Page 53 of Strawberry Kisses

Afterwards, Patrick and I retreated to the sofa. I pulled up Netflix, flicking through the endless selection of movies and TV shows until I found something that would hold my attention. I ended up selecting a Christmas movie, The Knight Before Christmas, which I’d watched countless times last year when it had been released. Even though it was the middle of summer, there was something endlessly comforting about the marshmallow warmth of a Christmas film. Especially one as sweet as this.

Watching it gave me the strangest craving for hot chocolate and snuggles. At least I could easily have the second one.

I snuggled into Patrick, the rest of me curled up on the cushion next to him. His arm came down around my shoulder, pulling me close to him as I rested my head on his chest. It was perfect, and I soon got lost in the film. I didn’t notice Patrick was slowly stroking my arm until we were at least halfway through. Had he been doing that this whole time, or had he only just started? Either way it felt lovely. My skin tingled under his touch, heat blossoming under my skin. I wanted more but simultaneously was completely content to lie here and drag it out. If this was leading where I thought it was, then I wanted it to last.

After all, some of the best orgasms I’d ever had were ones where we hadn’t rushed things.

Sure, a quick fuck or suck was fun. Sometimes it was exactly what was needed in the moment. But I loved being able to take it slow, laying my partner out and teasing them until they couldn’t do more than beg, kissing every inch of their skin and discovering the little spots that broke them apart, bringing them to the edge but not letting them come because the end release would be so much sweeter with a little patience, fucking them slow and deep until sweat dripped down our skin, and right at the end, finally letting them come and watching pleasure overtake their body. It was a heady experience, bringing someone that much bliss.

I wanted to do that to Patrick, in his own bed, where we had time and privacy. Where I could make love to him gently and slowly until I couldn’t tell where his body ended and mine began.

“Do you want to take this upstairs?” I asked, not looking away from the TV but not really paying attention to what Vanessa Hudgens was saying either.

Patrick was quiet for a moment. “Would you like to?”

“You can’t answer my question with another question, babe. That’s not how this works.” I chuckled and tilted my head up to look at him. Patrick smiled softly at me, a faint trace of worry around his eyes. “And if you’re worried because you’re not sure I want to, well, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “Yeah… let’s go upstairs.” He flicked off the TV. A thought suddenly popped into my head, and I realised it was a question I had to ask before we went any further. I sat up and looked at Patrick carefully.

“Honey, do you have anything here? Lube? Condoms? Anything like that? I mean, I don’t know how far you want to go, but I thought I’d ask the question.” I put my hand on his thigh. “And this isn’t me pressuring you. This is me trying to cover all our bases. If you want to just cuddle, make out a little, maybe more handjobs, then we can totally just do that. ’Kay?”

“Okay.” Patrick nodded, then he took my hand and interlaced our fingers. “And what if I want more? What will you give me?”

Oh, that was a dangerous question. It was a question I didn’t have the answer to. If he’d let me, I’d give him everything. My heart, my mind, my body, my soul. Patrick could have all of them without a second thought.

“Anything,” I said. It was all I could say. I didn’t want to lie to him.

“Will you make love to me, Connor?” Patrick’s fingers cupped my jaw, drawing my mouth to his. He tasted like strawberries, but I didn’t know why. Maybe he’d always taste of strawberries to me. “I want to feel you inside me.”

“Are you sure?”

“More than I’ve ever been about anything.”

I wanted to tell him he was being ridiculous, that he shouldn’t want this with me because we were both only hurting ourselves and that I had no idea what would happen tomorrow. But the objecting voice in my head was getting smaller and smaller with every nanosecond that passed because I wanted this. I wanted him.

“Okay then. You’d better get your pretty ass upstairs, Patrick.” I kissed him again, deeper this time. With tongue. Then I pulled back to whisper quietly. “I am going to make you feel so good, baby. I promise.”

“I know. I trust you.” His face went pink. “And don’t worry. You won’t be the first thing I’ve had in my ass.”

“Whatever are you trying to tell me, darling Patrick?” I teased.

“I, er, I may have bought a dildo last year. To experiment with.”

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that at all! Did you like it?”

He nodded, the blush staining his cheeks deep pink. “I did, but I think your cock is going to feel even better.”

“Oh, I know it will.” I winked cheekily, hoping to take some of his nerves away with a cheeky bit of flirting. It couldn’t hurt, and I wanted to put him at ease. “You still never answered my question by the way. Are we good to go, or do I need to make a mad dash to Tesco?”

Patrick chuckled. “I, um, I have lube. And condoms too, although I’ve never… Well, I’ve never done anything with anyone except you, so it’s up to you if you want to use them, I guess. I don’t think you’re gonna get me pregnant. That’s all I can remember from sex ed at school—use condoms or you’ll all get pregnant. That and the really graphic pictures of infected penises from STIs.” He shuddered. “No wonder I didn’t want to look at dicks for years.”

I snorted and shook my head, trying to school my face into a serious expression and failing miserably. “Oh my God, babe. Seriously. I did not need to remember that.”

“You got the visit from the school nurse too?”

“Worst hour of my life. I did not need to see any of that. And it was all such heteronormative bullshit too.” I sighed and Patrick giggled. I’d never heard him do that before. It was adorable as fuck. “Anyway, circling back to the point. I actually got tested when I broke up with whats-his-face. That guy I was seeing for a while before I discovered he’d cheated on me with half his gym.”

“Tom?”

“Ah yes, that douche. Anyway, the tests came back fine, so if you don’t want to use condoms, we don’t have to.” I was putting on an air of calm, but inside my brain was currently at war. I’d never gone bare with a guy. Ever. I’d never trusted anyone enough, and it wasn’t like my relationships had ever lasted that long. And now I was just going to disregard all of that because it was Patrick?

But it was Patrick.

And I trusted him with my life. So that was that.

Besides, I couldn’t deny that I was buzzing with excitement at the idea of filling Patrick with my cum. It stirred a little primal desire deep in my chest, something hungry and possessive. I was going to make Patrick mine, and afterwards, he’d never be able to forget me. Like I’d never be able to forget him.

“I trust you.” Then he added the five prettiest words I’d ever heard. “Please, Connor, I want you.”

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