Page 33 of Strawberry Kisses

Chapter Fifteen

Patrick

I’d spent the whole morning trying to forget about what had happened in bed between Connor and me. Unfortunately, my brain seemed to think that I really wanted to relive every second in excruciating detail instead. I couldn’t stop thinking about Connor’s wide eyes or wanting smile or the way he’d moaned my name when I’d brushed against him. And the way he’d been hard against me…

Part of me wondered what would have happened if we hadn’t been interrupted.

Would we have kissed? I was pretty sure we would have.

Would there have been more? Again, I was pretty sure there would have been. And that was the thought that was killing me. Knowing I could’ve fooled around with the man I loved. The man I’d give everything to if he asked.

I’d decided to just let this weekend happen, regardless of the consequences. It was probably the most irresponsible thing I’d ever done, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. If Connor was going to be my boyfriend until we got home, then I wanted to pretend it was real. Then when this was over, at least I’d have some memories to look back on fondly. And while I knew there were a million things that were never going to happen between us, perhaps there were a few things that might. I couldn’t deny I wanted them more than I’d ever wanted anything else before. I didn’t think I could ask for them because that would be awkward, but if they happened… well, I didn’t think I’d stop them.

Currently, I was reclining on the bed while Connor sat at the dressing table in our room carefully applying make-up. There were various bottles, brushes, sponges, and palettes spread across the white, wooden surface. The brushes had iridescent, unicorn horn handles and shimmering bristles, the tips tinted with colour. They were so perfectly Connor I couldn’t see him using anything else.

“What do you think?” he asked, turning around to face me and pointing at two different palettes with the handle of a small, fluffy brush. “Do I go more sunset colours, pinks, purples, and oranges, or do I go a little more neutral and toned down?”

I lowered his Kindle, which I’d borrowed to keep reading Connor’s book, and looked at him seriously. “Do you want my honest opinion?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”

“I think you should go with the sunset ones or something pink. I think your make-up should be bright and vibrant. Like you.”

“You don’t think your family will mind?” He pulled at his lip, and I hated the flash of worry that crossed his face. “I mean, it’s one thing to date a boy who wears make-up, but it’s another when said boy visibly wears make-up and looks like he stepped out of an Instagram post. I don’t want to upset anyone.”

“I couldn’t give a flying monkey’s what anyone else thinks,” I said, turning to slide off the bed. I dropped the Kindle onto the mattress and made my way around the bed towards him. Reaching out, I cupped the edge of his jaw in my hand, trying not to smudge his foundation. “You are perfect, Connor, and I want everyone to see you just the way you are. So wear the bright colours. I know you’ll look fabulous.”

I pressed a kiss to his lips, soft and slow. It was almost a mistake because once I’d started, I didn’t want to stop. But I did. Because otherwise I wasn’t quite sure where we’d end up, and all we needed was to be interrupted again. “You should finish getting ready.”

“Okay…” He swallowed, then grinned slyly. “You’re so wicked, you know. You started kissing me, and now you can’t stop. If I’d have known you were so sweet, I’d have started kissing you years ago.”

“Oh?” I couldn’t really think of anything else to say. My brain seemed to have frozen in place, stuck on a reoccurring loop of Connor’s last few words. “Maybe I should have done.”

“You’re so cute. So, what are you going to wear?” Connor asked as he turned back to the mirror, dipping a make-up brush into the eyeshadow palette in front of him.

“I brought a shirt with me and some smart, dark-blue jeans that I’ve only worn once. I got them a couple of years ago for best, but it turns out I don’t really need best jeans. They still fit though. I checked. I thought that would do. I’ve got that blazer you got me too if I need it.” It had been getting warm outside already, so I wasn’t sure I’d wear the jacket even if it did look nice. The idea of getting dressed up was a strange one. I spent my days in loose chef’s trousers and whites, wearing chef’s Crocs which were ugly but comfortable and practical. When I was chilling at home, I wore jogging bottoms and old T-shirts, and since my social life was largely non-existent, I only owned two pairs of jeans—one for best and one slightly ratty pair I wore for every day.

“Do you think that’ll be okay?”

“I think that sounds perfect, babe. You’ll look very handsome.”

“What about you?” Connor could turn up in a bin-bag and he’d still look breath-taking.

“I’m going… subtle.”

I laughed. “What does Connor subtle mean?”

“It means subtle! I’ve got a pink shirt and a grey suit. I debated the whole shirt and harness combo, a la Adam Rippon at the Oscars, but I thought I’d save that for another time.” He winked at me, sending a blush hurtling across my skin. I’d seen harnesses in porn before and the idea of Connor in one was not doing good things for my blood pressure.

I swallowed around my tongue and forced words out. “Sounds good.”

Connor grinned at me. I suddenly wondered if he was deliberately winding me up because he loved seeing the reaction from me. It was like he’d worked out which buttons to press to get a reaction and was testing them out to see what happened. It wasn’t malicious though. It was more like charming curiosity.

Although maybe charming wasn’t the right word since he was likely to kill me if he kept it up.

I turned away from him to the wardrobe where I’d hung up my shirt and jeans last night. I thought I might as well get dressed now, although I wasn’t sure the bathroom would be free since some of my other family members were getting changed here too.

“You can get changed in here. I don’t mind.”

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