Page 86 of All I Want for Christmas

Bu Freja wasn’t interested in the snacks. ‘And?’ she asked, cutting to the chase. ‘Did you seal the deal?’

‘We went back to his, if that’s what you mean,’ Darcy hedged.

‘How was it?’ Freja’s eyes twinkled with mischief. ‘Don’t tell me...after all that playing coy, he’s an absolute animal between the sheets!’

Darcy bit her lip. ‘If by animal, you mean a sloth hit by a tranquilizer dart, then yes.’

‘...Huh?’

Darcy looked around furtively, to make sure no one was listening. ‘Let’s just say the mind was willing, but...’ she whispered, raising an eyebrow.

‘The flesh was weak?’ Freja gasped.

‘We drank way too much,’ she shrugged. ‘And then he basically passed out.’

Freja gave a slow blink. ‘Please tell me that’s a joke?’

‘The only joke around here is my love life, Frey.’

There was a long pause. ‘This is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.’

‘I know. I’m destined to spend Christmas alone – if not, in fact, my life.’

‘Stop,’ Freja admonished. ‘I’ll not tolerate despondency. For as long as there is breath in our bodies and padding in our bras, there’s always hope...He didn’t bill you this time, did he?’

It had clearly been intended as a joke but Freja caught sight of her expression. ‘Fuck off! He didn’t do it again?’ she gasped.

‘Oh, but he did.’ Darcy felt a laugh begin to bubble up inside her. It was so ridiculous it was funny. She had hardly been able to believe it when the invoice had come through as Viggowas handing her the first of her many daily coffees. ‘But get this – he’d had a bottle to himself before I even got there and he billed me for that too!’

‘The cheek!’ Freja screeched. ‘I hope you didn’t pay it?’

‘Ugh, I couldn’t be bothered not to. He was so wasted, I don’t think he even remembers who had what.’

‘Does he remember...?’ She pulled a face.

‘Not sure. I left before he woke up and he hasn’t texted me yet. I don’t know if he’s annoyed that I snuck out, or if he’s embarrassed?’ She shrugged.

‘I don’t understand why he’s so sneaky about it? Why not split the bill like any normal person?’

Darcy shrugged. ‘I don’t know, but now it’s like this...weird thing. It’s the pattern he’s established between us. He invoices me, I pay without quarrel, and neither one of us ever mentions it.’

‘It’s ataboo,’ Freja whispered.

‘It is. The last taboo,’ Darcy agreed, giggling. ‘So I’m afraid that’s the end of your great experiment. The Christmas deal is off. I’ve had three strikes, I’m out.’

‘No! Really?’

‘Of course. Erik went out for a duck.’

‘And Max—’

Darcy rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t get me started on him.’

‘I’d rather not – but from your stricken look, I’m suspecting something else has happened? What’s he done now?’

‘Whathasn’the done? Just this morning, he called me out on my walk of shame. As if he can talk!’

‘I hope you didn’t tell him you were shame-less?’

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