Page 36 of Ms. V's Hot Girl Summer

“Listen, I’m not promising anything but going with the flow. That I can do. Or at least I hope I can do,” she said into the window. And for once, I realized Trinidad probably was feeling similar nerves to mine. I reached out, wanting to reassure her and calm any nerves.

“I get it, and that’s enough for me,” I whispered, holding her hand. Hers was equally damp. My heart hammered in my chest. This felt like a huge leap, and I didn’t know if there was anything below to catch me.

“So instead of going to the rental, why don’t we go to that bakery Delilah mentioned?” she said as tension rose between us, palpable.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, this is so important to you, and it seems you don’t prioritize yourself much. If I’m to go with the flow this weekend, my ask is that you prioritize yourself just a little.” Trinidad fixed her eyes on me, not letting me go.

“Okay, so this weekend, we are letting go and prioritizing ourselves,” I said, then winked at her. Her dazzling smile was the perfect reward.

Now I had to figure out how the fuck to prioritize myself…

Easy.

SIXTEEN

Trinidad

The delicious smell of baked goods and yeast welcomed us to the cozy bakery, where we hoped to find Maria.

Everything Orlando had shared about Maria made me think he might have some unresolved feelings for her, and every time that thought popped up in my mind, the butterflies in my stomach got very, very angry. The feeling was so familiar and unpleasant that I didn’t want to give it space. It reminded me of every time my ex-husband met a new friend or woman and talked about them, and my insecurities would flare to life. He never made me feel secure in his love, and jealousy became my companion.

Orlando hadn’t done anything but make me feel wanted, but I had no claims on him, same as he didn’t on me. Our deal was only for this weekend; once we returned to New York, reality would kick in, and rationality would prevail. But for now, I craved the temptation he personified. He and this town with its beautiful tropical greenery and sweltering heat that made you want to walk around half-naked, and beautiful Black faces all brimming with excitement for the weekend and carnival.

If I’d thought the airport was full yesterday, I underestimated the number of revelers coming to town; it felt that overnight we, the tourists, had quadrupled. Everywhere we’d turned, there were groups of friends walking on the sidewalks, laughing in their summer bests.

A sea of umbrellas and towels adorned the beach, with all types of summer bodies frolicking in the sand and water as we’d drivenby one of the favorite tourist beaches. Old Ofele vibrated with excitement. Local vendors had tents all up and down Main Street, which they’d closed for the weekend. After we’d found parking, we’d joined the throng of people ambling around buying souvenirs and the local fare.

“There it is, there’s the bakery!” I’d spotted it first, and Orlando guided us, holding my hand until we’d made it inside the shop. Even after we walked in, he’d still held my hand. I started at our clasp fingers and gazed up to him, so handsome today, wearing hoochie light blue shorts and a white button-up shirt with short sleeves. The outfit was right up my alley and didn’t help the angry butterflies attempting to break through.

“Hello! Let me guess, are you the people looking for our Maria?” A stout man approached us as soon as we approached the counter with a jovial smile. Again, the feeling of similarity to New Orleans struck me again; if this man would tell me he was a Black Creole, I would believe him.

“I’m Francis Landau. It’s a pleasure to meet you both, Orlando and Trinidad, correct?” He extended his hand to Orlando, then, with my permission, graded mine and placed a gentle kiss on my palm.

“News travels fast.”

“This is not a big town, no matter how much new Ofele has grown over the years. Mikey shared with me your ask, and I agree with him. Maria needs to be the one to decide if she wants to talk to you or not. So last night I called her and let her know you are in town. She doesn’t work here anymore, but we care for her and Maya deeply.”

Orlando’s hand tightened around mine till it hurt. His eyes were wide, and I had to jiggle them until he dislodged the tight grip. I shook away the radiating pressure and grabbed his hand again, which was damp. Squeezing with all my might, I poured all my reassurance and support until I felt the tension ease from his hand.

“Her name is Maya? My friend didn’t tell me; she wanted Maria to tell me.”

“Why…is it significant to you?”

“Yeah, it’s my grandmother’s name in Jamaica; it’s a family name of sorts. Maria knew that,” Orlando explained.

His eyes were misty, and he tried to hide by looking all around the shop—the silly man. My throat tightened at the news, and it wasn’t even my daughter. I so wished he allowed himself space to be vulnerable.

“Okay. So…should we return here? What are the next steps?” Orlando asked, composed once more.

“No, young man, the ball is in Maria’s court now. She said she’d come to you when she’s ready. Please respect that and enjoy your carnival weekend. She’ll reach out if you’re okay with me sharing your contact information with her.”

I searched Orlando’s face for any disappointment, but he took the situation with equanimity. He left his contact information and after buying me a spiced bun and three for himself, we walked out to the torrid heat waiting for us outside.

“So, what do you think?” I asked him, taking a bite of my spiced bun.

“I think that went as well as it could; I did spring this on her, but I could have handled it differently.”

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