Page 93 of The Geography of Happiness

Pauline nodded. “The aim of the osteotomy is to transfer weight from the arthritic part of the knee to a healthier area and also correct the alignment. If it’s successful, it should prolongthe life of the knee and delay the need for a joint replacement by years, hopefully. And Hannah should be able to return to all her previous activities—” She looked at Hannah. “—including dance, and maybe even with more movement than you had before.”

I narrowed my gaze. “There’s a lot of ifs and shoulds in there.”

Pauline shrugged. “What can I tell you? There aren’t any guarantees.”

We exchanged knowing glances. “So, what’s the downside then?”

Pauline sighed. “The pain is less predictable than with a replacement.”

“Meaning it’s worse,” I stated flatly.

“For some, yes,” she agreed, and Hannah’s hand clenched around mine. “Others do fine. But the recovery is longer as well—up to six weeks before she can weight bear again.”

Hannah groaned. “Six weeks! Jeeeeezzz.”

But Pauline wasn’t done. “It could also make replacement surgery down the line more... challenging.”

Wonderful.“And if shedoesn’thave the surgery?”

Pauline’s expression softened. “Then we carry on like we are. Hannah will have to take extra care of her knee, and we’ll increase her drug dosages to see if we can get the pain under control. After that, we wait. She might improve, she might not.”

“You’re not exactly a ray of sunshine,” I grumbled.

“I’m sorry.” Pauline directed her attention to Hannah. “I really wish I could offer you better news, but you know almost as much about this stuff as I do by now, and you know it’s not that easy.”

“Dammit.” I fell back in my chair. “So, when would you want to do the surgery?”

Pauline turned to her computer screen and started scrolling. “Let me see. I could fit you in next Tuesday if that works. I had areplacement surgery cancelled due to an infection, but it’s your call.”

Less than a week and just before Christmas. Oh joy.

Pauline kept scrolling. “After that, with Christmas and New Year coming up, the next slot I can offer you is in February.” She spun back to face us and waited.

“February!” Hannah looked aghast. “But that would put me out for most of the first term. Will I still be able to go to Nolan?”

Pauline’s gaze shot to mine. “You want my thoughts?”

“May as well.”

Pauline nodded. “Okay, well, all I can say is thatifyou have the surgery now andifit’s successful, I don’t see it interfering with attending Nolan, although you won’t be dancing that first term regardless. But as your dad said, there are a lot of uncertainties in there.”

I wanted to scream thatof course she wasn’t bloody going to Nolan, thatI was going to nurse her at home and we’d take things super slow.That I’d need to be one hundred per cent sure before I let her out of my sight.

But then I remembered Spencer’s words,andJudah’s, and I saw the misery and disappointment in Hannah’s eyes as she watched and waited, no doubt expecting me to say exactly that, and I couldn’t do it.

Instead, I took her other hand in mine and pulled her around to face me. “It’s your body and you heard everything Pauline said, just like I did. So, what do you think? I have an opinion, but I want to hear your thoughts first.”

The stunned beaming smile Hannah bestowed on me almost made the whole damn disaster worthwhile. “Really?Ican decide?”

I returned her smile, if a little more forced, and corrected her gently. “Not entirely by yourself, but yes, I want to know what you think. You’re the one who has to go through the surgeryand you understand there are no guarantees. You might end up with less flexibility, not more. You might not make it to Nolan, anyway. But I’ll be there for you either way.”

Out of the corner of my eye I caught Pauline’s nod in approval.

I expected Hannah to leap for the surgery option, but she surprised me. Instead, she asked a few more questions about pain relief and rehabilitation and future options if it didn’t work—the exact same questions that were running circles in my own head. I’d underestimated her again. When would I learn?

With her questions answered, Hannah sat quiet for a moment, then turned to me. “I want to try the surgery. It’s my only chance to get my life back like it was and hopefully still go to Nolan. If it doesn’t work, I’ll have wasted time, but I won’t have lost anything. If I don’t have the surgery, I’ll always wonder if I made a mistake.”

I stared at my daughter until my eyes filled and my heart hurt with pride. “If that’s what you want, then I guess we’re doing the surgery.”

---