Page 130 of All I Want for Christmas

‘As if I was going to do that.’ Didn’t he know he could trust her not to breach his privacy?

He took it from her, not meeting her gaze. ‘How long have you been here?’

‘Not long.’

His expression showed he clearly didn’t believe her, but he looked away and down the street, staring sightlessly into the traffic. He sighed. ‘Look, I’m sorry you’ve been waiting in the cold for me out here, but I can’t invite you in. I don’t think us talking is a good idea.’

‘Why?’ She was calm. So far, so avoidant.

‘Because it isn’t going to change anything. My mind is set.’

‘Your mind is set, even though forty-eight hours ago you were telling me we couldn’t go on pretending we didn’t have feelings for one another?’

He took a breath. ‘Darcy...I don’t want to hurt you, but it was a mistake.’

His voice was even; she could only imagine how many times he had said those very words to countless other women over the years. But although his delivery was flawless, she saw a shadow pass through his eyes, as if his spirit was turning over. Restless and disturbed.

‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘It wasn’t a mistake. It was the best thing to happen to either of us in a really long time. And I’msorry I ruined that by pushing too hard with questions about your family. I shouldn’t have let work come between us. The fact that Lilja was your great-grandmother is irrelevant. If I need to find information, it can’t be through you. I understand that now. What’s between us is strictly personal.’

He stared at her, a silence beginning to stretch out as she challenged him with the truth. She could see he was fighting her in his head. He looked tired.

‘Well? Aren’t you going to say something?’

His gaze fell to her mouth. ‘Your lips are blue.’

‘I didn’t mean...’ She sighed. ‘I don’t care about my lips right now, Max.’

‘No, but I do.’ He leaned forward, kissing her lightly, a gentle press of their lips. Momentary comfort. Fleeting tenderness. But his hands remained by his sides, their bodies apart. Resistance lingering.

He drew back, refusing eye contact as he recovered himself. Headlights washed over them both as the rush-hour traffic skulked past. ‘You should go.’

‘I’m cold.’

His eyes flashed up to hers, recognizing her defiance; her refusal to give up. He wanted to keep her at arm’s length but she wouldn’t let him. Clearly they couldn’t stay out here. Without a word he reached for the lock, slid the key in. He opened the door and walked through into the dark hall, switching on the lights as the alarm pips beeped. He entered the code. ‘Come in.’

She stepped into the familiar, beautiful space as he closed the door behind her – shutting out the sound of the traffic, cutting off the rest of the world so that it was just the two of them again. Instantly she felt the tension ratchet between them, as it always did. He looked at her and she knew that whatwas coming was inevitable. The genie was out of the bottle and it couldn’t be put back in again. She saw the defeat come into his eyes and he reached for her, pushing her against the wall and kissing her hard this time. He was angry and desperate all at once. His hand reached for her thigh, pulling it higher as she wrapped her leg around him. He groaned as she unbuttoned his fly.

Resistance was futile.

They slept in the spare bedroom. Not his, with the massive emperor bed that had been the scene of a thousand seductions, but the smaller room across the hall where the Sorolla hung. It was even more beautiful than she had imagined and she lay wrapped in his limbs, looking up at it in wonder – until he made her look at him again, and she was lost.

‘Don’t get up,’ he whispered the next morning, laughing quietly as he came back from the shower to find her sitting up in bed, her hair mussed, head nodding sleepily. It was still dark. Middle-of-the-night dark. ‘I’ve got an early meeting. Go back to sleep.’

‘Are you sure?’ she mumbled, offering no resistance to the idea.

‘You’re not a morning person, are you?’ he grinned, kissing her forehead and lowering her gently back into the pillows. ‘I’ll call you later.’

‘Wait...’ Her hand reached for him blindly. ‘...I need a clean shirt.’

‘Right-side closet in my room.’ He kissed her temple.

‘And...charger...my phone,’ she sighed. It was so hard to have tothink.

‘Next to my bed. I’ll put it on for you now so it’s ready when you get up.’

She smiled into the pillows as he picked up her phone, kissed her temple again and walked out. She was asleep before he reached the front door.

When she awoke, it was almost light. She could hear from the low drone of traffic that the day had started in earnest now and she blinked, wondering what the time was. She stared at the Sorolla – how could it be that she was able to gaze upon such mastery without even getting out of bed?

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