Page 54 of The Geography of Happiness

I eyed him sceptically. “I think I’ll be the judge of that. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I took out the English prize in my last year in high school.”

“Oh, did you now?” He gave a sceptical look. “And that would be the Painted Bay High School, I presume? Student body of around fifty, I’m guessing. Fierce competition, no doubt.”

I glared and responded tartly, “There were three hundred students, as it happens. It was a regional school, and I don’t care for the implication.” I poked him in the belly and he jumped, as did Miller on my lap.

“All right. All right. You’re scaring the puppy.” Spencer’s grin was full of mischief, those laughing eyes reeling me in like we both hadn’t just promised to keep things quiet between us.

Miller glanced up and his brow furrowed as if to ask what the deal was. Then he circled my lap and settled back down. I groaned and wiped at the patch of drool on my jeans.

Spencer squeezed my arm. “So, Mister O’Connor of Painted BayRegionalHigh School, what do you think? Are we doing the pen-pal thing?”

I turned to study his face, looking for any indication he was joking, but those dark brown eyes were deadly serious. “Won’t you be too busy with the whole moving-countries thing?”

“Nope. Not for you.” Spencer said, a challenge in his eyes. “And you do realise that nothing is decided yet.”

I shot him a look. “You’re starting to sound like me.”

He huffed at my arched brow and said, “Okay, so it’s mostly decided in my head, but I need to actually see the place first. There’s a lot to consider. And you haven’t answered my question yet, which applies with or without the Adelaide option. Pen pals?”

I groaned, having hoped he’d forgotten.

“Well?” He waited.

Shit. Shit. Shit.It was a bad idea. I knew it was a bad idea. I could feel the glimmer of hope already kindling in my heart.Don’t do it, you idiot. Just go home and let Spencer Thompson drift quietly into a nice memory. A safe memory.

Or not.

“Okay,” I said way too brightly. “Pen pals it is.”

Spencer beamed. “Excellent.”

And then we both fell quiet, like we were trying to convince ourselves we hadn’t just made a huge mistake.

“So, Adelaide, huh?” I commented lamely when the silence became awkward. “Sounds... interesting.” My tone suggested I considered it anything but, and that earned me a raised eyebrow and an amused smirk.

I was sulking. I knew it and Spencer knew it. And I had zero fucking right to be. This was a big opportunity for him, and what I needed was to be excited for his sake, not pouting over the bubble being popped on some impossible fantasy for which he couldn’t be held accountable.

I took a breath, pulled up my big-boy pants, and summoned as much enthusiasm as I could while still avoiding his gaze and watching Miller instead. “How about you fill me in on this job that has you interested enough to leave the Mackenzie? I’m serious. I want to know everything.”

I felt his gaze on me, like he was trying to decide just how genuine I was. Finally then, he settled back against the cage, and while I stroked a sleeping Miller, Spencer talked. He told me about the position, the university, the contract, his experience with students placed in the clinic for their practicums, what his new responsibilities would be, and some of the ground-breaking research he would have the opportunity to be a part of.

By the end, even I had to admit it would be damned hard to walk away from an offer like that. I might not know Spencer that well, but I sure as hell saw the teacher in him, and I imagined students would enjoy working under his guidance. He was skilled at his job, took no shit, but was also friendly and easy-going—a dynamite combination for a teacher.

“When I first talked to Matt, he wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea, but he understood my interest.” Spencer ran a hand over his face and winced. “He doesn’t know that I’m undecided about returning, of course. That little gem might not go down so well. And my indecision means he has to work with a locum for an extended period until I make up my mind. Not the cleanest solution for planning, but I can’t help that. I honestly don’t know what I want.” He glanced my way. “Now maybe more than ever.”

I swallowed hard and ignored the allusion to... whatever the hell he and I had going, which to be fair was a smidge above fuck all at this point.

“Well, it certainly sounds an amazing opportunity,” I admitted, watching Miller twitch in the midst of some exciting doggy dream. I meant what I’d said, but that didn’t stop me feeling flat in a way that made no sense. Still, I plastered on a smile and caught his eye. “You must be excited.”

Spencer’s only response was the appearance of that little notch of concentration between his brows. Finally he said, “Exciting? You know, I’m not sure that’s the right word. It feels more like an opportunity I shouldn’t pass up. Most veterinariansdon’t move around a lot. By the time we finish our training and get a practice established, the idea of starting all over again is pretty daunting, not to mention financially risky. Being offered a chance to step back from the humdrum of daily life and running a business is rare.”

“Humdrum?” I chuckled. “Would that I had the spare time to feel jaded with my life. Parents rarely get that privilege.”

He considered my words. “You’re right. Itisa privilege. Maybe that’s part of the reason I feel like I shouldn’t waste the opportunity.”

“Hey.” I pinched him lightly on the waist. “Don’t go feeling sorry for us parents. I don’t feel sorry for you. Everyone haschoices regardless of where they find themselves. I wouldn’t change a thing about my journey so far. You can have a full life with or without kids. Just because I don’t choose to pursue a career right now doesn’t mean I’m stifled as a person or resentful or undeveloped. Hannah has taught me more about myself, my limits and capabilities and what’s important in life, than any job I might’ve done. Plenty of people find reward in their careers but never learn the things parenting teaches you. Others do. There’s no one right way. You can’t tell me you didn’t learn a heap about yourself when you were looking after your brothers?”

He blinked. “I... guess.” Confusion clouded his eyes. “At the time, I was mostly just angry, but looking back? Yeah, I can see how it changed me. Grew me up quick for sure. And you’re right. I did learn I was capable of a lot more than I thought. If there was a problem, I had to solve it. And it changed how I felt about my brothers. They were my... responsibility and I loved them differently because of that, I guess.” He choked on the last bit and my heart went out to him.

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