Page 29 of The Geography of Happiness

Terry’s gaze shifted to his lap where his hands sat folded. “It must seem nuts to you that I’m still so vague about this shit at the ripe old age of thirty.”

“There’s no rules about coming out,” I reminded him, and he nodded.

“It’s not that I’m hiding in the closet.” He looked up, those blue eyes dancing on and off my face, checking my reaction. “It’s more that I’ve never felt strongly enough about anyone for it to even be an issue.” He flushed a deep pink, telling me that maybe that statement wasn’t entirely true. Then he refocused on his hands. “I like women. Sex with Amber, Hannah’s mother, wasn’t mind-blowing or anything, but it was good. As for men?” His blush deepened and he looked away. “I find women and men attractive, but it takes me a while, you know—” He seemed to be willing me to understand. “—with men or women. I don’t...connectin that way, not straight off.” He snorted at the pun. “All of which means I’m not really a hookup kind of guy, either.”

“Do you... you know?” I made the universal gesture for jerking off and watched his shocked gaze snap to meet mine.

Then he snorted. “Um,yes. But I’m not sure how that’s relevant.”

I raised my hands. “It’s info you can use in thinking about where you feel comfortable. Questions like, how often and what tickles up your interest might be helpful to ponder. Do you fantasise? Do you not care about it much either way? Maybe you hardly ever think about it? Maybe you obsess? There’s no right or wrong answer just... information.”

Terry eyeballed me. “Okay, but you first.”

I blinked. I hadn’t seen that coming but... fair enough. “Okay, well, I’m an avid proponent of my right hand, although I am pretty ambidextrous so... lucky me. Use it or lose it, I always say. I have a rich fantasy life, which includes a recent handsome addition—” I shot him a wink and watched the red creep up his neck. “—and I once ran out of lube after a week’s fishing in the back blocks on my own. Had to use cooking oil.”

Terry threw his head back and laughed hilariously, and I watched him with my own smile running from ear to ear. He looked downright glorious. The most relaxed and natural I’d seen him so far. When he finally calmed down and wiped the tears from his eyes, he was able to choke out, “Oh. My. God. I’m still stuck on the fact you even packed lube to go fishing on your own. Who does that?”

I sniffed snootily. “Who doesn’t?”

He laughed again. “Me, that’s who. And I’ll never be able to pack for fishing again without thinking of that gem. Or cook with oil for that matter.”

I tipped a non-existent hat his direction. “You’re welcome. I’m delighted that I can add to your fantasy life as well.”

Terry shook his head. “You’re incorrigible.”

“I try. Now it’s your turn.” I waited.

The corner of his mouth twitched nervously, but he held my gaze and didn’t look away. “All right, Mister Sex Therapist—” He eyed me mockingly. “—although I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but I do in fact... jerk off. Clearly not as much asyouor most guys, likely, but... I do enjoy it. And yes, I fantasise about actual people I’ve found relatively sexually attractive in the past, which is a short list, just so we’re clear. Fantasy isn’t a problem. It’s feeling any physical attraction to new people that takes time to... percolate—”He hesitated, locking eyes. “—well,mostlyit takes time.” His mouth quirked up and I quashed the urge to fist-pump the air.

So, hewasattracted to me. I tucked that little nugget away for another time.

“Don’t look so smug.” Terry watched me with a smirk. Then his brows crunched like he was thinking hard and that lower lip got another workout. “But, in the spirit of full disclosure, there wasoneperson.”

“One person what?” I puzzled.

“When I said there hadn’t been anyone I felt strongly about, it wasn’t quite true. There wasoneperson.”

Well, shit.A spark of envy ignited somewhere it shouldn’t, and I waited him out.

“But since anything happening between us was a no-go, he never even knew how I felt.” He ran both hands down his thighs. “By the time I realised I had deeper feelings, he was already taken by someone else.”

He?My stomach did a ridiculous flip-flop. “Would you have come out if he’d returned your feelings?”

There was no hesitation before he answered, “Yes. And the only reason I haven’t come out since then is because he’s a friend and I don’t know how to tell him without risking he’ll look back and see the truth.”

Judah.It had to be. Theverygood friend Terry had mentioned once before. I raised a brow. “Would it be Judah? The dance teacher. Is he the one you fell for?”

The answer was right there in Terry’s startled look. Then he smiled. “Yeah. He’s the reason we’re even down here. Most annoying man on the planet.” There was unmistakable affection in his voice. “Jesus, am I really that transparent?” His eyes blew wide. “Do you thinkheknows and just isn’t saying anything?”

I ignored the needling jealousy worming its way through my gut because I was a grown man who knew better, right? I didn’t even know Terry, not really. I focused on his question instead, because although I’d picked up on his not-so-straight signals,Terry wasn’t in his comfort zone in the Mackenzie. He was... freer to be who he was.

“Probably not,” I decided. “Especially if they still think you’re straight. I think you let your guard down here, and maybe with me.”

Terry eyeballed me. “Yeah, and exactly why is that do you think?”

I threw my hands up. “Hell, don’t look at me. I asked myself the same thing yesterday. It’s not like I go telling people my life story on a whim, either.”

We stared at each other as the cottage fell silent around us.

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