Page 100 of The Science of Attraction

“I think it’s time you left us,” my mother instructed the old shepherd, and after a quick look between us, Marty left the kitchen without another word.

I’d never seen my father so furious. “I did n-n-not p-put?—”

“Stop, Dad. You’ve had your turn. In fact, you’ve had decades of it beingyourturn. Now it’s mine and you’re going to listen.”

My father sat slack-jawed, blinking angrily up at me like I was some stranger he’d never met. But I was done feeling sorry for him. I glanced at my mother, half expecting to see disappointment in her eyes, but all she did was nod.

All right then.I shook my head at my father’s obvious incredulity. “You think having a bisexual or gay son is embarrassing? At least Zach and I treat people right. Because let me tell you, after your behaviour this last couple of years, some days I’m ashamed to be your son.Ashamed.”

My father visibly jolted in his seat.

I pressed on, pretty sure I wouldn’t be given the chance to say any of this again. “I know you don’t want to admit it, but youoweMiller Station, Holden and Gil, and Zach and Luke, and Em. The whole Mackenzie knows it, and yet you can’t find it in you to thank any of them properly. Or me, or Mum, for that matter. But you can find plenty to criticise, can’t you?”

My father’s narrowed gaze flicked to my mother, but her face was a mask as she watched on calmly, offering no clue as to what she was thinking. He licked his lips and turned back around, looking more uncertain than ever, his sluggish hand trembling on the table.

Zach elbowed me gently, his voice surprisingly gentle as he addressed our father. “The stroke wasn’t your fault, Dad. No one is saying that. But Jules is right. By going up the hill on your own that day, you put the running of this station at risk and the lives of both your sons, and Luke. But when Jules needed help, it only took a phone call and someone from Miller Station always came.”

My father squirmed. “Didn’t n-n-need th-their help.”

Oh, hell no.“Wedidneed their help,” I snapped.. “And we needed Zach’s.Ineeded him.Youneeded him.The teamneeded him. And we needed every one of the Miller shepherds who randomly turned up to offer their time, sometimes on their days off.”

My father’s gaze slid sideways. “Soyousay.”

“Damn right, I say. I was running this place—Iamrunning this place.”

Dad glared back at me, but I still wasn’t done. “I bet Mum never told you she helped out in the woolshed running errands and clearing the fleeces while you were in hospital.”

Paddy’s gaze jerked to his wife’s arthritic and misshapen knuckles. “But...”

She huffed. “It’s my station too, Paddy, or have you forgotten we’re supposed to be a team? I sank my time and money into this land as well. Besides, it was only light work. I wanted to help.”

Paddy gnawed on his lip but said nothing.

Zach smiled at our mother. “The gang said she’d make a good classer. She has the eye. I worked alongside her myself.”

Norma beamed. “Thank you, Zach.”

“But it wasn’t just the station people helped with. Em came a couple of times a week to help in the house. And Zach and Luke made sure Mum made it to Christchurch to visit you when I couldn’t get away. Zach went to doctor appointments, and Luke even flew us over for that speech therapy appointment you didn’t want Mum to miss.”

My father seemed to grow smaller in his seat.

I shook my head. “Jesus Christ, Dad, what did you think was happening while you were in hospital? That I was somehow magically doingmyjobandyours? That I was running contractors, doing the accounts, dealing with muster and shearing, and organising all the house alterations needed to make life easier for you?”

That made him look up.

“And that I was somehow managing all that while driving back and forth to Christchurch every week? Did you think Mum was just sitting around twiddling her fingers, idly passing time as she waited for you to come home?Allhands were on deck Dad.Allof them.”

My father flushed a colour I hadn’t seen on him very often and stared at his hands.

Zach stepped in. “Luke even helped with your bathroom alterations.”

Paddy blinked hard but didn’t look up.

“That’s right,” Zach pressed. “The people who owed you nothing were the ones who stepped up. Because that’s what we do in the Mackenzie, right? That’s whatgoodneighbours do. And being gay has fuck all to do with it. You don’t have to like my or Jules’ sexuality, but you could at least show a bit of gratitude and respect to the people who saved this station’s arse when it needed it.”

My father continued to stare at his hands.

I sighed and knelt beside him, softening my tone. “Come on, Dad. I grew up knowing you were a difficult bastard but a fair one, and I loved you. But when you pushed Zach away just because he was gay, leaving him no option but to move out if he was ever going to be true to himself, I realised then that I have no idea who you are at all, and neither do the people who work for you. Some of them thought about leaving as well that day.”

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