Page 75 of The Science of Attraction

He winced, looking slightly panicked, and then he started to ramble, “Well, yes? Is the idea that bad? I mean, if I’m kicked out or leave, it’s likely I’ll have accommodation wherever I go. We’d want to be sure we were solid and had a real chance, of course. And you’d have lots to think about with your business and stuff. And I’d have to make it non-negotiable with my father if I was still at home, and I don’t think—” He came to an abrupt stop. “What?”

I gaped at him, speechless.

And when I didn’t answer he tentatively added, “If it didn’t work, then of course you could just leave. We’d probably never run into each other again. It would be nice and clean.”

“Nice and clean?” I shook my head in disbelief. I already had far too many feelings for this complex man. If I took the ridiculous leap of faith he was suggesting in a few months’ time, I could be seriously hurt.

“You know what I mean.” He sat up and took both my hands, holding them to his chest. The blanket fell from my shoulders, sending a shiver scuttling over my skin. “I know it’s crazy, and it’s a hell of a lot to ask.”

I snorted. “Ya think? And that’s without the added bonus of your father’s unpredictability.”

“I know, I know,” he flustered. “And of course, we’ll have to test the waters first, at a distance. But I don’t want to keep dating you while you’re hundreds of miles away at the end of a phone or talking into a computer screen. I don’t want to learn about you through some agonising drip-feed, brick-by-brick relationship. I want time with you. Maybe it won’t get that far, but I want to put it out there as a possibility. I think I need to know if it’s even an option before we start something serious. And I’m so fucking sorry if it’s the wrong thing to say, or too much, or too soon, or if it scares you, and maybe it’s all of those things. Hell, it scares the shit out of me too.”

Was he serious?One look in his eyes and I found my answer. A resounding yes.

“Jesus Christ.” I collapsed back onto the blanket with my hand over my face, bewildered at why I wasn’t already running for the hills, or at least debating how fucking ridiculous the whole idea was. How completely batshit.

And it was.

But none of those entirely sensible arguments swirling in my brain was doing a damn thing to suppress the elation surging past all that fear in my heart, because Jules was right. Everything he felt, I felt it too.

“Okay,” I finally managed, although it came out as more of a squeak than an actual word.

“Okay?” He landed beside me, pulling my hand away from my face so I could see his stupid, wonderful smile. “Okay, what? Are you saying it’s a good idea?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I rolled into his arms. “No. It’s an absolutely outrageous idea for a new relationship. It has no sound basis and it will likely end in nothing but heartache for both of us.”

His smile faltered. “Oh... right, sorry?—”

“But it’s maybe the very best idea foryou and me.” I cradled his face and stared deep into his eyes. “We’re not justanyrelationship, Jules. We’reus. Unique. With a unique set of circumstances. So it’s maybe not as crazy as it sounds, and yes, it’s on the table. But there’s a ton of stuff to consider outside of your father, my business for one. I’m a long way from a decent airport out here.”

“I know.” He frowned. “And I don’t want whatever we do to have an impact on your work.”

I shook my head and kissed him soundly. “Of course it will have an impact. The same as your whole future on the station and with your father is going to be impacted as well. But if we’re going to try this, then we plan it together and we do it together, all in, no martyrs, all right?”

He studied me for a moment then nodded. “Agreed. No martyrs.”

I leaned in and kissed him, drawing it out, wanting him to feel how very on board I was with his idea. “And yes, it scares the shit out of me. Moving here to see if we work? Damn, that’s big, Jules. And then there’s my sister and nephew to consider as well. When the time comes, we’ll need to be sure.”

“I know.” He ran a thumb over my lower lip. “But if Dad boots me off the station, there is a second option I want to put out there. I could come downyourway for a while. Grab a flat. Get a job. Maybe go back to uni. I don’t know. All I know is I want to try this with you, however it works best.”

We locked eyes and a shiver ran through me. “Yeah, I want that too.” I pulled him on top and we made out lazily until a thin veil of cloud moved across the stars and the embers began to cool in the firepit.

Starting to shiver, I wriggled free from Jules’ arms and brushed the hair from his face. “How about we take this to the bedroom? I happen to know your brother has left condoms, lube, and energy bars on our pillows.”

Jules snorted. “They’re such a bunch of muppets.” He helped me to my feet and then doused the embers in the firepit while I folded the chairs and took the blankets and rubbish inside. And when he brought his guitar in and laid it on the couch, I sidled up behind and slid my arms around his waist, my head still reeling from our conversation.

I had to be crazy to seriously consider moving in with this man. And yet somehow, it felt right. It felt... inevitable. All except for the part where there were a million moving pieces outside of our control and every single one had the potential to fuck the whole thing up.

CHAPTERNINETEEN

Liam

We stood rocking togetherin the quiet silence of the cottage for what seemed like hours. The heat from the dwindling fire was enough to warm our cooling bodies, its glow painting a burnt-umber edge to Jules’ dark hair.

As we stood there swaying, I wondered if Jules was pondering the same question as me. Did we have what it took to make it against the odds? Maybe, with it all now out on the table between us, he was reconsidering that rash invitation. I wouldn’t have blamed him.

But like he heard my thoughts, he suddenly turned in my arms and kissed me, and the certitude in his eyes pushed all those doubts aside.

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