Page 82 of All I Want for Christmas

29th November 1918

The party has been agreed! Papa said yes and the invitations were sent out yesterday morning. Mama took us to the dressmaker’s where Lilja was fitted for a dress and I was allowed some new lace socks to go with my pink dress. Lilja has chosen yellow, as I knew she would. She was twirling and laughing as poor Mrs Harlang was trying to make the calico with pins in her mouth.

Mama has ordered a four-tier cake for the centrepiece and the flowers are being ordered specially from Rotterdam. She wants everything to be beautiful again. There is a famous band in Paris who are going to travel here just to perform at the party and Frederik keeps saying anyone who is anyone in Copenhagen will be there. Ithink the only person who is not happy about it is Miss Holm, but Casper says not to worry about her and that all governesses are miserable by nature; it is why they become governesses, because their own families do not want to live with them and no man wants to marry them.

Also, Casper has bought a new motor car and he took me and Lilja on a ride. People stopped to look as we went past and we waved just like the King and Queen. He says we can go again tomorrow if it is not raining.

13th December 1918

Everyone is in a frenzy. Mama has cried two times today because the dahlias were the wrong shade of lilac and the blueberries have bled through and stained the cake icing. Papa is in a furious temper saying such things should not concern us, but what does he know of the feminine world? Mama asks him this all the time and reminds him he has his sphere and she has her own. He was frightfully cross and has been in his office ever since. He even took lunch in there too, which made Mama wring her hands.

Lilja and I have been careful to keep out of the way. If they think we are too excitable, they might change their mind and say we are too young to attend after all. That would be a calamity after all the effort we have gone to for our outfits, and Lilja is desperate to be there. She has not heard from her mother since the letter last month but she said it would be just like her to arrive at the party as a surprise. She loves surprises and grand entrances!

We are only allowed to be present for the first hour but Casper thinks no one will care once the dancing starts. I reminded him it was Miss Holm’s duty to oversee us but Lilja and I think she is sweet on Casper and he has promised to flirt with her and perhaps even to ask her to dance so we might stay longer. He also said we could try our first taste of champagne, but Frederik overheard andsaid no. He’s such a spoilsport. He thinks just because he is engaged to be married now to Sofie that he must be serious like Papa.

Frederik has arranged for a photographer to take pictures of all the guests as they arrive and a special book has been laid out so everyone may sign their names and we can remember tonight for always. I hope our pictures will be taken too. Lilja’s dress is so pretty and if her mother does come back from Germany and make a Grand Entrance, this will be our last night as sisters. (I hope she doesn’t.)

I can hear Mama calling for me but I will write again tonight, after the party!

13th December 1918

Was it all a dream? I never knew such happiness till now. All my wishes came true. My dress was much admired and Miss Holm forgot the time, thanks to Casper refilling her champagne coupe, so that I was able to stay in the salon for over an hour more. I danced the foxtrot with Frederik and Papa, and Casper danced with Lilja so she was not left out. Mama looked radiant in her gown and anybody who was everybody was there. There were so many compliments, I was obliged to blush all evening. I overheard some of the ladies talking about the coming out season in London so the debutantes can make good marriages. I shall ask Mama about it tomorrow. I have always wanted to go to London. Perhaps I shall marry a duke or an earl.

Of course, Lilja’s mama and papa did not make a Grand Entrance. It was no surprise to me, but she clung to hope until it was apparent it was in vain. She ran away during the foxtrot. I can hear her crying through the wall now and wish I could comfort her, but she always prefers to be left alone when she is sad. I will pick her some Christmas roses in the morning to put on the table for breakfast and I will ask Casper to take us for another ride in his motor car. As Mama always says, tomorrow is a new day.

I am tired now and Miss Holm will be angry if she catches me awake. I only hope I can sleep...

Darcy put the diary down, leaning back in her chair and staring into the wooden grain of the stack-end as she let the images conjured by Lotte’s diary fill her mind. She had her answer, at least. Though Lilja had seemingly not kept a diary, it was nonetheless useful to read her movements by proxy. Both girls were fourteen in 1918 (Lilja possibly a little younger) and excited for womanhood to start. Parties, dresses, boys...The war was over and life was for living again.

Darcy still didn’t know if Lilja was the woman she was looking for in the portrait, but she was on the road now to finding out. Photographs and diaries already proved to her that Lilja had been friends first with Lotte Madsen – and now Casper was back from the war, her love story was about to begin...

Thread by coloured thread, her tale was being woven together. There were going to be holes in the retelling – without Lilja’s own voice, the material Darcy had to work with was patchy, fractured and imperfect, other people’s truths. But Lilja Madsen was coming alive again.

She could feel it.

‘You look great.’

Darcy blinked at the unexpected compliment. ‘I do?’ She had come straight from the archives and, unlike for last night’s date, she’d gone to no effort, unless a fresh application of lip balm counted. Aksel’s stealth invoice when she got home last night still bothered her – not because she objected to paying her half for the meal, but because of the way he’d gone about it. There was something small about sneaking half the billunder the table like that and she had already decided she would only stay for one drink.

‘Yeah, your cheeks are flushed.’ So were his, she noticed. ‘Did you walk here?’

‘Cycled,’ she said, slipping off her coat and scarf – the scarf that had unwittingly led to Max’s lucky break earlier. It smelled slightly unfamiliar, as if it had absorbed his scent as it lay in his house like a treacherous cat.

Aksel smiled as she stuffed it out of sight, under her coat. ‘You look so fresh.’

Was this part of a charm offensive? Did he sense he’d messed up? ‘Thanks,’ she smiled, reservedly.

He had nabbed a table in the far end of the bar and was sitting on the banquette. She had been brought up on the dating etiquette that the woman should sit on the banquette, the man on the chair, but perhaps he had chosen it for the better view of the room so he was able to see her when she arrived? She sat opposite him, noticing the already opened bottle of sauvignon blanc and two glasses.

‘I ordered us a bottle,’ he said, reaching for the empty glass and pouring into it. ‘I hope that’s okay? I thought it would save us countless trips to the bar.’

‘Good idea.’ She angled her glass as he poured for her, but he slightly overshot, splashing wine onto the table.

‘Oops,’ he said, pulling a face and dabbing it with a paper napkin. ‘Are you hungry? They do light bites and snacks here too.’

‘Actually, I can only stay for one drink.’

He looked so disappointed his face actually fell. ‘Really?’

---