turned around, he was there, announcing his protective presence in big fucking neon capital letters. I thought about telling him to back off a little, and then decided, fuck it. I liked him there. Ineededhim there, and the admission wasn’t lost on my stupid brain.

I knew we needed to talk. I just hadn’t quite figured out the subject matter.

His towering and constant presence at my side hadn’t gone unnoticed by the Miller crowd either, particularly Gil, who’d watched us with the curious amusement of someone who’d had his suspicions confirmed.

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