Page 18 of Cocky Bastard

“You wouldn’t!”

“I would.”

“You don’t even know his number.”

“So? I can find him.”

“Ugh, you’re so mean!” Theo pouted. “Here I am, trying to help you get with the man you clearly have a crush on and you’re dismissing all my efforts. Especially because you have zero game.”

I raised an eyebrow and tried not to laugh. “Seriously? Zero? You’ve met me, right? Do you know how many men I’ve made drop to their knees for me with just a smile?”

“That’s different,” Theo said. “Sure, you can fuck pretty much anyone, but fucking and flirting are totally different. Especially when you’re flirting with someone you want to do more with than just fuck. Like… you can flirt with guys in bars and they’ll do anything you want, but flirting with Kane, a man you obviously have some sort of feelings for, is different. You want him to like you as a person, not only as a fabulous fuck.”

I hummed because Theo had a point. Kane occupied a strange, nebulous space in my brain that was dangerously close to my emotions. I kept trying to tell myself we were nothing more than long-term fuck buddies, but it was getting harder and harder to convince myself of that, especially after our most recent night together and the fact I hadn’t slept with anyone else, outside of work, in weeks.

Because if I didn’t have feelings for him, why the fuck did I fork out an arm and a leg to get him champagne, patisserie,strawberries, and roses at fucking midnight? And why the hell would I have sneakily stolen his number simply because I wanted him to know I believed in him?

“Look,” I said, finally giving in. I wasn’t going to tell Theo everything, but maybe he’d be able to help me untangle my thoughts and emotions so I stopped tripping over them. “What Kane and I have… it’s complicated.”

“How? Is it actually complicated or is it fake complicated because you can’t be asked to talk about it?”

“Hush, you,” I said, bopping him on the nose. “Fine, maybe it’s not that complicated. I met him back when I was still acting and we started hooking up. He was also in the industry and I think we were both kinda lonely and horny—I mean we were teenage boys, so that was a fucking given.” Theo giggled and I smiled. “I don’t think either of us expected it to go on this long. It’s been, like, ten years now and we still hook up whenever we see each other. It’s never been serious or anything more than amazing casual sex but recently…”

“Something changed,” Theo said. “You started making an effort.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I sighed and Theo raised an eyebrow. “Fine, okay, yeah, I started making an effort, but it’s only because I wanted to make him smile! He was stressed and kind of grumpy, so I joked about romance and somehow I ended up dropping over five hundred quid on room service to show him how special he is. But like—”

“If you’re going to say anyone would have done the same, then don’t even bother because we both know it’s not true,” Theo said. He leant up on one elbow and looked at me pointedly. “I don’t know why you’re trying to deny that there’s something between you. Nobody in the universe would spendten yearshooking up with someone if they didn’t like them! In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never had a boyfriend or mentionedseeing anyone and you’re still refusing to admit what’s right in front of you. You like him, Austin.”

I contemplated denying it, but I didn’t think that would end well. “Maybe I do,” I said. It was the closest I’d let myself get to admitting I had feelings for the gorgeous, pain-in-the-ass actor who haunted my thoughts day and night. Because even if I did feel something for Kane, would it matter? I doubted he’d ever want more with me, so what was the point in pushing? I was happy with what we had now, and if it came down to keeping this arm’s-length fuck-buddy situation or never seeing each other again, I was always going to choose the former.

I’d had Kane in my life for so long, even if it was only sporadically, I couldn’t imagine him not being there.

Just the thought of it made my chest ache in a dull, painful way, like someone had shoved a blunt knife through my sternum.

“Think on it,” Theo said, leaning in to give me a soft kiss. “I want you to be happy, Austin. And if you think you’ve found someone who’ll put up with you and your bullshit—”

“Hey!”

“Then quite frankly you should be leaping into his arms, telling him you love him, and then finding the nearest flat, comfortable surface and fucking each other’s brains out.”

I chuckled. “We do that anyway.”

“Well, do that but with more feelings. Which you have to talk about first.”

“I’ll think about it, baby. I promise,” I said, returning his sweet kiss. Even though Theo’s pushing had bordered on annoying, I was glad he’d done it because it’d been nice to have someone to talk about this shit with. It had made me realise what I’d known for a while now but utterly refused to admit.

I wasn’t falling for Jude Kane, pop star turned Hollywood darling.

I was falling for Kanan Pendleberry, the sweet, snarky man behind the mask. The only person who challenged me, pushed me, and called me out on my shit.

And I was hopelessly and irremediably fucked.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Kane

“Well,well, well, fancy seeing you here.” Austin’s smooth voice sent a shiver down my spine as he materialised next to me, leaning against the polished bar top and shooting me a smirk.

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