Page 23 of The Geography of Happiness

The offer was tempting, not least for the change of scenery and excellent addition to my resume. It helped that Matt had been surprisingly supportive of the idea. Then again, he wasn’t aware that I had doubts about ever returning once I was gone. As much as I loved the Mackenzie and the clinic, lately I’d found myself circling the same old questions again and again. Did I really want to spend the next ten, twenty, thirty years in the small town of Oakwood, with its singular movie theatre, a handful of eating establishments, zero clubs, and the increasingly suffocating dating scene?

I slid the letter back on the desk and spun my chair around to stare out the window. A bluebird Mackenzie sky stared right back at me, just a few cotton-wool clouds drifting east toward Burke’s Pass.

It couldn’t hurt to shake things up a bit, right? And maybe it was time. As Sonja had reminded me, Iwasforty-two. A new job with new people and a whole new country to explore might be exactly what I needed. Maybe I’d come back. Maybe I wouldn’t. That’s what having no ties and no relationship to considermeant. I didn’t need anyone’s permission or approval. I could do exactly what I liked. What was the point of being single if I didn’t use it to my advantage?

The idea skittered through my belly like a frisky snake.

Jesus. Was I seriously considering moving to South Australia?

I swung back to my desk and stared once more at the letter.

Yes. Apparently, I was.

I consulted my calendar, pulled my keyboard closer, and emailed the head of department, giving him some dates in early December that could work for me to visit. Then I ignored the ongoing fluttering in my belly and pressed send before I could second-guess myself. That done, I headed for my truck, wondering if I’d lost my fucking mind.

CHAPTER FIVE

Terry

By the timethe sun began to dip over the sawtooth ranges on the western side of the valley, I’d finished my book and started on another. Goosebumps popped up my arm as the lengthening shadows were accompanied by a lick of cooler air, so I put my book aside to don a sweater and grab a beer from the fridge. I returned to the deck and stretched out on the low wicker lounge chair to watch the gleaming blush of sunset slide over the lake. And with nothing to think about except plans for dinner, errant thoughts of a certain Spencer Thompson and his velvety voice drifted in to fill the vacuum.

A low-grade warmth filled my belly and I shook my head, not sure what the hell was wrong with me. I couldn’t be crushing on the guy because I didn’t do that shit, likeever.Realising I liked someone in that way was more often than not a belated surprise to all concerned, especially me. I wasn’t exactly what you called highly sexed. Sometimes I wondered if I was sexed at all. Except I knew that wasn’t true. There had been one or two people in my life who’d caught myattentionin that way—but those were hardly standout numbers for someone who’d hit his thirties.

Judah Madden had been one of those. By the time I realised I was growing inconvenient romantic feelings for the guy, he was already my best friend, and then he fell head over heels in love with his soulmate, Morgan. Go figure. And because of that awkward conundrum, Judah still had no idea that my sexuality was... well, whatever it was—a crapshoot or absent most of the time, to be perfectly honest.

I was too worried that if I told him he’d look back and put the pieces together and that would be... well... mortifying, to put it mildly. But the longer I didn’t say anything, the harder it was to tell him and the more he was going to be hurt. So yeah, I was fucking up that side of our friendship big time. Go me.

But Judah had been the first guy I’d ever felt strongly about, the one who answered that nagging question in my brain about if maybe I liked more than just women. But it had taken me a long time to decide if what I thought I felt for him was real or simply because we’d clicked from the minute he returned to Painted Bay and we’d both needed a friend. I didn’t have a lot of those and even fewer I trusted to share my problems with. The connection and sense of belonging that came with someone actually having my back had been confusing as hell. Friendship or more than that, who the hell knew? By the time I figured it out months later, it was too late. Judah and Morgan were an item, and I’d never felt anything remotely close since, or even before if I was honest.

Which meant the idea that I could be attracted to Spencer so quickly was just plain ridiculous. I wasn’t sure that Spencer even qualified as a crush since my libido rarely got above a simmer and I could comfortably go months—read: years—without a warm body in my bed and not miss it. One of the many, many reasons Amber and I hadn’t lasted.

Spencer was a nice guy that I found attractive and happened to feel at ease with. Case closed. That he was alsogay or bi or whatever was nothing more than an interesting wrinkle I needed to ignore. I was away from Painted Bay, in neutral territory free from the usual eagle-eyed blabbermouths, stressed, and vulnerable. Spencer was nothing more than a benign disturbance in my universe, a distraction from the real decisions I was supposed to be making. I needed to get my head out of my arse and focus.

The roar of an engine caught my attention, and I turned to see Zach’s ute heading toward the cottage with Hannah waving madly out the passenger window. Zach pulled up out front and Hannah was out of the vehicle as fast as her elbow crutches allowed. Before she’d even reached the ramp, I was being regaled with the day’s adventures. Gabby, on the other hand, motored past me with barely a glance as she headed to wait by her food bowl.

Hannah made it up the ramp, still talking non-stop, and plonked in the chair opposite to finish telling me all about Gabby’s brilliance, the scenery, how wonderful Zach was, Gil’s scrummy sugar cookies, how she’d met all the shepherds, and how it felt to ride behind Holden on a quad bike.

“And we saw Spencer on the road when we were coming back to the station,” she rattled on.

My ears perked up. “Really?”

“Yes, he was on his way back from seeing a sick horse, and he let me look in his truck. He has everything in there. You should see it, Dad.”

“It was very kind of him to let you take a look,” Zach added.

“And he showed me some photos of a litter of puppies he was off to check as well. They were so cute.”

“I hope you thanked him.”

Hannah rolled her eyes. “Of course I did.” And then she was off once again, listing all the other things they’d done.

My smile grew bigger by the second and my stupid eyes filled at the pure exhilaration on her face. When her monologue finally ran dry and I’d displayed a suitable level of appreciation with all the appropriate questions, I finally got the hug I’d been jonesing for all day, before she disappeared inside to feed Gabby.

Zach watched her go, also wearing a grin from ear to ear. “She’s a great kid.” He took a seat on the top step and leaned back against the post.

“That she is.” My voice ran thick with pride. “Some days, it’s hard to believe she’s only fourteen.”

Zach studied me quietly. “Yeah. She’s got a real maturity about her.”

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