Page 19 of The Science of Attraction

I narrowed my eyes at Zach, but he merely batted his lashes innocently. I knew he’d told Luke I was bi because he’d asked if he could, and I also knew he would never out me. But Gil had an uncanny ability to read minds and he was watching me with a thoughtful expression. Holden was clueless, of course—that went without saying. If it didn’t have four legs and 17-micron wool, it barely registered on the man’s radar. Not that I was averse toallof them knowing—a revelation that jolted me. It was more that the conversation had never come up.

Zach crooked his finger at me and then leaned across the table.

I rolled my eyes and met him halfway.

He whispered, “Is he gay? He looks gay. Tell me he’s gay.”

I groaned and fell back in my chair, shaking my head and pointedly ignoring him. A foot tapped against mine and I ignored that as well. It tapped again, harder, and I bugged my eyes at my brother in warning.

He smiled demurely.

And yes, I was gonna kill him... very, very slowly. I kicked him in the shins and warned, “Zee, will you shut?—”

“Yes, I’m gay.” Liam turned, grinning at the five of us.

Oh God.My cheeks turned nuclear. “I’m so sorry. I apologise for these idiots.” I turned my best shut-the-fuck-up glare on Zach but he was too busy staring at Liam.

“Does Dad know?” Zach’s expression assumed a stricken look, and my heart sank.

Dammit.I’d meant to call Zach but in the busyness of the week, I’d forgotten.

Liam answered without any idea of the reason behind Zach’s enquiry. “Yes, he knows. We’ve had a... moment, I guess you’d call it. It was touch and go, but I’m still here.”

“You mean he—” Zach paused, his head slowly shaking. “—he talked... withyou... about being gay?” He sounded incredulous, but also deeply hurt. Zach had been waiting over a year for our father to show any interest in talking about what happened when Zach came out.

Luke’s arm slipped around Zach’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, baby. You’ll get your chance.”

Liam’s smile wavered as the puzzle pieces fell into place. “Hey, Zach, don’t get me wrong. To say wetalkedwould be stretching the truth by a long way. It was little more than a brief exchange regarding him needing to shift his attitude about being touched by me or I’d be on my way.” He eyed Zach sympathetically. “You’d hardly call it a conversation, although he did tell me his son was gay.”

Zach’s eyes blew wide. “He... told you?” His gaze jerked to Luke, then back to Liam, and he shook his head. “Yeah, I can just imagine what he said.”

Liam stretched a hand across the table and covered Zach’s. “It was nothing like that. He was actually very matter of fact. Just told me that Zach, his son, was gay. Like he was offering it as some kind of bridge between us.”

Zach frowned and looked sideways to Luke who leaned in and gently kissed his cheek. Then he slumped in his chair. “I have no idea what to do with that, but thanks for telling me. I know it’s stupid, but I keep hoping, you know? Then I tell myself I’m crazy for thinking he’ll ever change. And even though I’ve been back and forth to the station while Dad was in hospital, now that he’s returned, I feel uncomfortable again, unwelcome, and it’s almost worse than it was before because of what happened?—”

“You’re always welcome, Zee,” I interrupted. “And Mum would agree. Don’t let the bastard scare you off. I don’t give a damn whathethinks.Iwant my brother back.”

Zach’s smile never reached his eyes. “But it’s not quite that easy, is it?” He blew out a long sigh. “After what we went through on the mountain to get him out safely—if that wasn’t enough to make him rethink, then...” The pain on his face was so raw I wanted to pull him into my arms.

Luke beat me to it, and as Zach melted into his boyfriend’s embrace, I felt a surge of gratitude that they’d found each other. And I wondered what that felt like to have someone beside you to share your life, and at your back when you needed support, or love, or just a fucking hug at the end of a long day. What it felt like to not have to be the steady older son, the next in line, the reliable legacy.

I knew Zach saw me as the strong one, but that was so far from the truth it wasn’t even in the same universe. It was Zach who was the stronger one, not me. I’d been nothing but a coward most of my life, bowing to my father’s demands while he’d been the one to field most of the criticism, and in the end, the one to state his truth and put his future on the line. The one with the courage to finally walk away and claim his life.

Thatwas real strength.

“I’m sorry about what happened when you came out,” Liam said softly when Zach finally wriggled free of Luke’s bearish hold. “It sucks. I was fourteen when I came out, and although my mum was okay with it, my dad didn’t know what to make of it all. There were a lot of long silences, and he could barely look at me. He mellowed a lot over the next couple of years, and things went back to being... okay. But we never really talked about what happened, which makes it hard to move on. When my mum died, he moved right up north, and he’s kind of been on the fringes of my life ever since. He makes an effort with my nephew, but yeah, it sucks.”

“I’m sorry,” Zach said quietly.

Liam shrugged. “Don’t be. He was never gonna win father of the year even when he thought I was straight.”

Silence fell and I realised the conversation had carried around the table.

Tennyson slid his chair back, got to his feet, and gently squeezed Liam’s shoulder. “Right, I think it’s time we got this celebration under way. The next round of drinks is on Lane Station, right, Boss?” He raised an eyebrow my way and I grinned.

“Absolutely. And likely the next few as well.”

Everybody cheered, and Ten threw a pen to Stuart who snatched it mid-flight. “You’re on food orders, son.”

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