Page 85 of The Geography of Happiness

And I’d been shut down.

Only then did I realise just how much I’d wanted him to agree to try and meet up again, and when Zach had driven them away, I’d walked through my empty home, fuming at the fact I felt lonely for the first goddamn time in my life, and it was all Terry bloody O’Connor’s fault.

Before he arrived in Oakwood, I’d been perfectly happy in my tidy little non-relationship world. But he was trouble from the time I’d seen him. Everything about the man piqued my interest, and as I’d stormed around my house that day, the only tangible thing left of that whole confusing week was Miller. Every time I looked at Miller, I saw Terry, and rather than put me off, it meant there was no way on earth that dog was moving anywhere except into my house.

End of story.

And if I’d happened to consider changing the poor animal’s name to Terry so that I could vent and tell him exactly what I thought about his little friendship plan, it was nobody’s business but my own. Then again, it wasn’t too late.

“Earth to Spencer?”

I looked up to find Terry’s blue eyes fixed on mine, a warm smile on his face. And just like that, everything was all right. “Sorry. It’s been a bit of a day is all.”

“Then you should stop talking to me and go relax.”

I bristled at the very idea and then at him for having the audacity to suggest it. “Iamrelaxing. Talking toyourelaxes me. Unlessyoudon’t have time, of course. I’d hate to hold you up.”

“So snappy.” Terry’s lips quirked up like he’d got what he hoped for, the little minx. Then his smile widened. “Judah’s dropping by for dinner, but yes, I have time.”

Judah.Of course.My stomach clenched. The man who got to share in Terry’s daily life, be invited to dinner, listen to his secrets, and generally be there for him. It didn’t matter that Judah was married and to all accounts madly in love with his husband, he was the one there with Terry and I wasn’t. Was I jealous? Hell fucking yeah, I was.

Something I kept very carefully hidden from Terry.

Terry’s expression sobered. “You do realise that we’ve talked almost every night since I got back?”

Here we go.“Is that a problem?”

Terry let out a slow breath and wriggled in his seat. “No, it’s not aproblemas such. I love talking with you, you know that. But maybe that’s an issue in itself. I worry that I’m setting myself up for a fall. Encouraging something that’s maybe not... healthy... for either of us.”

I shrugged. “Not healthy? This is a friendship, remember? Friends talk.”

He stared back at me, unblinking. “Is that really all that’s happening here?” He shot me a look that said we both knew the answer, then he sighed and changed the subject. “Did your bad day have anything to do with Derek’s visit? You guys still getting along?”

I glanced toward the partially closed bedroom door and lowered my voice. “We’re fine. He’s still angry, grieving too, I guess, but he’s talking, which is a good thing. I just hate to see him in pain. And he’s cooking endlessly. All. The. Time. He’s in the kitchen right now making beef Wellington for dinner, for fuck’s sake. I’ve put on a kilo in three days. I didn’t even know hecouldcook. Some brother I am. The other two arrive tomorrow, God help me. Thank Christ it’s only for three days. I’m not sureI can stand my house full of people for much longer, even if they are my brothers. I don’t know what the hell decided them to join Derek down here now, but it’s giving me hives.”

Terry snorted. “How long since you’ve all been together?”

I had to think. “I believe it was Todd’s wedding, five years ago.”

“Wow.”

“I know,” I said guiltily. “I don’t know why we haven’t done something sooner.”

“Yes you do,” he threw back. “Besides, they’re not kids anymore. They’re just as capable of picking up the phone as you are.”

I groaned, remembering him saying a similar thing not that long ago. It didn’t sit any better the second time around because I knew thatIwas the reason my brothers didn’t call. I’d left them behind to build a life of my own and they hadn’t forgiven me.

Terry broke the silence. “Your mum’s not coming then, I take it?”

I shot him a blank look. “What do you think?”

He huffed. “I had to ask.”

I sighed. “Derek rang her last week and she said all the right things, of course, but no one’s heard a peep from her since.” I tried not to sound too pissy and failed abysmally. “Surprise, surprise.”

Terry’s eyes grew soft on mine. “I’m sorry, Spencer.”

I waved it off. “Don’t be. It’s not like any of us expected her to actually show up for us, right?”

---