Page 15 of Cocky Bastard

I already said you’re gonna smash it so you will. I’m never wrong. And I’m filming today with the very pretty Theo and then Jake is coming along this afternoon too. Think we’re gonna get pizza afterwards.

Austin

I stand corrected. Theo says we’re getting Chinese because he’s doing all the work so he gets to choose. Bratty bottoms man, they’re so demanding.

I laughed because I couldn’t imagine anyone else bar me putting Austin in his place, but it was good to know it could be done.

Kane

I thought you liked it when I was bratty and demanding?

Austin

I admit nothing.

Austin

Message me later and let me know how you get on. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Austin

I’d say toes too but I can’t fucking do that.

Kane

Thanks, I’ll let you know.

A smile played across my face as I locked my phone and let it balance on my thigh. Austin had remembered, which was strange and sweet all at once, and I wasn’t completely sure how I felt about it.

On the one hand, we’d known each other for so long that we probably should have had each other’s number years ago and remembering details about each other’s life should have been par for the course, because that was what friends did.

On the other hand, when the hell had I started thinking of Austin as more than just a good fuck?

Now wasn’t the time to get into that discussion, though, because the taxi was pulling up outside of a rather nice-looking building that had obviously started life as an Edwardian villa. The full force of my nerves returned as I hopped out onto the pavement with my bag in hand. It was a leather satchel in deep blue with red stitching that Luke had given me for my birthday last year because he’d said it would be good to carry around scripts and my laptop in. I carried it fondly wherever I went, hoping a little of Luke’s talent would rub off on me.

I shook my hands and wiggled my fingers as I walked towards the door, which was a rich forest green with a gold knocker and had several lavender bushes on either side. There was a little plaque on the side of the door that had the name of the production company printed on it, and below that there was an intercom, which I pressed.

“Hi,” I said as soon as the receptionist answered. “My name is Jude Kane. I’m here to audition forLlewelyn.”

The door buzzed and unlocked, allowing me to push it open and step inside the tiled hallway. The reception area was in a small room to my left where a smiling young woman dressed in black told me to take a seat in the adjacent waiting room and I’d be seen soon.

I followed her directions and found a comfortable space with various expensive-looking chairs that looked out onto a small garden. There was a table with a coffee machine, jugs of water, and a small basket filled with packets of biscuits in one corner, and I helped myself to a glass of water before taking a seat.

There were a couple of other men here, both about my age, and while I recognised them, neither seemed inclined to talk beyond an acknowledging nod of the head. It made my stomach twist and I pushed down the bile rising in my throat. Everyaudition was different, but this was quite possibly the nicest space I’d been to. It felt more like I was waiting for a corporate job interview.

I debated messaging Austin again, just to distract myself, but I didn’t want to bother him. Instead I sipped my water and reviewed the script pages Miles had sent me that I’d printed out, along with some additional details about the role and the notes I’d made in a personal notebook.

I hadn’t realised it at the time, but the audition was for the titular character of Llewelyn, a passionate young artist who was invited to stay at the country estate of a lord who admired his work and with whom he would have a torrid affair that would eventually lead to them falling in love.

Miles hadn’t said if they’d signed anyone yet for the lord, and I had no idea if I’d meet someone today or at a later date.IfI was lucky enough to get a callback.

But the more I read about the character of Llewelyn, the more I fell in love with him.

Even from the snippets I had, it was obvious he was lonely and longing to be loved, someone who threw himself into his work because he saw beauty wherever he went and desperately wanted to leave his mark on the world. Who yearned to be himself in a time and place where it was forbidden but refused to compromise himself because he valued his freedom.

I could see the complexity in the dialogue and picture how the scenes might play out in my head—the softness of some lines versus the teasing politeness of others. It would be a role which called for some subtlety and nuance at times, where facial expression and body language would be able to convey everything that couldn’t be said. But those gestures and expressions would need to be subtle too: a brush of fingers, a lingering glance, a word whispered in passing.

“Jude Kane?” A man’s voice snapped me to attention and I startled.

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