Page 64 of The Fly-Half

“I’ll have a think. I’m not even sure what he likes.”

“Me neither,” Devon said with a frown. “But someone’s got to know something, right? He had to have hobbies at some point. If not, I’ll ask Courtney for suggestions.”

I dug my spoon into my ice cream and tried to think, but my mind had moved on to being fixated on Devon as he beganrunning through and dismissing ideas. The depths of his care and his determination to make sure we gave Matty the kind of support he gave us were so charming and beautiful.

I still didn’t know if I’d ever be enough for him. Maybe that would never be possible.

But I could try, and I could be aware of my feelings in the hope the simmering toxicity didn’t overwhelm me.

And I could show Devon how much I cared, every single day.

Maybe that would be enough.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Devon

It tooka lot of frantic coordinating and a couple of favours, but Bailey and I managed to pull together a last-minute night out for Matty on Friday night with the promise of a dinner in the new year because trying to find a restaurant to take thirty-odd people on two days’ notice was too much of a miracle. But we had managed to convince Clive to let us order a shit ton of pizza to the training ground on Friday afternoon as a substitute, although I’d had a worried call from the local Domino’s asking if the order we’d put through was real because they couldn’t believe anyone would order that much without it being a joke.

I’d deliberated presents for hours but in the end I’d gone down to the local toy superstore and bought Matty a couple of giant LEGO sets with the pool money, and they seemed to have gone down well. He’d been surprised at least and had turned the box for the space shuttle over in his hands, eyes shining excitedly like a kid at Christmas.

Now we were all packed into a club in the middle of town, the lights flashing through the darkness as Charli xcx playedthrough the speakers, the smell of sweat and alcohol and cheap perfume filling my nostrils. I hadn’t been out to a non-queer club in a while and it was kind of weird watching some of the drunk guys trying to hit on women who were clearly way out of their league. Although from the look of it, half the women were very happily chatting and dancing with various single members of the team except for Hunter and Bailey, who were doing a line of shots off the bar with Matty. The three of them were probably going to feel it tomorrow, but hopefully most of the coaching staff would take pity on them.

Except Gavin. Nothing ever made him go easy on us.

I was standing on the edge of the dance floor, deliberatelynottouching the sticky-looking wall, while Jonny fetched us another round of drinks. There was a pleasant, tipsy buzz under my skin and I couldn’t wait for Jonny to come back because I needed to dance with him. Sure, he wasn’t the most coordinated dancer, but he didn’t need to be for me to grind up against him.

“Hey,” said a new voice from beside me, and I turned to see a guy standing next to me. He was a couple of inches taller than me and muscular, but in a super gym-honed, CrossFit kind of way. He was wearing a skintight T-shirt and a loose pair of jeans, his blond hair swept back off his forehead and a confident smile on his face, one that told me he knew how good-looking he was. Maybe once upon a time I would have considered it but not anymore. Why would I when I already had the hottest guy in here wrapped around my little finger? “Wanna dance?”

I shook my head and smiled. “Sorry, I’m here with someone.”

“Maybe they can join us too,” the guy said as he stepped a little closer. “The more the merrier, right?”

“I’m good, seriously,” I said, looking over his shoulder to see where Jonny was. I didn’t need rescuing, but I was a little worried the guy might suddenly find himself being flung into the wall if he overstayed his welcome.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m good, thanks,” I said. “But I brought like twenty-odd other rugby players with me tonight. And I’m pretty sure a couple of them would be open to exploring.”

“Seriously?” He looked over his shoulder at the dance floor, his eyes practically popping out of his head on stalks. I knew when he’d noticed them because Jaden was currently spinning around with Ollie, the pair of them spotlighted by their sheer size. He turned back and grinned at me. “Have a good night, sweetheart.”

“Who was that?” asked a familiar growl in my ear as a large hand pressed a colourful cocktail into my hand.

“No clue,” I said, leaning into Jonny’s chest and breathing in the deep scent of him as I watched the man sliding through the crowd. “Wanted to know if I was interested in hooking up.” I grinned up at him teasingly, noting the possessive gleam in his eyes with delight. “He said you could come too.”

“He did what?”

“Don’t worry, I pointed him at the rest of the team. I’m pretty sure at least a couple of them would be up for it.”

Jonny frowned as he sipped his drink through a straw. It was the same as mine and there was something comforting about him not giving a shit about whatever toxic bullshit surrounded men drinking cocktails. They were a lot stronger than any pint of beer anyway. “Who?”

I shrugged. “Danny. Jaden. Definitely Hunter and Bailey.”

“Danny? Seriously?” Jonny snorted. “I don’t think so. You’ve heard the shit he says.”

“Exactly, I’m going with clueless foot-in-the-mouth baby bisexual,” I said as I sucked my straw, humming happily at the shot of fruit juice and spirits landing on my tongue. Danny’s questions were the sort I’d heard guys ask when they were trying to figure their shit out and wading through epic levelsof internalised misogyny and homophobia. Although knowing Danny, he could just be fucking clueless.

“You’d know better than me.”

---