Page 94 of The Midnight Secret

‘No, it’s time you listened to me! I’m done with playing things your way,’ he said, holding her still as he stood before her, toe to toe, staring down with an anger she had never seen before. His eyes travelled over her and she saw the pity rise again in his eyes. ‘Jayne...’

She turned her face away in shame, trying to hide her face. ‘Don’t look at me!’ she sobbed. ‘Please just go! Leave me alone!’

His grip tightened around her wrists. ‘You know I can’t do that!’

She whirled back to face him. ‘Why? Because you’re going to confront Norman? You’re going to save me?’ Her sarcasm was biting and cruel, she knew that, but she couldn’t help herself. Something inside her had snapped and she had lost control. She felt wild. Animalistic.

She yanked her arms out of his grip, surprised that he offered no resistance as she pulled away. Such a move with Norman would have resulted in a solid backhand to her cheek.

‘Aye. I am,’ he replied, growing ever more calm in the face of her hysteria. ‘I can’t stand aside and watch this any more. I won’t. I won’t let him hurt you.’

She stared back at him in bewilderment, tears streaming down her cheeks, her vision bleary, as he continued to stand here. ‘Why?’ she cried. ‘What do you care?’

‘You know I do!’ His voice cracked. ‘...I’ve loved you for months now.’

The world fell still. She’d never heard the word ‘loved’ directed at her before.

‘I’ve only stood by for as long as I have because I was tryingto respect your wishes! I tried to believe that your marriage was sacred – even if it was flawed; that it was not my business to intervene, no matter how hard it was to have to stand on the sidelines and watch.’ His jaw balled, a flickering anger surfacing with the memories. ‘But he’s made it clear tonight there’s nothing sacred in this union. There’s no marriage left to save.’

She stared at him, hearing the simple truth she had tried so hard to deny. She had been an outsider her entire life, misunderstood and abandoned by her father, and she had fiercely cleaved a new identity to being Norman’s wife and Molly’s sister. But neither one of those was true any longer and, as she looked back at David, she understood to whom she really belonged. It had been obvious for weeks, but she had refused to see it.

She rushed forwards, pressing her mouth to his and tasting her own tears on his lips. His arms tightened around her immediately, holding her close, keeping her safe, as she felt an incredible power surge between them. It was so strong, even the force of her visions paled in comparison. The rest of the world ceased to exist. There was nothing but them and this moment.

Her hands were in his hair, his hands on her back, her waist, her hips...hitching up her skirt as they staggered backwards towards the table where he always sat, to the corner she thought of as his.

Where he would make her his.

She trembled, afterwards, in his arms, her legs still wrapped around him. He kissed her face as if she was something beautiful and rare. She had never known it could be like that, the act; that her own body was capable of such pleasure, or thatshe could make those sounds – and make those sounds come from him too.

She looked up at him, seeing the tenderness in his eyes as he cupped her face.

‘I’ve wanted that to happen between us for so long,’ he said in a low voice. ‘I thought it never would.’

‘Me too,’ she whispered; and it was true. It was David’s face she saw as she drifted off to sleep at night; his face that haunted the other dreams she kept private and which sometimes woke her, panting, in the middle of the night as Norman lay beside her (or didn’t). But in her waking hours, she had never allowed herself to think of him as anything other than a friend. As he sat at this table, chatting away and reading the paper while she cooked; as he walked her up the lane on the way back from work; all the time, she told herself that he was her friend, Molly’s fiancé, and nothing more. It was impossible to believe he would see her in any other light than as Norman’s little, mousey wife. She could scarcely believe he saw her as a woman at all.

But somewhere between here and St Kilda, as the months had passed and they forged a new, humdrum life on this small Scottish peninsula, things had gradually changed between them. She felt his eyes on her back as she moved around the kitchen, saw the way he bristled whenever Norman was near. He left notes in her prayer book at church, telling her to wait for him so they could walk back together when Norman went ‘fishing’ afterwards. Their friendship was played out in clear sight of everyone, but it had a downy underbelly now; something gentle and soft had been growing in the quiet moments.

‘I love you, Jayne.’

‘I love you too,’ she whispered as he kissed her tenderly again.

A sound outside made them both start, and they looked over to see the front door was still open. It was only a squirrel leaping from a branch, but if anyone should be passing...Only Old Fin lived further up the track, and he didn’t often make the walk down, but if anyone should be going to visit him...

Fear intruded on their privacy and instinctively they drew apart, correcting their clothing and smoothing away any dishevelment that betrayed the passion that had overcome them.

Still, as David buckled his belt, his eyes caught hers; he seemed so languid and happy. ‘So...’ he smiled. ‘What now?’

‘What now?’

‘Aye, how do we play this? When should we tell him?’

The room contracted.

Jayne slid off the table, pushing back down her skirt and smoothing her hair carefully with her hands. She glanced back at him, feeling a heavy pulse beat through her veins. Her equilibrium was settling again, her cool steadiness returning as a physical distance opened up between them. ‘Tell him what?’

David’s smile faltered. ‘That you’re leaving him.’

There was a pause.

---