Page 46 of Strawberry Kisses

Chapter Twenty

Patrick

Connor and I sat in the garden watching the sun set until the sky was almost dark. A cool breeze had picked up, rustling the leaves of the old apple tree at the end of the garden and nudging my hair. I could still hear the sounds of the party from behind the house, the last strands of music floating on the air.

I guessed the ceilidh had finished because it was now just the bouncing notes of pop music, the sort of songs people played at weddings. I had no idea what time it was. My closest guess was about ten. I couldn’t remember when we’d left the party, but I assumed we’d been gone for most of the evening. I wondered if we’d been missed.

Nobody had come looking for us, so either my family had decided to give us some space, or they were too busy to care. I was guessing it was probably a mix of both. Mum and Da would be wrapped up with their friends and family, and most of my sisters would be busy with their husbands and kids. Mary had probably noticed since we’d spent most of the afternoon with her. There was a good chance she’d tease me about it tomorrow, but I didn’t have it in me to care. Not now anyway.

So much had changed today, and I was still trying to process it all.

There was no doubt in my mind that I loved Connor more than ever, and if he’d have me, I wanted nothing more than to be with him. But I still wasn’t convinced Connor wanted me. Not permanently. Why would he? I could write a list as long as my arm of reasons why I wasn’t good enough for him. And I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by pushing for something he didn’t want. Sure, he was happy to fool around with me, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted a relationship. Plenty of people had sex without dating. Maybe we could do that? Just keep it casual. I mean, that worked for some people, right?

Connor’s friends Taylor and Simon popped into my mind, reminding me that they’d tried this exact arrangement and had ended up dating. Okay, but maybe they weren’t the best example. I just couldn’t think of any others.

I racked my brain trying to think things through but came up short.

The best thing to do would be to talk to Connor and see where his head was at. That would be the grown-up thing to do in this situation. It was also the most terrifying option. What if I poured my heart out to him only to find we weren’t on the same page? Would there be any coming back from that? Or would our friendship fall apart when we realised we wanted different things. There was no way to tell whether it would survive the fallout of me saying I wanted so much more than to be friends.

Connor shivered in my arms, and I suddenly realised just how cold the breeze was.

“Do you want to go inside?” I asked.

“Hmm?” Connor’s voice was thick with sleep. “Yeah, we can go in. Are you tired?”

“A little.” Although whether I’d be able to sleep with my brain going haywire was a different question. Connor sat up and stretched, making an adorable squeaking noise as he did. I smiled, my chest wanting to burst from the swell of love I felt for him. But now wasn’t the time. I wasn’t going to ruin the last of this weekend by forcing a conversation. I’d wait until we got home. At least that way we’d have some space if we needed it.

Connor swung his legs off the sofa, and I scooped up the plates, carrying them through into the kitchen and placing them in the dishwasher. There was still nobody around, so they’d either gone to bed or were still at the party.

We made our way upstairs, Connor’s fingers interlaced with mine. He looked sweet and sleepy, and I wanted nothing more than to wrap him in my arms and fall asleep with his head on my chest. When we reached our room, I began to shrug off my clothes, hoping I could just crawl into bed. But after our earlier explorations and the dancing, I could really do with a shower.

Connor was already half-naked when I turned around. He sat at the dressing table in nothing but his tiny briefs with a packet of make-up wipes and various small bottles and jars in front of him. I swallowed, still not used to the sight of him like this so close to me.

“I’m going to shower,” I said, grabbing my pyjamas from the bed where I’d tucked them earlier. Connor turned to look at me, a small but sneaky grin on his face.

“Can I join you? I could really do with one too, and this way, it’ll be faster and we’ll save water.”

Those sounded like paper-thin reasons to me, and I wasn’t convinced that showering together would be any faster. I wasn’t stupid. Then again, was I really going to pass up the opportunity to see Connor naked, wet, and pressed up against me? If I was, I was more of an idiot than I thought.

“Save water, huh?”

“Of course. I am nothing if not environmentally conscious. David Attenborough would be proud.”

I snorted. “Well then, we wouldn’t want to disappoint Sir David.”

Connor beamed then rummaged in his bag for his toiletries. At least he was taking the premise seriously, even though I doubted we’d get to anything resembling getting clean for a while. He grabbed his shorts and T-shirt, not bothering to put them on. I thought about asking him if he wanted to get dressed, but the bathroom was only two steps down the hall, and nobody was around. If they were, well, Connor could move fast.

When we got to the bathroom, I locked the door behind us before turning the giant, walk-in shower on to warm up while I finished getting undressed. My parents had redone this bathroom a couple of years ago, and I had thought it was a bit extravagant at first, especially as it was mostly for guests, but now I was extremely grateful.

Connor was watching me with hungry eyes. He’d stripped off his briefs, and his cock was already half-hard. “You should really get naked, or I’ll have to start without you.” He winked at me and stepped into the shower, leaving the door open behind him. The water cascaded over his skin, and he sighed happily, closing his eyes and pulling his lip between his teeth as he ran his hands across his chest. “Mmm, this is perfect.”

My fingers snapped into action as Connor’s fingers drifted lower. My shirt was only half-buttoned anyway, and it was easy to shrug it off onto the tiled floor. My jeans and boxers quickly followed. Connor grinned at me, cocking his finger and beckoning me towards him.

The water was deliciously warm as I stepped under the spray, and a little sigh of contentment slipped from my lips. Bliss. Connor’s hands found my waist and his body pressed up against mine. His skin was silky from the water, and I groaned as his hard cock brushed up against mine.

“I’m so glad I could join you,” Connor said teasingly. “I’ll help you get clean.”

“Really?”

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