Page 9 of Off the Pitch

“Kit, there you are, I got you some food…” The familiar voice flooded my system, and I froze like a deer in headlights. David stood there, a plate of canapes in one hand and a look of annoyed relief on his face. The years had suited him—he was taller now, his jawline chiseled and dusted with stubble. His dark hair was unevenly messy, as if he’d run his fingers through it several times, which I’m sure he had because it was what he’d always done when he was stressed. Thick-rimmed glasses rested on his nose. They were a new addition, but I already liked them. My heart was pounding so loudly I could hear it. My mouth was dry, and I couldn’t swallow. I felt pinned to the spot. I wanted to run, but I also wanted to stay. Despite all my reservations, I hadn’t realised until now how much I wanted to see him again.

Kit was speaking and gesturing animatedly towards me, but I couldn’t focus on what he was saying. All I could register was that Kit sounded happy to see him.

David moved towards us, eyes focused on the man beside me, and it was only then that I put two and two together. They’re a couple. Bile rose in my throat, and without a word I turned tail and ran.

I wove through the crowd, looking for my escape. In the distance I spotted Lily chatting to a group of people I didn’t know, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak to her because she must have known David would be here. He must have been the one who had invited her. I assumed that they were obviously friends now—how nice of her to tell me! Rage seethed under my skin, my suit felt too tight, and I just wanted to breathe.

The front door was open, and I stepped out into the cool October night. The road outside was empty, streetlights providing little pools of golden light up and down the street.

“Christian.” David’s voice was soft. He’d obviously followed me outside, and I was struck by the sweetness of the gesture. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting to see you here,” I admitted.

“I should have guessed Lily would bring you,” he said, shaking his head and chuckling. “She’s so fucking sneaky.”

“She is. She didn’t tell me you’d be here at all. Just that it was for a friend of a friend.”

“Figures.” He stuck his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans that clung to his well-muscled thighs. It wasn’t something I should have been focusing on, but I couldn’t take my eyes off them. He tilted his head, running his hand through his hair, and I subdued a snort because I’d been right about his habit of doing that.

There was an awkward pause while both of us reached around for something to say. David got there first, and I was sure I could hear a tiny shake to his voice. Was he just as nervous as I was? Why would he be?

“So, how’re you doing?”

“I’m… pretty good, thanks,” I said, and for once I was being honest. I might have been nervous as all hell seeing him again, but I couldn’t deny how good it was either, even if I hadn’t quite processed it yet. “This wasn’t quite my plan for my Friday night. I’m not really very good with art.”

“Me neither. Kit shows me stuff sometimes, and I just nod my head and agree. I know bugger all about art.”

“It was never your greatest talent,” I added, chuckling as a memory flared into my head. “Remember when you tried to draw a picture for Sarah Shaw, so she’d go out with you?”

“In my defence, I was thirteen, and it was a shitty plan.”

“I don’t think trying to draw her was a good idea, though. She looked like a lumpy blob.”

“I don’t think I deserved being slapped when she thought I was taking the piss.” David chuckled, chewing his lip.

“You definitely deserved it.”

“You’re probably right.” David smiled at me again, and even though I knew it was a bad idea, I smiled back, my stomach fluttering wildly.

My fears that he’d moved on had been confirmed, and I’d always thought that that knowledge would hurt more than it currently did. Yes, it was a shock. And no, I hadn’t handled it well, but at least I could see that he was happy. And now I’d finally get the opportunity to put my feelings to bed once and for all.

Still, all I could think about right now was how much I’d missed him.

He’d been a part of my life for ten years, throughout my entire childhood, and had stuck with me through thick and thin. It hadn’t occurred to me until now just how much I’d missed his company.

“Lily says you’re doing your PhD,” I said, trying to think of something to talk about.

“Yeah, in history. I’m studying queerness in Ancient Rome under Hadrian.”

“Oh.” I nodded. “That sounds interesting. You always liked history.”

“It’s good,” he said, a tiny smile on his lips. They were still just as perfect as they’d always been, and now that I’d noticed them, I’d started remembering the last time he’d kissed me; a perfect, sweet goodbye kiss. “My thesis is killing me, though.”

“I bet. I can’t imagine writing anything that long.”

There was another moment of silence. In that moment I wished I could read minds because it would make this all so much easier. Was he as pleased to see me as I was to see him? Or did he just wish I’d go away so he could go back to his boyfriend?

“It’s only eighty thousand words,” said David. “It’s not too bad, I guess.”

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