Page 45 of The Geography of Happiness

He sighed. “I’m fucking this up. I only mean that you’ve done this a million times.”

“Done what, exactly?” I pressed, pretty sure I knew what was coming but wanting to hear the words.

“This.” He waved a hand between us. “Chatting people up, drawing them in, making them like you. Until the next person comes along.”

“What the hell?” I slammed my palm on the steering wheel making him jump. “I thought I’d made it clear over the last couple of days that what you and I have been doing isnotstandard practice for me. I don’t care what other people say. They don’t know me. Not really. I don’t open up about my childhood to people. I don’t put myself out there. I don’t chase people. I also don’t obsess about every tiny touch or a single kiss with people who I’m just looking at for casual sex. So, talking the way we’ve been doing is absolutelynotfamiliar territory for me.”

Terry’s brow furrowed, his eyes wide as saucers.

Is there no one who sees me as anything more than a one-night wonder?

“But I’m not—” he began haltingly. “We’re not—I don’t even live here. You can’t possibly?—”

I didn’t let him finish, needing to get it all out first. “In case I haven’t been crystal clear enough, let me rectify that right now.”I took his hand. “I like you, Terry. I like you in a way that makes me want to spend time with you and talk with you and find out all there is to know about you. Would I like to take you to bed? Hell yeah, I would. But for the first time in my life, that’s not in the forefront of my thinking. I just... like you. Do with that information as you wish.”

Terry stared at me for a long moment, then his gaze slid to the side, tracking the rolling tussock to the mountains beyond. The cab fell quiet, draped in dull light from a clouded sky heavy with rain as I waited him out. Waited for whatever was coming. Waited and wondered why the hell I cared so much about what that might be. His short and simple response, when it came, surprised me.

“I like you too.”

I huffed in amusement. “So, we like each other. And the world hasn’t come to an end. Go figure.”

Terry snorted and turned in his seat, putting his back against the door. “I don’t know about the rest of it.” His blue eyes shone with an emotion I couldn’t name. “I haven’t got past the shock of you yet.” He smiled and shook his head. “I’m sorry for what I said, but this is all new to me.”

“It’s new for me too,” I reminded him, watching the truth of that sink into his eyes.

He blew a long sigh. “Yeah, I think I finally get that.”

I squeezed his hand. “Good. Now can I ask you something that you absolutely don’t have to answer?”

He shrugged. “Sure.”

“Were you in love with Amber?”

He frowned at the question but answered without hesitation. “No. Amber and I were good friends who kind of fell into something as much from curiosity as anything else. She said she wanted her first time to be with someone she trusted, and I stupidly agreed to be that person. I wasn’t a virgin but I wasn’tfar from it. We used protection and I don’t think either of us expected it to be more than a one-time thing, but six months later she was pregnant.”

I blew a low whistle.

He huffed. “I know, right? Stupid kids. She didn’t find out until she was almost four months gone, and then she didn’t want to terminate, even though her parents pushed for it. They weren’t exactly supportive.”

“How about you?” I ran my thumb over the back of his hand.

He shrugged. “I was sixteen. I said I’d go along with whatever she decided. I knewthatmyparents would have my back either way. When Amber decided to keep the baby, she moved in with us and my mum and dad treated her like she was their own.”

“Wow.” And I thought I’d had it tough as a teenager. “I’m glad your parents were there for you.”

Terry stared down at our joined hands. “Yeah, they were good, although it came with its own set of problems. My parents are what you’d call a couple of life’s fixers. But there were no easy solutions for us, especially when Hannah was diagnosed and Amber left. But that didn’t stop my parents offering solutions, of course.Many,many,solutions and long drawn-out conversations I’d rather forget.”

I flinched. “Oh boy.”

He huffed, “Exactly. It caused a lot of friction. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents to bits and I’d have been lost without their help, but I learned very quickly it wasn’t a good idea to include them in all Hannah’s medical appointments or share every detail of our lives.”

“It must’ve been so hard for you both. YouandHannah.” I lifted his hand to my lips and he watched with wide eyes as I gently kissed the back, then a tiny smile tugged at his lips.

“It was,” he said, following our hands back down to the console between us. “There were many times when I didn’tblame Amber for hightailing it out of there the minute she could, maybe even envied her freedom a little if I’m being brutally honest. But most of the time I stuck with resenting the shit out of her selfish little heart and cursing her to hell and back for the tough road she’d left us to navigate on our own.”

“Did Amber leave because of Hannah’s diagnosis?”

He shrugged. “Partly, but to be fair, it had been coming for a while. Amber and my relationship, such as it was, began falling apart the minute Hannah was born, and we quickly became little more than flatmates. We slept in the same bed but that was about it. The diagnosis was just the final straw. When Amber left, I was too busy keeping my head above water on a daily basis to even think about sex or dating. To be brutally honest, I didn’t even miss it. The company, yes. The rest didn’t seem to matter.”

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