Page 37 of The Geography of Happiness

I tried to follow, to apologise again, but when I knocked on the honey-coloured wood, Hannah sent me packing. So instead I sat at the dining table and played with my cold toast, feeling like a shit father.

I was fucking this whole thing up and everyone knew it. Hannah, Judah, even Amber. Trouble was, I didn’t know how to stop the train wreck I could see was coming up fast. If I didn’t get my head out of my arse soon, none of us was going to survive this in one piece.

The worst of it was that I suspected Amber had nailed it when she said it was me who wasn’t ready for Hannah to take up this opportunity, not Hannah, and knowing even she could see it so clearly just made me want to scream. She didn’t have the right to know me that well. It was me who’d held the fort when she’d scarpered. Me who’d been the one to hold Hannah and cry with her when the pain was too crippling to handle. Me who’d given up everything to make sure Hannah had the best chance to reach her full potential in life. And now I was fucking it up.

How to feel like a selfish bastard in one easy lesson.

I’d only managed one bite of my toast when Hannah reappeared fifteen minutes later. She chatted away as if nothing had happened but her mood felt brittle. I was about to try and explain my behaviour again, but she raised her hand.

“Please, can we just leave it, Dad? We’ve got a big day,” she said by way of explanation. “I don’t want Gabby worried.”

I glanced at the retriever and nodded glumly. “Fair enough.”

“Have you asked if I can see Miller?” Hannah pierced me with a look that dared me to risk her ire further. Never said my little girl wasn’t smart.

“I’ll call today,” I promised.

Seemingly satisfied with that, Hannah disappeared into the bathroom to titivate her hair into something more stylish than just the usual ponytail she wore at home. I suspected she might have a little crush on Zach, regardless of the man’s sexuality, and it wasn’t like I could blame her. Zach was a handsome guy. But for all his clean-cut country-boy looks, the shepherd didn’t unbalance me in nearly the same way that Spencer did.

When Zach’s ute pulled in front of the cottage a little before eight thirty, Gabby ran to the window and Hannah yelled for me to tell Zach she wouldn’t be long.

I opened the front door and held up my hand, indicating five minutes.

Zach nodded and cut the engine. Then he slid out of the driver’s seat and wandered around the ute to meet me coming down the path. The early November sun cast a warm glow over my skin, lifting my spirits from the doldrums cast by the morning’s family drama.

“I packed a few goodies for your morning and afternoon tea.” I handed Hannah’s backpack to Zach along with a container full of cheese and crackers and chocolates.

“Awesome. I’ve got a chilly bin in the back. And we’ll need Hannah’s chair today. I want to see how they work with it.”

I ran back to get Hannah’s wheelchair and then watched as Zach stowed the food in the cooler and the chair safely on the bed of the ute. A leggy huntaway eyed me curiously from his cage and I let him sniff the back of my hand. “Hello, boy.”

“This is Jojo.” Zach smiled softly at the dog. “Holden used her on the hill yesterday, so I’m dropping her off at ours on the way past. Hannah and Gabby are going off-piste with me today. I want to see how they work together in and around town—shops, roads, people, cafés, tourists, buses, other dogs, the whole gamut. From the sound of it, Painted Bay is a teeny tiny place and I need to see if their training carries over to a more complicated environment. If anything needs tweaking, I’ll add it to the list, but I also suggest you try and get Hannah and Gabby into Auckland a few times over the next couple of months. It all helps.”

I nodded. “Understood.”

Jojo let out a mournful bellow and I almost jumped out of my skin. “Man, she’s loud.”

Zach laughed. “Yeah, she’s pissed she’s missing out on working the woolshed today. Holden’s brought in some of the mob for a vet check.” He shot me a thoughtful look. “You should wander over if you’ve got nothing else planned. It can be quite entertaining.”

My gaze slid sideways to Jojo and I schooled my expression. “Is that so? Maybe I will.”

The sound of tyres rolling on gravel caught Zach’s attention and he chuckled. “Speak of the devil.”

I followed his gaze to where Spencer’s ute was coming up the drive on its way to the woolshed, no doubt. Just the sight of him waving from the driver’s seat set my heart a thumping.Jesus Christ.What was it about the man?

Before the ute passed, it slowed down, and Spencer called out the driver’s window, “Morning Zach. Terry.” His gaze lingered on mine. “Remember to have some fun today, yeah?” Then he tooted his horn and was gone in a cloud of dust, leaving me red-faced and awkward.

Zach turned to me with surprise written on his face. And did I mention awkward? “Fun, huh? Is there something I’m missing?”

My cheeks blew hot. “He’s just teasing me. Did you hear about the dog I found?”

Zach grinned. “Miller, right? And yes,everyoneknows about Miller.”

I groaned, “Fucking small towns.”

Zach laughed.

“Anyway,” I continued, “I was telling Spencer about not being used to having spare time on my hands, and he suggested I try and have some fun.” I pulled a face and shrugged. “I’m not sure I even know what that means anymore.”

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