Page 81 of All I Want for Christmas

Viggo looked surprised. He hesitated for a long moment, peering more closely, before he replied. ‘Well, now you say it, yes – there is a likeness, although it’s rather blurred to say with any real certainty. And one little dark-haired girl looks much the same as another little dark-haired girl. At least to my eye.’ He looked at Darcy. ‘What makes you think it’s her?’

‘There’s just something in her demeanour. It’s in the way she holds herself...I’m wondering if perhaps she was Lotte Madsen’s friend first.’

‘They do look to be around the same age.’

‘Maybe they went to school together?’

‘No, Lotte had a governess.’

‘...So, then, perhaps she was a companion?’

‘Yes, maybe,’ Viggo nodded. ‘Alternatively, this is just a local girl from a good family, or perhaps even one of the estate workers’ daughters.’

‘How old do you think they are there?’

Viggo pushed his glasses higher again, peering more closely at the image on her screen. ‘Ten? But Iwouldbe able to confirm that, certainly for Lotte. What date did you say is placed next to the photo?’

‘June 1915.’

Viggo walked down the room towards the red ledger on the table. He consulted it, running his finger down the page, before disappearing into the first stack. Darcy followed after him, watching as he opened a box file. It was filled with certificates – births, deaths, christenings, marriages.

‘These are the family files,’ he said, pulling a sheet with Lotte’s name on it. ‘Yes, see here – she was born in May 1904, so she was eleven there.’

Darcy looked at the picture on her screen again. The other, dark-haired, girl was smaller, thinner...she was possibly a little younger? Her dress had none of the lace trimmings of Lotte’s, but was nonetheless a beribboned cotton with cross-stitch embroidery at the shoulders. If Lotte was eleven, this girl was definitely no more than that, and quite possibly she was ten.

Darcy bit her lip, scrutinizing the child’s tiny, bird-like frame and dark hair. If the picture had been in colour it might have been more revealing, but the gentle grey and white tones washed out her features so that the image gave an impression of the girl, rather than a direct representation. Just a littledark-haired girl, one of many, as Viggo pointed out. If she only had a missing tooth or a hooked nose, or a third ear; something distinctive about her...

She lapsed into her thoughts. If this was Lilja and she had been Lotte’s friend before she had been Casper’s wife...might this have been an arranged marriage?

‘Could I have a look at those?’ she asked him, pointing at the box file in his hand.

‘Of course.’ Viggo put a hand on her arm. ‘...Coffee?’

She grinned at him gratefully. ‘I’d love one.’

As he filled the kettle and she heard thetingof the spoon against the mugs, she flicked through the certificates for the family, pulling out anything with Lilja or Casper’s names on.

She spread them all out on the small worktable; there were more than she had expected. A frown grew on her brow as she studied them, trying to compile a straightforward chronology from what they told her. But as the facts lodged in her mind – one marriage, two births, three deaths – there was no simple narrative to glean. Instead, more questions arose, like bubbles floating up from the bottom of a still pool.

She bit her lip, trying to understand what the collection was showing her. Tragedy. Suffering. Horror...?

My God, Lilja, she mused – keeping her thoughts to herself as Viggo shuffled in the background. What happened to you?

Chapter Seventeen

22nd November 1918

Everyone is in buoyant mood now that the house is full again. It hasn’t stopped raining for days but it is as though the sun is shining inside the walls. Mama is so happy that I heard her singing in the parlour this morning and she promised we could look for some new ribbons for my blue hat when the weather clears.

Of course Papa is always so busy, I think sometimes he does not realize the war is over. He rarely leaves his office, but I can tell from the way he looks down the table at dinner and nods to himself that he is happy to have his sons home again. He is always talking to Frederik about the running of the company now that we are in better times again but Mama wishes they would stop talking business all the while.

There is talk of throwing a party. Casper is very keen and trying to persuade Mama to choose a date although I have been told not to get my hopes up. Mama says there is much to sort, and Miss Holm disapproves, I think – she says some people are sensitive to celebrating peace when so many have died.

I’m very sad about the dead people but I think they would want us to be happy and have the party. If we do, I want to wear my new pink dress. It has been hanging in my closet, just waiting for a happy occasion, and we have worn our day clothes for so long now, they are almost rags. Mama says Lilja needs some new garments too. Sheis growing fast; she’s so tall and skinny she’s like a stick doll. I have asked Mama if we can have a yellow dress made for her because it’s her favourite colour and it would be so pretty against her hair.

Her mother has written at last and believes they will be allowed back here once the confusion is cleared up. This made Lilja really happy. She misses her family a lot and I often hear her crying at night but sometimes I think I don’t want them to come back. I know that makes me selfish and in my prayers I ask God to forgive me for such wicked thoughts, but I know that when they return, she will leave here and I will lose my best friend in the whole world.

What would I do without her? We tell each other everything. I told her about Henrik passing the message to me in church, and she says she has seen him looking at me when I’m turned away. She sees everything. We call each other sister, which makes Casper laugh. He says I should be careful what I wish for and that two brothers is quite enough. He thinks much has changed since he went away and sometimes I find him watching us while we are in our lessons and he looks sad. The war made lots of people sad, but it made some people rich too, so we must be grateful for our blessings.

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