Page 3 of The Mechanics of Lust

I liked Spencer and I appreciated his good-natured support, but I wasn’t a guy who hooked up on a whim. When Holden and I had been doing our no-strings,friends-with-benefitsthing, I was well aware that Holden occasionally hooked up with other people, and I knew he assumed I’d done too. But the truth was, I hadn’t. He’d been it for me.

My list of conquests was depressingly short and uninteresting. After Holden and I had eliminated the benefits thing from our friendship, no one else had particularly floated my boat. I’d begun to wonder if maybe I was demisexual, or that Holden had simply been it for me and that I’d have to learn to live with the disappointment of no one else turning my crank ever again.

It made a weird kind of sense. Or it had until a year ago when Luke Nichols had driven onto Miller Station looking all gorgeous and dangerous, and my libido had shot to attention, waved a white flag, and mentally shouted in an embarrassingly needy voice,pick me, pick me.

The fucker had been screwing with my attention ever since.

I caught sight of Gil and Holden leaving the dance floor and grabbed my chance to escape. “As riveting as this conversation is, I should check in with the guest of honour. Be seeing you arseholes around.”

They both laughed and Luke raised his beer in salute. “You can count on it now that we’re almost neighbours, right?”

It was all I could do not to tip the bottle’s contents all over that crisp white shirt. Instead, I spun on my heels and went in search of my best friend with culpable homicide on my mind.

Alongside the sound system, I found the man in question, canoodling with a very tipsy Gil. “Gentlemen.”

“Zach! Just the man I wanted to see.” Gil shoved his glass into Holden’s hand and launched himself at me.

I gathered him in my arms a fraction before he veered into the crowded Miller Station table. Holden shot me an apologetic look, pointed to the glass in his hand, and I got the message. Just in case I’d missed it, the bourbon fumes that washed over my face sealed the deal.

“Thank you sooooo much.” Gil kissed my cheek and I glanced helplessly at Holden who merely smiled indulgently at his boyfriend. “It was so sweet of you to help Holden with the surprise party. I can’t believe you kept it secret.”

Neither could I.“It was my pleasure.” I wriggled free of Gil’s bear hug and held him in place with my hands on his shoulders.

He grinned lazily and patted my cheek. “You’re a good man, Zachariah Lane. And a goodfriend. I want you to know that.”

Oh god.“Ah, thanks? You’re a good friend too.” I sent Holden a pleading look, which he dutifully ignored.

“Looking hot there, Zebedee.” Charlie eyed me up and down and I smiled at the nickname. Then she got up from the table and grabbed Gil’s hand. “Come on, Boss number two. Time to dance some of that alcohol off. Let’s see what moves you’ve got.”

Gil beamed. “Awesome! I haven’t danced with a girl since high school. Just keep your hands above my waist.”

Charlie laughed. “Like I’d be interested in your bits and bobs.” She shuddered. “Ew. Just the thought. Come on.”

“Wait.” Holden stepped in, kissing Gil softly on the mouth. “Happy birthday, beautiful. Next dance is mine.”

“Everydance is yours.” Gil chased Holden’s lips. “Every dance that matters.”

Holden cradled Gil’s face and something unspoken passed between them, something that tugged at my heart and all those hopes I’d carried around for more years than I could remember.

Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with me?I blinked back the emotion and turned away, only to find Luke’s bright blue gaze watching me from the dance floor where he and Spencer were swaying to Mariah Carey, Spencer’s leg shoved determinedly between Luke’s, not that Luke seemed to be paying attention. For some reason, the sight pissed me off. They were as bad as each other. From what Gil had let slip, Luke had been making the most of his single life in Wellington, as if I needed another reason to ignore my perplexing attraction to him.

“I’m cutting him off.” Holden’s declaration jolted me from my musings, and I left Luke and Spencer to their dance. Holden indicated Gil’s empty glass before placing it on the station table. “He’s pissed as a newt, and I know it’s his birthday, but the alcohol fucks with his PTSD something shocking. I have standing orders not to let him go to bed like that.”

Tom, Miller Station’s senior shepherd, nodded and turned to Sam, our junior shepherd. “Go grab Gil a zero-alcohol beer. He won’t have a clue what he’s drinking anyway.”

Sam shot to his feet and made a beeline for the bar.

Holden turned back to watch his boyfriend dancing and chuckled affectionately as Gil and Charlie deliberately banged into Luke and Spencer, sending them all flying.

I elbowed Holden. “This was a great idea. Did you see his face when he walked in?”

Holden grinned. “Yeah. Priceless.” He caught my eye. “I couldn’t have done it without you. And Gil meant what he said.”

I raised a brow.

“That you’re a good man. And that he thinks of you as a good friend.”

I couldn’t hold his gaze. “It goes both ways.”

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