Page 74 of Off the Pitch

“You,” he said. “And losing the other day.” Christian swallowed, tilting his head back to look at the sky, which was grey and overcast. “And I actually told someone… and the world didn’t end. But I think, even if it had, even if I couldn’t have both… if I could go back in time, then I’d take every word of what I said to you back. Because being scared is no excuse. I love you, and I’ll always love you. But I still hurt you, and I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

I wanted to know who he’d told, but there was something else I needed to ask first. “Why didn’t you talk to me about this?”

“I don’t know, but I should have. I think it’s because I keep expecting myself to be perfect at everything.”

“Well that’s ridiculous,” I snorted.

“I know,” he said, a tiny smile on his face. “It’s stupid, and I’m an idiot. I think I should probably talk to someone about that… and my anxiety, and my dad too.”

“It, um, it wouldn’t hurt,” I said, reaching out to squeeze his arm. I was so proud of him for saying that because it took guts to admit he needed help. “And you could talk to me too, I guess.” I didn’t intend to say that, but once the words were out of my mouth, I couldn’t take them back because I still loved him. I loved him more than anything else in the universe.

“Really?” There was so much hope in his face, but I needed one final thing from him.

“Yeah, but this time no more secrets, no more hiding how you feel. I need you to talk to me, to tell me how you’re feeling, even if you’re scared. And I’ll do the same. I’ve been told that you have to actually talk to each other if you want a relationship to work,” I said. Then I took a deep breath. “You said you told someone. Does this mean you won’t hide me anymore? I mean, I don’t need the whole world to know because frankly it’s none of their fucking business, but—”

“I told Lucas,” Christian said, cutting off my concerns. The fact that he’d told his manager first, the person who had the most sway over his career, said something about his determination to change. I was more than a little shocked, but I was also proud of him. “And Liam, Jordan, and Hugo too. I don’t think they were shocked—well, except Jordan. I haven’t told the rest of the team yet. I wanted to talk to you first. It didn’t feel fair to you to tell everyone else before I’d talked to you.” He paused, turning to look at me, blue eyes wide. “Does that mean you’ll forgive me?”

“Maybe.” I chuckled. “We just have one problem, though.”

“What?”

“Well, I already decided I’m going to marry Kit,” I said, trying to hold back my smile. I could tell the exact moment it sank in because he rolled his eyes and tried, weakly, to push me off the swing.

“Well, I’m sure Kit will let me share you.”

“Probably. You’ll distract me from nagging him about eating Coco Pops for all three meals.”

“Seriously, all three? I think even I’d have to draw the line there.” Christian smiled, swinging gently back and forth. There was a little more lightness in his eyes. He looked happier, more carefree than I’d ever seen him. He’d never looked more perfect to me.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course,” I said, pushing myself backwards so I swung slowly.

“It’s always been you. Always. Even when we were apart, I never thought about anyone else. I don’t think I could love anyone who wasn’t you.”

He brought the swing to a stop, reaching out for mine and twisting the chains until we were face to face. I could see every tiny detail on his beautiful face. I leant forward, pressing a soft, insistent kiss against Christian’s lips that melted me from the inside out.

“I love you too,” I whispered against his lips, drawing him in for another kiss.

From somewhere behind us there was cheering.

When we broke apart, Christian was struggling not to laugh, looking over my shoulder and rolling his eyes.

“I take it we have company?”

“Come on.” Christian pulled himself up and offered me a hand. “There’s some people I’d like you to meet. If that’s okay with you?”

“That sounds perfect.” Because honestly, it was.

Chapter Thirty-One

HUGO SERIN OUT

Brutal Leg Break Puts French Striker Out For 6 Months Minimum

greenwichathletic.com

David

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