Page 79 of The Geography of Happiness

“Just get over here.” I turned sideways and stretched my arm along before motioning him over. “Now would be good.”

Terry hesitated just long enough for me to know the decision was costing him a few of those walls he so jealously guarded. And yeah, the irony wasn’t lost on me. What the hell had happened to my walls?

When Terry eventually shuffled down the couch, I tucked him against my side with one arm around his shoulder and the other around his waist. “Much better,” I declared, pulling him tight. “Now stop acting like this is the worst thing that’s everhappened to you. We just had each other’s cocks down our throats. I think you’ll survive a snuggle.”

Terry huffed, “Says you. They’re way more dangerous than a fuck.”

He wasn’t wrong. I pressed a kiss to his hair. “Be honest. You’re as hungry for whatever this is as I am.”

He fought the idea for a second, then melted against me. “I hate that you’re right.”

I lifted his hand and kissed the palm. “Okay, are you ready?”

He nodded, but it lacked any enthusiasm whatsoever and I wondered again why he was so insistent on doing this. Then it occurred to me that he’d maybe use it to push me into the box he wanted me to stay in. I didn’t like the idea but there wasn’t much I could do about that.

I launched in. “Right, here’s the short version cos you’re not getting the extended one, no matter how much you stamp your feet. Not yet at least.” I took a breath. “I fuck people, Terry. That is the total sum of my love life and has been for more years than I care to remember.”

He tensed and leaned away, but I was determined to finish. He’d asked for it, after all.

“It’s fun.” I tightened my hold around his waist and ran my nose through his hair. “It’s mutually satisfying, no strings, and it’s all I thought I could handle, all Iwantedto handle since the day I walked off my parents’ farm.” I let that sink in, then added, “I fuck people, but I don’t dothis.” I kissed his cheek and put my lips to his ear. “I don’t cuddle on my couch, ask about their lives, or do a lot of the things you and I have done these past few days.Youare notthem.”

He shook his head. “But that makes no sense.”

“A brilliant deduction.” I brushed my lips across the back of his neck and he shivered, angling his neck for more. I wasn’t surehe even realised what he’d done, but I obliged anyway, resting my chin on his shoulder and continuing.

“On the whole, I prefer not to know the people I fuck beyond the bare minimum. They don’t matter in any relationship sense beyond that night. Sure, some do look for more after, but I’ve never been tempted and I’m always honest about what we’re doing right from the start.” I swallowed hard. “But then you came along.”

He glanced over his shoulder. “That’s the part I don’t get.”

“Me either,” I admitted. “But for whatever reason that I don’t currently understand,youmatter to me. A sentiment which it seems you share about me.”

“That’s... true.” He turned back and all I could see was his jaw working. “But it also makes being friends... problematic. Maybe it’s not such a good idea after?—”

I nipped his ear and he yelped. Then I turned him to face me. “I’m not going to answer that, not unless you have too many friends already.”

He scowled at me for a few seconds, then the air went out of his pissy sails and he deflated. “All right. I think we’ve both lost our freaking minds, but all right.”

He pressed a kiss to my chin. “But I haven’t heard nearly enough, so get talking,friend. You can start with your cherry popper. I’ve led a sheltered life and I aim to live vicariously through your dicksperience.”

“Oh. My. God,” I groaned. “This can’t be happening.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Terry

My phone goingoff in my pocket might’ve startled me awake, but it was the soft snoring in my ear, the chuff of his breath on my neck, the heat of a strong male body at my back, arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and a leg flung overtop of mine, pinning me in place that shocked the air from my lungs.

Spencer.

Holy shit.

Not a dream. Not wishful thinking. Alive and real and blissfully fucked... by me.Spencer.

His fiery breath against my throat sent tendrils of want tingling over my skin. Memories stormed my brain and, oh god. Spencer’s mouth on mine and around my cock. His dick on my tongue and down my throat. Our two cocks worked together in his hands. The urgency. The thrill. The hunger. Things absent from my life for thirty years.

Then, even better—talking, sharing, and cuddling on the couch. Telling our stories. Laughing. Pretending it wasn’t all about to come crashing down the way of all holiday romances.

Then lying together in silence—full and bursting and horrifyingly tender silence. The silence of being in the moment and holding someone who mattered. Of knowing what you want and knowing you can’t have it. Of tucking every remaining second into your kitbag of memories.

---