Page 35 of The Mechanics of Lust

I reached for his hand and threaded our fingers together. “I can’t imagine.”

He glanced down and smiled. “It wasn’t as simple as who was right or wrong, but with hindsight, I understand a lot more about what he was dealing with. In that way, maybe I had it easier.”

The comment made me blink, but before I could call him on it, he moved on.

“It was the worst fucking time you can imagine, and it totally sucked that we couldn’t find a way to be there for each other. That I couldn’t be there forhim, for her dad. That I... walked away. She’d have been so fucking disappointed in m—” He stopped on a stuttered intake of breath, his expression stricken, those blue eyes wracked with guilt.

Letting go of his hand, I cradled his face, my thumbs brushing his damp cheeks. “You’d both lost your child, the absolute worst thing that can happen to any parent.”

Luke’s eyes locked with mine, but I couldn’t read what he was thinking, so I just fumbled on.

“No one can prepare for that or what it might do to you as a person, let alone a couple. I was an idiot blaming you for walking out, and I’m sorry. I have no idea what it must feel like to go through something like that.” I paused. “But you and Gil are talking now. More than talking. You’re still friends, and I’d think that’s pretty much a fucking miracle, right? But I think it also reflects the type of men you both are.”

Luke regarded me thoughtfully. “And what type would that be?”

Oh boy.How to answer that one? “Determined, for one.”

He grinned. “You mean stubborn.”

My turn to grin. “Honest.”

He gave a surprised nod.

“And I’m going to go with loyal, even though it flies in the face of what I’ve thought about you in the past. But I was wrong. And if I’d taken the time to think with more than my dick, I might’ve worked it out for myself.”

His brows popped. “How so?”

“Because you came back. You followed him here to talk about Callie and what happened, knowing he might’ve turned you away. Because you kept trying, kept that connection for both your sakes in the face of Holden, and your impending divorce, and your own grief. And Gil did the same.”

Luke’s gentle eyes studied me for a second, like I’d surprised him. Then he leaned in and took my mouth in the sweetest of kisses. “Thank you. If you’d asked me a year ago, I wouldn’t have dreamed Gil and I would be where we are now... oryouand I, for that matter.” He ran a finger down my forehead and nose to linger on my lips.

I pulled back a little and asked the question hanging on my tongue. “Do you think there’s a part of you that’s still in love with him?”

He blinked. “Am I—” He hesitated, regarding me intently, then he finished, “No, Zach. No, I’m not in love with Gil anymore. I haven’t been for a long time. When I see him with Holden, it feels... right, as crazy as that sounds. They suit each other. They’re good for each other. Maybe I’m a little sad for myself at the fact we fucked up something that had potential, but I’m ready to find my own path.”

The level of relief I felt at his words was... troubling. Luke and I had fucked, nothing more. His feelings about Gil were his to deal with. They had no bearing on me. I felt for his loss, for the pain he’d gone through, but that was only human, right?

I took a deep breath and backed my feelings way the hell out of trouble. “Okay, well, since you both annoyingly insist on taking equal responsibility for your marriage falling apart, I guess it’s time for me to back the fuck out of other people’s business.”

He grinned. “Annoyingly?”

I rolled my eyes, figuring I owed him some kind of explanation. “I know I’ve hardly been the poster child for seeing your side of things.”

Luke gave a tiny snort of amusement.

“Butin my defence, the timing of our first meeting was pretty damn abysmal. I was still wrapping my head around Holden and Gil being...together.I wasn’t exactly in a generous mood, and you were a convenient target. And then—” I waved a hand between us. “—there was all this.”

He smirked. “Allthis?”

I leaned closer and cupped his soft dick. “Yes,this.” I gave him a squeeze and he groaned and drew me flush.

“Can you be a little more specific?” He rubbed our noses together.

“This,” I repeated, nipping at his lower lip. “You.Us.” I pressed my firming dick alongside his.“This thing between us. This weird energy.”

“Oh.” He kissed me long and slow; his hand sliding down to cup my arse and draw me even closer. “You mean the fact I’ve wanted to strip you naked and suck your brains out of your cock every time I’ve laid eyes on you this last year?”

I snorted and hooked his leg over my thigh so I could reach into his crease. “Yes, an excellent example. And also... I think you just did that, by the way.”

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