Page 6 of Cocky Bastard

My smile faltered slightly, but I didn’t let Luke hear it. His relationship with his family was rough, especially because he’d given up being their meal ticket to pursue his own happiness, and to them, making a cake for Rosamund Jones wouldn’t be as good as actually working with her. It didn’t matter how many cakes Luke made or for whom—to his family, he’d always be a disappointment.

“Always, babe. So tell me, what sort of cake are you making? Seven tiers with a million red roses made out of modelling chocolate? Or is it more ten thousand cupcakes with a modest three-tier cake in the middle. You know, very subtle.”

“Oh, you mean like your four-tier cake from last year? When you wanted something ‘low key’?” Luke asked teasingly.

“Hey, that was low key. For me at least,” I said as the kettle boiled. I carefully poured water in the mug, the smell of the tea seeping into my senses. No matter how famous I got, there was nothing better than bog basic builder’s tea.

“Mmhmm, sure.” He laughed again. “And for Rosamund… definitely something fantastical to fit with the theme. We’re doing three tiers and then some little cakes and sweet treats too—three different flavours for the cake and I think three or four different small treats. You know, cake pops, cupcakes, mini-tiered cakes, that sort of thing.”

“You’re making me hungry now.”

“If you’re lucky I’ll save you some spares and you can drag your butt across London to see me for once.”

“Done,” I said. “But also, we should meet before then. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” he said. There was a sudden pause and then he said, with a certainty that was impossible to hide from, “You hooked up with Austin again, didn’t you?”

“I—”

“Don’t lie to me. I know you and that’s one hundred percent a yes. I can hear it in your voice.”

“I said one word,” I replied, throwing my hand in the air even though I knew Luke couldn’t see me.

“Bitch, I know you,” Luke said. “That’s exactly the tone you’ve always used when Austin was involved.” I stifled a laugh because I could picture the expression on his face and the way he’d be standing with his hand on his hip, about ready to bitch slap me into next week if I lied to him.

I’d come clean to Luke about my hook-ups with Austin not long after we’d started “dating” and he’d had no problem with them continuing as long as we never got caught. He’d always covered for me and I’d forever been grateful, even though, looking back, I’d been putting a hell of a lot at risk to get dickeddown by someone who irritated the ever-loving fuck out of me. He always had done. But that didn’t mean I’d ever been able to resist him.

Austin Carter was something I didn’t know how to quit, and after ten years of secret, scorching sex, I should have known better. But I didn’t.

I groaned and rested my head against the cupboard door in front of me. “I know. I just… shit, I don’t know how to say no to him. He’s such a fucking prick but when he smiles at me…”

“You drop to your knees faster than a hungry twink in a roomful of bears?”

“Are you using yourself as an example?” I asked with a grin, hoping I could throw Luke off enough that we wouldn’t have to talk about my ongoing obsession with Austin fucking Carter.

“Oh please, my twink days are long behind me, if they ever existed at all,” Luke said. “Now stop trying to avoid the subject. When was the last time?”

“Saturday… he was at the afterparty and he found me at the bar and—”

“You dragged him off to some toilet or other to do deliciously filthy things to each other.” Luke sighed and I knew he was thinking about Austin’s dick. He’d told me once how hot he thought Austin was and I’d ended up spilling half the details about sex with him over two bottles of wine.

“No, actually. I, er, I made him come to my hotel room.”

“Oh shit, babe,” Luke said. “Hotel sex?”

“It’s not a big deal,” I said casually. “We’ve fucked in hotel rooms loads of times.”

“Mmhmm, sure.”

“Can you please not make this into a thing?”

“Only when you stop denying that it is. It’s been ten fucking years, Kanan! When are you going to wake up and realise that’s not something most people do?” I winced at the use of my realname, because it meant he’d reached his limit. But I couldn’t deny that Luke had a point. My… thing with Austin wasn’t normal. But it was just what we did: banter, bitch, have at least one round of scorching hot sex, and forget about each other until the next time.

Except I’d never been much good at the forgetting part.

Austin had taken up permanent residence in my brain and I still hadn’t figured out how to shake him. Even when I’d had relationships, I’d still been thinking about Austin and that had only made me resent him more.

“Fine,” I said, sipping my tea and staring at a random spot on the wall before adding, “but I don’t know what good accepting it will do. It’s not like anything’s going to change.”

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