Page 14 of Severance

I start hacking and my chest feels like someone forced a bucket of ash into it. I have to pluck the cigarette out of my mouth before it drops to the ground.

Mikah shakes his head, amusement flickering in his eyes.

“How the hell do you get addicted to this?” I force through the cough.

“You get used to it.” He snickers. His face lights up for a brief moment and the corners of his lips curl, which makes me feel somewhat content because, in a way, I just made him smile.

We stand motionless, facing each other, with our noses and cheeks red from the cold. He smokes slowly and elegantly while I’m choking and wheezing until a new set of voices drift toward us from around the corner. I don’t bother hiding the cigarette, because it seems silly. After surviving a bullet rain, I reserve the right to have whatever bad habit my heart desires, and no one’s going to stop me from trying things.

Not even my father.

“Hey, you two,” Luke mutters, maneuvering his wheelchair around the piles of snow. Blaze follows him like a shadow, his face blank.

It’s strange to see them wearing suits instead of their usual denim and leather, especially Luke. Right now, I’m missing his ill-fitting pants.

“You mind if we join the party?” His eyes shift between Mikah and me as if he needs our permission.

“Nah, man.” Mikah tosses what’s left of his cigarette on the ground. “Knock yourself out.”

“Is Jess inside?” I ask, dropping my cigarette as well. We haven’t spoken since The Crystal Room, which is weird because we usually talk every day.

“Yep.” Luke draws a brand new bottle of Jack Daniels from the folds of his coat.

We form a small, quiet circle and stand like that for a few minutes, staring at the dirty snow beneath our feet.

“Fuck, man.” Luke runs his palm over his face. “Fucking DK, man. I’m going to miss him.” His voice cracks and I can hear him fighting a sob.

Mikah nods, drawing another cigarette from his pack. His gaze darts to me, but I wave it off because my mouth still tastes like an ashtray.

“Let me have one too?” Luke requests.

They smoke in silence while Blaze works on opening the bottle of Jack. He tosses the cap aside and says, “To DK. May he rest in peace.”

“Yeah, man. Rest in peace,” Luke adds with his cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth.

Blaze drinks straight from the bottle and offers it to Mikah next.

The dark clouds drifting above our heads have grown bigger and heavier, and the sky now looks angry. A gust of cold air circles around me like a twister and bites the cuts on my cheek.

My gaze follows the bottle of Jack and lingers on Mikah’s lips wrapped around the rim. He tips it up and takes a few swigs, his Adam’s apple rolling up and down under his olive skin.

“You okay, Alana?” Luke calls to me, eyeing the bandages on my hands.

“Yeah,” I breathe out.

Truth is, I don’t know what I am right now. Half of me is numb and half of me is hurting while my brain tries to get used to the idea of Dakota being dead. It feels almost as if the last three months of my life were borrowed from some epic romance novel, and then the writer decided to go all Shakespeare on me and took my boyfriend away.

“You need anything, you let me know, right?” Luke motions to the space between us.

“Okay. Thanks,” I tell him.

Mikah tears the bottle away from his lips and wipes the liquor dripping from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes seek mine and he offers me the Jack.

I’m too cold to move.

“It won’t kill ya.” Blaze sniffs, giving me the side-eye. His tone is low and bitter. Something tells me he’d rather not have me around right now.

I grab the bottle with both hands and bring it to my mouth; my gaze is trained on Mikah because out of everyone present, he seems to be the least intimidating. The liquor burns my throat and I seriously think about eating some snow, but the idea stays in my head. Instead, I drink some more and then give the bottle to Luke.

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