Page 19 of Screens Apart

Shit, should I not have bought him anything at all? This wasn’t a relationship; it was just supposed to be sex. And I’d never bought any of my hook-ups or fuck buddies presents before.

Shit. It was a bit late to take it back now.

Should I just hide it and take it back tomorrow?

Fuck, I was so confused.

I’d been trying to bury my feelings for Simon for weeks now, but the harder I tried to push them away, the stronger they seemed to get. Telling myself this was just a stupid crush had made my brain determined to show me that it wasn’t, that I had real feelings this time. Regardless of whether I actually wanted them or not.

That was what had led to me stupidly purchasing luxury underwear for my fuck buddy. Stupid, fucking feelings. This was why I never let my heart get involved. It always got messy.

“Are you okay?” Simon’s voice from behind me nearly gave me a heart attack, and I spun on the spot as all the blood drained out of my face. “You’ve been staring at the front door for nearly five minutes. Everything okay?”

“Fine,” I said, cursing as my voice came out unconvincingly high. “Just thinking.”

Simon chuckled, sliding his arm past me to push his key into the lock. “Well, don’t think too hard. You might hurt yourself.”

He’d obviously just come back from the gym and even though he was tired and sweaty, he still looked amazing in a dark hoodie and jogging bottoms. His gym bag and his backpack were slung over his wide shoulders, and I wanted to reach out and run my fingers over his muscles.

Instead, I settled for subtly grabbing his ass as we went through the door, laughing as Simon yelped in surprise.

“What was that for?”

I shrugged. “You have a great ass. I missed it.”

Simon blushed at the compliment but for once didn’t argue with me. Maybe my constant praise was finally getting through to him.

“What’s in the bag?” he asked, turning to me and nodding at the bag I was still clutching like an idiot.

“Umm, it’s… it’s a surprise.” Dammit. Why couldn’t I have just said it was something for work?

“Oh? For who?”

“For, um, for you…” I was suddenly terrified I was going to scare Simon away when all I’d intended was to make him feel good about himself.

Well that, and to treat myself to seeing Simon in delicious, sexy panties.

Perhaps my motivation had been both selfish and altruistic. I could live with that. It made it slightly easier to deal with than if I’d been doing it purely to spoil Simon.

Fuck, that made me sound like such an asshole.

“R-really?” Simon’s face was the perfect picture of surprise. “Why?”

“Because I wanted to spoil you,” I said before giving him a smirk. “And because you’re going to look so good for me.”

Simon licked his lips. “Okay. Let me just go grab a shower and then you can show me.”

“Sure.” I was glad he’d suggested a shower because it would give me a moment to freak the fuck out. Also, I thought Amanda had put the receipt in the bag, and I didn’t want Simon to see just how much I’d spent on him.

These definitely weren’t Primark panties.

In my defence though, the lingerie the store sold was gorgeous and I knew Simon was going to look edible. It was a paper-thin excuse, but it was all I had. I was just going to ignore my non-existent willpower and the real reason I’d wanted to spoil Simon.

I opened the door to his room, placing the bag on the bed and quickly tucked the receipt into my pocket. I heard the shower running and knew I had a few minutes to kill, so I pulled out my phone in the hope that I could freak out to Thick Boy in Lace before Simon came back. I sent him a quick message in the vague hope he’d see it in time.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I rubbed my fingers over my eyes, groaning into my hands. What the fuck was I doing? I was in way over my head, and I had no idea what was going on. I felt like I’d tried to sail the Atlantic in a dingy and suddenly realised what a fucking stupid idea this was.

How the fuck had I thought I could keep feelings out of this?

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