He returned my smile. “You don’t say.”
My cheeks warmed under his scrutiny. “You know, I haven’t spoken about this in a long time. In fact, other than Matt, most people around here know nothing about my family, and I’ve zero idea why I’m telling you about them now. Please accept my apologies. You didn’t come here to listen to me ramble on about my personal dramas.”
Terry’s gaze softened. “I’m finding it pretty helpful, to be honest. I have a few dramas of my own.”
“You find my teenage angst helpful?” I outright laughed. “Boy, you must be really short on alternatives.”
Terry’s gaze slid to Miller. “That’s probably not too far from the truth.”
His words gave me pause. “Well, if my experience can help in any way, I’ll not only be honoured but also astounded.”
His gaze whipped back to mine and we stayed that way a moment, his expression serious like he was debating his options. Finally, he said, “You really don’t want to hear about my problems.”
I folded my arms and returned his stare. “Why not? If nothing else, it’ll make me feel less of a dick for offloading onto you.”
He snorted. “Fair enough, but don’t say you weren’t warned. Suffice to say my daughter would tell you that she has the exact opposite problem with me that you had with your parents.Overlyinvolved in her life;unwillingto let go;over-protective;and let’s not forget my all-time favourite—suffocating. The worst part is, she’s probably right.”
I raised a brow. “She’s fourteen. Isn’t thinking your parents are the worst ever just par for the course?”
Terry’s grimace told me he thought otherwise. “Maybe. But Hannah’s not like other kids her age. Those weren’t barbs thrown in anger. They were considered criticisms, and not without merit,” he admitted, unable to hide the lash of pain behind his eyes.
“How so?” I found myself really wanting to understand.
Terry sighed. “I don’t want to treat Hannah differently because she lives with a disability, but the truth is that I probably do without even being aware of it. It’s hard not to. Keeping her health on track has been an uphill battle since she was diagnosed. I’ve had to make some difficult decisions about her treatments—some she didn’t want at the time when she was too young to understand. But I’m her dad. Making the hard choices while taking it on the chin from your kid is part of the job, right? You do what you do to make sure they have the best possible chance in life.”
“I think you’re asking the wrong person about that,” I answered feebly. “I didn’t exactly have the best examples.”
He winced. “Of course. Sorry. But my point is that Hannah’s not a child anymore. She has plans for her future, and in four years she’ll be leaving home for good. She wants—no, shedeservesa say right now in how best to make the future happen. Sounds easy if you say it fast, but learning when and how far to start taking my hands off the reins is—” He hesitated, looking miserable. “Fuck, who am I kidding? It scares the living shit out of me.”
I searched for the right thing to say, but it wasn’t like I knew a damn thing about being a real parent, except maybe hownotto do it. “I can’t imagine how hard that must be,” I offered weakly,expecting an eye-roll at the generic response, but Terry didn’t seem to mind. “Is that why you’re here?”
Terry gave a derisive snort and scooped Miller up and into his arms. “You might say that.” He tried to give Miller a smoochy hug but the squirming puppy wasn’t having a bar of it and Terry ended up returning him to the floor. “Hannah’s been offered a scholarship to attend The Nolan Academy of Performing Arts next year in Wellington. It’s a huge deal. Ninety per cent of the students are able-bodied, but they have a limited number of enrolments for kids living with disabilities who have a proven track record in the arts. It’s an amazing opportunity. A once-in-a-lifetime break.” Terry’s enthusiasm sounded just a little forced. “The programme is geared toward kids looking to be performers; those who want to teach in the area; and those hoping to use the performing arts in therapeutic practice, like Judah does. He’s Hannah’s dance teacher, mentor, and also a very good friend of mine.”
“Sounds like Hannah is a pretty special teen,” I observed.
“She is,” Terry readily agreed. “We actually visited the school last week and it certainly lived up to the hype.” He sounded more and more miserable with every word. “Hannah is beside herself with excitement at the idea of attending, whereas I feel like I’m riding a speeding train toward a crash with no way to get off.”
“Wow.” I watched him closely. “So this is where the dad-making-the-tough-choices bit comes in, I’m guessing?”
He sighed. “Or maybe just the idiot dad ruining his daughter’s life, take your pick. Anyway, nothing is decided yet, but the trip down here is supposed to upskill Hannah and Gabby to better prepare her for managing on her own, regardless.”
Surprised, I said, “On her own? You wouldn’t be moving to Wellington with her?”
Terry pulled a face. “Aside from the fact I have a business to keep running so Hannah can even attend the damn place sincethe scholarship doesn’t cover everything, I would also need to rent something myself, find a job, and risk losing everything I’ve built in Painted Bay.”
I felt sorry for the guy. “Okay, that’s a lot. I get why it’s such a hard decision.”
His gaze slipped sideways. “Yeah, but that’s not the real reason it’s so hard.”
I waited.
“The scholarship actually covers dormitory accommodation, andthat’swhere Hannah wants to stay. She’s determined to live there andnotwith me, only coming home during school breaks. She doesn’t want me moving down even for just a year. She doesn’t want me being a ‘helicopter parent.’”
I winced. “Ouch. But on the plus side, wouldn’t that mean you might not have to uproot yourself?” I knew I’d said the wrong thing when he visibly bristled. I raised my hands. “Sorry. Just ignore me. I know nothing about kids.”
His shoulders relaxed and he shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. You put your finger on the crux of the problem. I keep asking myself, if Hannah didn’t have JIA, would I be having all these doubts? Kids even younger than Hannah go to boarding schools all the time.” His eyes looked suspiciously shiny.
“That’s true,” I agreed. “But the fact is, Hannahdoeshave a major health issue that you can’t just ignore.”