Page 190 of Off the Pitch

“I wasn’t. I was thinking about football. Got the last international before the World Cup coming up.” It wasn’t a total lie. The first time I’d gotten distracted I really had been thinking about football.

“And then sex,” Dani added, matter-of-factly. “Seriously, you can tell me. I won’t tell anyone.”

I swallowed, paused the game, and put my controller on the floor, then swivelled to look at her. “So, I’m kinda hooking up with someone?”

“And?” She looked confused, probably because I’d never stopped playing games to talk about my hookups before. “Is there a problem? Is she married? Oh my God, is she super famous?”

“What… um… what if it wasn’t a her?” I asked. I hadn’t thought about telling Dani, but now that the question had fallen off my tongue, I needed her to know. And I needed to know that nothing would change between us just because I was hooking up with a man. “What if… what if it was a guy?”

“For real?”

“Yeah. For real.”

“Is it Liam?”

“What? No, of course it’s not Liam!” I stared at her, completely stunned.

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow. “I always thought you’d be great together.”

“What the fuck? I tell you I think I might be bi, and you ask if I’m fucking my best friend?”

“Second best friend,” she said with a grin. “So, you’re bisexual? And?”

“Seriously? That’s all you’re gonna say?”

“Look, babe, I’m gonna be honest. It’s not really a surprise.” She gave me a soft smile. “I mean, you were obsessed with Ronaldo. And Michael B. Jordan… and that other guy fromBlack Panther.”

“Winston Duke?”

Dani’s smile widened. “Yeah. Honestly, I was just waiting for you to realise it.”

I stared at her. I wanted to try and find the words to defend myself, but nothing much came out apart from, “Yeah, well, lots of people were obsessed with Ronaldo. He’s a good player.”

“It’s okay, J. Really.” Dani leant down and pulled me into an awkward hug. I took a deep breath and the worry, that I hadn’t realised was sitting on my chest, lifted. I don’t know what I’d been expecting, but I was glad this had been her reaction. “I’m glad you’re figuring it out. Welcome to the club.”

“Wait, you too?” I said, staring up at her and noting her tiny, sheepish grin. “Since when?”

“A couple of years.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, a tiny flicker of hurt beating in my chest that she hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me. I shook my head and brushed the feeling away. I wouldn’t have told Dani unless she’d pushed, and I was still hiding it from everyone else. I wasn’t any better.

“I didn’t know how,” she said. “But, um…”

“Oh shit, do you have a girlfriend? Is that why you’re here? Is this so you can tell me before you put it on Insta?”

“Mate, it’s not the only reason I’m here. I do actually like spending time with you,” she said, nudging me with her toe. “You’re going first though. Tell me about this mystery man.”

I sighed. Apparently, I wasn’t going to get out of Dani playing twenty questions. I didn’t see why I had to go first though, especially since it was just sex for me.

“His name’s Félix.” I took a deep breath, steadying myself. “I met him at Liam’s wedding. I went to the bar, and he was there, and we ended up hooking up. I thought that’d be it, but we, um, we bumped into each other a couple of weeks ago, and it happened again. And then we just decided to keep hooking up while he’s in town.”

Dani gave me a piercing look. “So it’s just sex?”

“Yeah. I haven’t got time for anything else. And Félix isn’t really a relationship guy. He doesn’t even live here.” With the World Cup coming up and Greenwich aiming to go one better than last year and make it into the Champions League semi-finals, while also aiming for a top four league finish, I didn’t have time for a relationship. I wanted to focus, and dating was a distraction I didn’t need. I was happy just having fuck buddies for now. I’d look for something more serious in a couple of years when I started to get where I wanted to go.

I was making that World Cup squad, and nothing was going to stop me.

Dani made a humming noise under her breath but said nothing. I knew it meant she thought I was lying, at least to myself, but instead of calling me out she asked, “what’s he like?”

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