Page 231 of Off the Pitch

Shit.

The realisation hit me like a hurricane.

I needed him.

I needed Jordan in my life as much as I needed air. I didn’t know when I’d started feeling like this, but I felt it now. I’d known from the start of whatever this was that I’d struggle to give Jordan up. That he was special in some way. But I was only starting to realise how special he actually was. I couldn’t give him up now. I’d rather give up breathing.

I needed Jordan. And Jordan needed me.

And suddenly a million things clicked into place inside my heart, and it was like a galaxy of emotions had suddenly been unlocked inside me, vast and unexplored but more beautiful and wonderous than anything I’d ever seen or felt before. It was like I was seeing the Milky Way with my own eyes or revelling in the wonders of the rings of Saturn.

How had I gone so long without these feelings?

Was it because I’d been waiting for him? Waiting for the only man I’d ever met who justgot me, who climbed over the walls around my heart with a gorgeous grin on his face and refused to leave, no matter how much I wanted him to. Who waited for me to be ready for him, even if he didn’t realise it.

Jordan had always said he didn’t want a relationship, and yet now I couldn’t see us as anything but a couple. We’d fallen into it without realising, as if our hearts had set a trap that we’d walked right into. And I knew then, with more certainty than I’d ever known anything in my life, that Jordan was the one for me.

I sat on the bed, my head spinning, the gentle breeze brushing through my hair and the warmth of the sun on my skin. But I felt none of it. I was five and a half thousand miles away, in a house in London with the man who needed me.

All I had to do was get myself there in person.

I got out of bed, already dialling the people I needed, and grabbed my suitcase.

Chapter Twenty-Five

#thisishowhorrormoviesstart

Jordan

I jolted awake to the violent shrill of the doorbell echoing through my house.

“What the fuck?!” My phone said it was just past three in the morning, and there was absolutely no fucking reason someone should be ringing my doorbell at this time of day. This was how horror movies started, and there was no fucking way I was answering the door.

If it was important, they could wait until morning. And by that I meant a reasonable fucking time. Not three fucking A.M.

My phone flashed, the blue light of a WhatsApp notification flickering at me.

Who the fuck was messaging me at this time?

FélixCome downstairs

I stared at the message, blinking and squinting as I tried to process the words. What the fuck did he mean ‘come downstairs’? Félix was supposed to be in LA or on his way to Costa Rica. I hadn’t spoken to him much since I’d gotten back to London. He’d been oddly quiet, hardly replying to any of my messages and saying he wasn’t able to call me. It had made my heart sink even further because I’d started to think he cared for me. But perhaps I’d been wrong. Perhaps I’d gone too far by calling him in the car on the way to the airport. Perhaps he didn’t need me like I needed him. Perhaps I’d pushed him away instead.

FélixI’ll ring the doorbell again

FélixI know you’re awake. You’re reading my messages

FélixYour neighbours will call the police in a minute, and I really don’t want to deal with that

FélixI’m too pretty to be arrested

My heart skipped, and I snorted, his words slowly starting to seep into my brain. I grabbed a t-shirt from beside my bed because I was not going downstairs in just my boxers. I had no idea what the fuck Félix was doing here, but I couldn’t deny that the idea of him being here made me feel… relieved? Or was it more overwhelmed? That seemed right. My leg pulled every time I moved, reminding me with every step why I was here and not in Italy. It still hurt, and it was a pain in the ass to try and get up and down the stairs without using it, but suddenly it seemed to bother me less… perhaps it was just because I was half-asleep and my brain wasn’t quite functioning.

The security light outside shone brightly as I grabbed my keys and began unlocking the door. My heart was thundering in my chest as I pulled it open, so sure this was all a dream, and any second, I was going to wake up alone and cold in my bed.

Félix stood there, haloed in the golden glow of the security light. He looked exhausted and rumpled, as if he hadn’t slept. There was a suitcase on the step beside him. As soon as he saw me, a relieved smile broke out on his face.

“Hey, baby,” he said softly, reaching out to cup my jaw, drawing me into a gentle kiss.

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