Page 65 of The Geography of Happiness

“Glad you like it.” I retook my seat on the stool. “Now eat. You need some fuel inside you. I don’t like how pale you are.” I reached for another of the half sandwiches and took a bite, waiting for Terry to do the same. Instead, he kept toying with the one in his hand, until I finally had to ask, “Is there something wrong with it?”

Terry’s gaze jerked up to meet mine. “What was that?”

I pointed my sandwich at his. “Is there something wrong with your toastie? You don’t eat cheese? Bacon? Bread? I can make you something else.”

“Oh, no. It’s fine.” He studied the sandwich again and sighed. “This is going to sound silly, but I was just trying to remember the last time anyone other than my mother cooked something because they were worried about me. I’m not used to it, I suppose.”

Oh.My turn to squirm.“What about Judah?”

Terry’s smile was brief. “Yeah, of course, but I meant in this kind of situation. After a bad day with Hannah. It’s not his fault. Mostly I never tell him. He’s got enough to worry about without me offloading all my shit as well.”

I thought about the bottled-up man who sat in front of me. Hannah’s champion. If I had to guess two things about Terry, one would be that he hated putting anyone out, and the second would be that he tended to carry responsibility for the whole world on his shoulders. There was more than a touch of martyr in his personality.

I swallowed the mouthful of sandwich I was chewing and caught his eye. “I think you’re far too nice to everyone except yourself. You don’t want to worry people or have them know just how hard it is for you at times, because then you might have to admit it to yourself as well. You don’t want pity. You don’t want to be beholden toanyone, including your friends. I heard you on the phone tonight with Judah. You played everything down. You didn’t tell him just how shaken you really were. Feel free to stop me anytime.”

He snorted and slipped his hand free. “You think you’re so smart, don’t you?”

I smiled. “You want me to tell you what I think your biggest mistake is?”

Terry shot me a look. “Can I stop you?”

“Absolutely.”

He studied me for a moment, then said, “Go on.”

“You don’t give your friends enough credit, and if I were them, I’d be pissed that you don’t let them be there for you at your worst, like you are for them. Hardly makes for a level playing field, does it?” It was a risky challenge, but I figured I might be the only one who could do it. After all, I was the guy Terry would be leaving behind.

He sighed but didn’t look away. “You’re an asshole. But even if most of what you say is true—” He dropped his sandwich back on the plate. “Okay,allof it. Before you set to polishing your holier-than-thou crown, let’s not forget whose friends don’t even know he raised his own brothers—” He raised an accusing eyebrow at me. “—or even where he was brought up as a kid.”

And yeah, okay,ouch. I threw up my hands. “Guilty as charged. So, just like you, I know a thing or two about putting on a brave face, burying my shit, and just getting on with things, and look where it got me.” I spread my hands. “I’m forty-two, single, and terrified of relationships. I have no close friends other than Matt, and even he doesn’t know as much about my parents as you do. And I’m slowly, or not so slowly, fucking my way through the entire eligible population of the South Island like my life depended on it.”

Terry laughed and shook his head. “Can’t argue with you there.”

“And one more thing.” I eyeballed him. “They were my brothers I looked after,notmy kids. Useless or not, I still had my parents to fall back on... kind of. I could’ve decided not to step up.”

“Well, that’s bullshit,” Terry scoffed. “You’d never have abandoned those kids.”

I held his gaze. “You don’t know that.”

He never wavered. “Yes, I do.” His gaze drilled into mine. “But point taken. And can we please, please stop this now? Ireally don’t have the energy to onboard any more life lessons, blistering accurate or not.”

“Shit. Of course. I’m sorry. This is me shutting up.” I zipped my lips and Terry offered a wry smile that said he didn’t believe me for a second. “Now eat,” I said, proving the lie.

He snorted and jabbed a finger at me. “Two seconds. Has to be a record of some kind.”

My cheeks blew hot. “Shut up.” I reached for another half sandwich and watched Terry return to the one he’d previously chosen.

The first bite went down slowly, but then he looked up with a wide grin and grease running down his chin. “Okay, so I admit these are pretty fucking awesome.” He polished off the remainder in record time and then two more halves before coming up for air.

He really was too cute for words.

“Zach’s full of shit saying you can’t cook,” Terry mumbled around a mouthful of his fourth sandwich, and I chuckled.

“Finally, someone who can see through all those pretty country-boy looks,” I joked. “The man might be gorgeous but he’s a handful of mouthy opinions at the best of times, and I don’t envy Luke.”

Terry swallowed the lump of toastie he’d been chewing and narrowed his gaze. “So, what’s really going on then? Because you most definitelycancook. There’s more than cheese and bacon in these. There’s some fancy stinky, soft cheese thingy and some spicy shit as well, plus a relish of some description and aioli, right?”

“Not bad,” I told him. “You have a decent palate.”

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