Page 35 of The Geography of Happiness

Gabby did as she was told and once again offered it to Hannah.

“Good girl!” Hannah scruffed the mane of golden hair around Gabby’s neck. “You’re so good. So smart.”

Itwaspretty impressive. “So,passis the new command, I take it?”

Hannah nodded. “We’re teaching her that it means find and give me whatever item follows it. This time it was a towel. But it could be anything. A book. A drink. My phone. An apple. A jersey. Whatever.”

A notch formed between my eyes. “But she can already pick up clothes if you ask her to.” I was confused.

“Yes,” Hannah said in a barely patient tone like she was explaining it to a child. “But I have to point at them and show her exactly what I need. Zach says once she learnsthiscommand, then I can teach her the names of a whole lot of items to add at the end and she’ll be able to go and get them from another room without me even having to be there. Zach wants me to future-proof Gabby’s training by teaching her commands and words that I’m likely to need at some point down the track. Then I can practise and get them perfect before I actually need them, because one day I’mgoing to need her help a lot more.” Her eyes flicked to mine. “We both know that.”

Zach says. Zach wants. I ignored the niggle of irritation at hearing Hannah’s obvious adoration of the man in her tone. It wasn’t Zach I was irritated with; it was the fact that she was growing up and I wasn’t the only person she was turning to for help anymore. Zach was great at what he did, and they worked well together.It’s a gift, not a problem, idiot. Get over yourself.

Besides, Hannah was right. There was no pretending her JIA wasn’t advancing and increasingly restricting her mobility. Watching her stretch awkwardly for her elbow crutches before struggling shakily to her feet said a lot about that change. A year ago, Hannah mostly managed with just her canes around the house, but she was relying on her elbow crutches more and more. And since we’d been in the Mackenzie, I hadn’t seen her use her canes even once.

As much as I tried not to worry about her future, it was hard. Although the biologic meds she was on had slowed the progression of her condition, surgery was still on the cards. But the idea of osteotomies, joint replacements, or—heaven forbid—cervical fusion freaked me the hell out. Thosesolutionsweren’t taken lightly because there was no going back once you started down that path. Fusions couldn’t be unfused, and new joints didn’t last forever.

“Hey, don’t do that.” Hannah pulled my face down so she could kiss me on the cheek. “It is what it is, right, Dad? We do what we can and keep going. That’s what you’ve always taught me. I’ll go get breakfast started.”

I returned a kiss to her hair. “Thanks, sweetie.”

“Don’t be so quick to thank me.” She eyed me pointedly. “While we eat, we’re gonna discuss that dog you found. Miller. It’s a cool name, Dad. Can’t believe you came up with it. Can we please go see him?Please.”

Another chance to see Spencer?My heart ticked up at the thought.

“On one condition.” I narrowed my eyes at my daughter. “We arenottaking him back with us. He’s going to the shelter to find his forever home, understood?”

Hannah flicked me on the nose. “Don’t recall saying anything about taking him home. I just want to see him.”

I sighed. “All right. I’ll check with Spencer, but no promises, okay?”

“Works for me.” Hannah slipped into the hallway and I watched her go, wondering when exactly the little girl I used to know had grown into this charming and smart young teenager.

I’d spent years watching Hannah fight through the pain and tears just to stay on her feet; struggling with the side effects of drugs just to make it through another day; and holding on to every scrap of independence she could. Some days our father-daughter bond almost broke with the weight of the struggle. Other days we worked together like magic.

And yet, somehow, I’d missed the biggest transformation of them all. My little girl was emerging into a young woman and her need for me would continue to dwindle, as it should. The only question left to answer was how to ensure she was still talking to me when it was all done.

I put the toothbrush aside and rinsed my mouth. Then I leaned on the vanity and stared at my sorry reflection in the mirror. Thirty years old and I’d been a dad for fourteen of them. Most days it felt like I’d leap-frogged straight over the free-and-selfish twenties and gone straight to middle age. Crow’s feet in the corners of both eyes, skin that wouldn’t know moisturiser if it fell in a vat of the stuff, and abs that laughed in the face of every gym membership gathering dust in my drawer. Not to mention the occasional grey hairs that began appearing a year ago and had suddenly picked up momentum.

I barely recognised the man in the mirror, fourteen years and a lifetime ago from the teenager he’d once been. And it wasn’t just about the looks. Most of the dreams I’d nurtured as a kid had died a lonely death as well.

“Are you going to get in that shower or not?” Hannah called from the kitchen. “I’m ready to put the toast in.”

“On it.” Enough navel gazing. I flicked the shower mixer all the way around toway too fucking hot but that’s how I like itand stepped under the spray. I was out and halfway dressed when Hannah knocked on the bedroom door.

“Mum wants to talk to you.”

Mum.I couldn’t stop the flinch that came with hearing Hannah use that name for the woman who’d walked out on both of us when Hannah was four years old and newly diagnosed. A few letters a year that slowly dwindled to nothing didn’t make her deserving of the title, and although I’d tried to keep my feelings on the matter hidden from Hannah, I wasn’t at all sure how successful I’d been.

“I could hear you growling from the hall.” Hannah shoved her cell phone into my hand the minute I opened the door. “Play nice.”

Apparently, I hadn’t been very successful at all.

I pushed the door closed and walked over to the window. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself.” Amber sounded relaxed and happy, which only pissed me off further. “Hannah seems to be having a ball down there. I’ve never heard her so excited, especially about next year.”

“Nothing is decided yet,” I snapped, my stomach curling into a knot. “And I’d appreciate you not building her hopes up. You don’t get a say in this, Amber.”

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