Page 207 of Off the Pitch

Fucking hell, I really should have talked to him sooner.

“Hey,” I said, turning to Félix and studying his face. “Is this okay? Like, I know I said I wanted you to come up, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay.” He gave me a smile. “Although you will have to tell me who everyone is.”

I laughed. “Well my dad is like six foot six and in his forties, and Liam’s short and blond.” I had a sudden, weird realisation that my dad probably wasn’t that much older than Félix, and that was a thought Idid notwant to have. “Um, neither of them knows I’m bi or… about you. I guess that’s going to change. Sorry. Is that okay? Shit. I shouldn’t be doing this to you.” I really hadn’t thought this through, and this was probably the stupidest thing I’d ever done in my life, but I couldn’t stop myself. I needed Félix here, and if that meant this had to happen here and now, well then so be it. I’d deal with the consequences later.

“It’s okay,” Félix said, reaching up to cup my jaw. “Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time I’ve been in this situation.” I chuckled. I could believe that. “And it’s not even the worst one.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I once got caught with a man mid-fuck by his conservative mother who’d brought around a nice young woman who she’d hoped he might be interested in marrying. It really didn’t help that we were fucking on his couch in full view of the front door, and I was balls deep inside him.” Félix’s lips curled into a smile while I tried to hold back my laughter. “Fun times.”

“You can’t be fucking serious?” It was an insane story, and yet knowing Félix, it was probably true. I wondered if he was telling me just to take my worries away. I was definitely less nervous now than I had been a moment before. I mean, at least it wasn’t going to be as bad as that.

“Deadly. I have a scar on my ribs from where his mother threw a vase at me.” Félix gave me a wry smile. “I don’t think this can be any worse.”

“Nah, I think you’ll be fine,” I said.

“I’m sure I will. I’ll just tell them we’re friends if you want. I’m quite good at improvising.”

I nodded. It was stupid. I’d gotten exactly what I wanted and yet his words were like needles in my skin. This was fucking ridiculous. One minute I just wanted us to be friends with a side of scorching sex, and the next, I wanted… something else. Except I didn’t even know what that something was. Or did I?

Did I know and just not want to admit it because that would be admitting to something I’d repeatedly said I didn’t want?

Fucking feelings. I didn’t have time for this right now. The tornado in my brain had returned in full force, sweeping everything up and throwing it around so fast I couldn’t think.

“Sounds good,” I said. Whatever I was feeling could fuck off. I was not going to admit to having feelings for Félix. Ever. I didn’t have time for that. Did I?

If this was a rom-com, I’d probably have the audience screaming at the screen by now.

Liam was waiting outside the ward, leaning against the wall and looking at his phone. He looked up at the sound of our footsteps. A frown crossed his face as he saw Félix, and he gave me a look that asked who he was. I took a deep breath. It was now or never.

“Hey,” he said. “I was just messaging you. Where’d you go?”

“Just downstairs.” I tried to sound casual. Félix was behind me, looking charming as ever. “This is Félix. He’s a friend of mine.”

“Nice to meet you,” Félix said, reaching out his hand to shake Liam’s. Liam’s face shifted in confusion, but if he wanted to say anything, he decided against it. Instead, he turned to me.

“Your nan’s awake. She’s in with your dad and the doctor. I said I’d wait out here to give them some space.” He was looking at the flowers and the shopping bag in my hands. “Where did you get those?”

“Félix brought them.” I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting, but it hadn’t been this cold detachment. It was almost like Liam was refusing to acknowledge Félix’s presence at all.

“I thought you all might get hungry,” Félix said. “Hospitals aren’t renowned for their catering.”

Liam nodded. “How do you know Jordan?”

“We met at a bar, end of last year,” Félix said. He was still smiling, but it wasn’t quite reaching his eyes. “I just came back into London from LA and thought I’d get in touch.”

“Right. Sure.” Liam looked at me. “Are you two dating?”

“What? No!” I glanced at Félix, not sure what to say. “No, we’re not dating.”

“Okay. Fine.” I didn’t think Liam believed me. After all, I’d brought Félix up to meet my grandmother, my dad, and my best friend, three of the most important people in the world to me. Even to me it looked suspicious. Jesus Christ, what the fuck was I doing? “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That you’re bi?” Liam’s face was a little red, and I suddenly had a horrible, horrible feeling that I’d devastated him by not telling him before. “I thought we were friends.”

---