Page 68 of All I Want for Christmas

‘Free hoovering,’ she faltered. ‘...Not to mention, it might add a little life to the house.’

There was a perplexed silence. It was a wholly unexpected turn of the conversation. ‘I work long hours. It wouldn’t be fair.’

‘No, probably not,’ she muttered, looking down and squeezing the scarf in her hand. She had absolutely no idea why she’d even brought up the topic of dogs. She stared at her pale blue sweater instead. He really thought this colour was good on her?

‘A cat might be better?’

Was he trying to rescue her? She looked up at him. ‘If you like cats.’

‘I take it that means you don’t?’

She shrugged. ‘It’s generally accepted that you have to pick a side, and I’m Team Dog.’

He crossed his ankles as he leaned against the shelves, watching her. ‘I see.’

At least they hadn’t picked up from the argument on the step. ‘Thanks for this. But you really needn’t have gone out of your way. It’s only a scarf.’

‘Well, I know you would rather have lost the scarf than ever set foot in my house again.’ He caught her eye and she felt her stomach drop as she saw the look on his face.

‘Max...’

‘We should talk.’

‘No. There’s really nothing to—’

‘I think there is, Darcy.’ He stared at her for a long moment. ‘I shouldn’t have kissed you on Sunday. It was wrong and I’m sorry.’

She swallowed. Each word felt like the snap of an elastic band on her skin – because it hadn’t felt wrong to her. This wasn’t the apology she wanted. She didn’t want him to be sorry for kissing her; she wanted him to be sorry for having Natalia in his life, for having let her leave and Natalia stay...But he didn’t regret those choices, only kissing her. ‘It’s really fine.’

‘It’s not, though. We had agreed to keep things professional and I crossed the line.’ He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but closed it again. ‘I won’t make excuses. I did what I did –’

As far as she recalled, they had both done it.

‘– And I don’t blame for you not wanting to work in my house again. I know I’ve made your job more difficult when you’re already under pressure.’ He swallowed, looking uncomfortable. ‘So I came here to say that if you do need to work late, I’ll stay out until you’re ready to leave. You can text me when you’re done. I’ll steer clear till you’re gone.’

She stared back at him, seeing how ready he was to avoid her. ‘That doesn’t seem reasonable. It’s your home,’ she replied. ‘We’re both adults, both professionals...And besides, it was only a kiss.’

‘Yes, but –’ He stopped again, and this time she knew what he had been going to say: it wouldn’t have beenonlya kiss. It had only stopped there because Natalia had turned up; they both knew that a couple of moments more and they wouldhave completely lost themselves. ‘I just should have had more self-control. I assure you, it won’t happen again.’

She looked away with a small snort. ‘Oh I believe you. I’m sure you’ll be a paragon of virtue.’ She hadn’t meant to sound so sarcastic, but she couldn’t hold back her pain at his words and it made her feel exposed: could he see that she felt everything, while he felt nothing? She stood still for several seconds, trying to compose herself. ‘...I need to get on,’ she muttered, going to move past him, but he caught her elbow.

‘Wait.’

She felt the scarf and envelope fall from her grasp.

‘What?’ She looked back at him, seeing the same look that was always in his eyes, even though his words told different stories. ‘...What is it, Max? You’ve said what you came here to say.’

His mouth opened to speak but he couldn’t seem to find the words, for once.

‘It’s all fine between us. Honestly,’ she said. Another lie. ‘If I need to work the extra hours, then I’ll do what needs to be done. You don’t have to stay out of your own home to accommodate me. I’m a big gir—’

She looked away from him, her words faltering as she glanced down and saw the contents of the envelope, spilled out on the floor. A necklace lay there like a snake.

What...?

Seeing the abrupt change in her focus, Max released her arm. ‘Darcy?’

He watched as she bent down to pick it up. The necklace was made of red wooden beads; they were tiny, the necklace’s diameter small, with a loop closure and a single bead in the centre painted gold.

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